i do? oh, isn't that sweet, thank you. i have to confess something to you. i must have been pretty plowed at your wedding. i really don't have the faintest idea who you are.
oh, mine! thank god. actually, that doesn't make it any better, does it? are you a friend of alan's?
john! you used to fly together!
john who?
oh, i'm sorry. it's a beautiful name, really.
that's a strange combination.
mind if i keep practicing? i need to work on my ground stroke a little.
damn, i thought i had that one.
what are you asking me for? he's so busy lately i hardly see him. and he's been so preoccupied.
oh, personal stuff. look! i hit one!
who is it?
john ultramalensky?
hi.
uh. i'm just out of the shower.
i'm sorry, i'm just surprised to see you. i didn't think. what do you want?
you ordered it here?
down boy.
i really should change.
i mean put clothes on.
stop that!
have you gotten cuter since i last saw you?
god.
all this goes on underhill's bill?
you were in the war?
i can't believe i'm doing this. well, lets eat.
it's amazing.
your bone structure, shoulders, neck.
just like alan. it's freaky.
depends on the question.
no. i mean, 'no you can't ask me that.' i mean, ask me something else.
because i'm bored. oh, that sounds terrible, doesn't it. i'm sorry. if it makes you feel any better, i also let you in because i'm hungry.
utah is not exactly a cure for boredom.
oh, listen to me. i've never even been there and look what i say about it. anyway, i know there'd be nothing for me to do. i don't even know anybody there.
he never sees them and i never met them.
yes?
what is this?
john!
you don't know the underhills?
i just stepped out of the shower! can you give me a minute?
i think you should call me gail, now.
why did you do it?
a four hundred dollar lunch tab!
i'll cover it. you have any other surprises?
who.
so?
what are you talking about?
in a minute!
how do you know about that?
what does all this mean?
swarthout. yes. he's the man who sold us the ranch in ---
but i've seen the deed.
stop it. are you saying my husband is defrauding me?
just wait, all right?!? i'm going to call my father. he'll know what ---
trust you? i may seem a little goofy at times, but i'm not a complete bozo, you know.
no. i've got to go to mr. underhill.
what are you talking about?
wait a second. what am i supposed to do for twenty-four hours?
i was afraid you'd say that.
sorry. here. thanks. bye.
i want you to know that dramatic phone calls about secret meetings scare the sh*t out of me.
i decided i was going to tell my husband about you today.
but first i called the hall of records in provo. they checked on the deed. you're telling the truth. a minute later alan came in the room and asked me why i was shaking.
so i told him. i told him i was just cold or something.
i've never lied to him before. it's the first time he's ever lied to me. he was just as convincing as when he says 'i love you.'
oh god, i hate things that start like that.
what is this.
are you telling me my husband is a bigamist???
bastard.
i'm calling the police. right now.
don't tell me i can't ---
your twenty-four hours are up, fletch.
i'm terrified.
don't worry, i can take it.
i want to hear this.
my god, alan, you really are and a**hole, aren't you?
you sonofabitch.
'whoops?' what do you mean 'whoops?' don't say 'whoops.'
i thought you had this all figured out. good going 'irwin.'
i've got it all under control, jerry. you can go now.