yabba dabba do -- ! fred happily discards his hard hat, leaps out of the canvas-roofed cab on the dino's back, slides down the tail and bounces right into the seat of his stone and timber car! he gets up to a running start with the only motor , slows to allow a "time clock" dinosaur to punch his stone timecard, and then he's trotting back up to speed and out of the gate! music comes up and wil-ma. wil-ma? how about a great big good morning kiss for your freddy-weddy? and he pulls the covers down to reveal -- dino, who is immediately "yi-yi-yi-yi-ing," hopping all over the bed and showering fred with sloppy kisses. dino! dino, cut it out -- ! dino, that's enough -- here, look, daddy has a nice dino bone for you, just please stop it -- oooh, dino, look -- there's a nice big dino bone laying out on the front lawn -- ! -- gosh, look at that adorable little female dino -- -- that animal's gonna kill me with kindness. do you know we're out of dino treats? and what's wrong with my leftovers? that's right, sweetheart. the only thing that's gonna eat you up is -- me! pebbles, don't worry. these stories are very exaggerated. like, you know, the boogyman? there's no such thing as a huge, inhuman reptile that attacks without warning -- wham! dino reappears, bounding through the window and knocking fred onto the floor. once again dino is happily licking and loving and cuddling his callously unresponsive owner. fred struggles to avoid the slurping tongue, pulls himself up to the window sill, looks out. -- oh, look, everybody, the mailman is here -- thanks, wilma. fred slaps jelly on the toast, takes a big bite, and then something outside the window catches his eye. arnold! arnold! don't aim at the house -- please, not at the house -- wham! fred ducks back just as the stone newspaper slams into the window frame, smashing a flowerpot, taking out a chunk of wall, and continuing diagonally through the kitchen and out another window. fred follows this action in time to see -- yeah. what else can go wrong? 'bye, little sweetheart. 'bye, big sweetheart. what's nice about it? this is the third ragtop this year . say, shouldn't you be at work? you got fired, didn't ya? yeah, i know, i know, those crazy inventions of yours. be honest with me, barn. tell me one thing you invented that really caught on. you invented fire? yeah, but did any one of them ever put bread on the table? how long are you and betty gonna live on those penny-ante royalties you get? if you ask me, pal, you're just blowing smoke up your own volcano. two coo-coo berries? you made of money, barney? barney, why don't you try inventing a brain for yourself! look at what you did to -- okay, you fixed a dented hood. but you call that a living? face it, pal, this is the stone age, and it's a dino eat dino world. you want my advice? you stick with me today, cruise on down to the quarry and fill out a job application. i'm a big man there, barney -- i'm serious, pal. me and mr. slate are just like this -- he takes his hand off the wheel to hold up two fingers. ends up swerving instead. -- just like that. i know, i know -- you're not a clock-punching guy -- but face it, barney -- it's time to grow up and put your nose to the grindstone, batten down the hatches and join the ratasaurus race with the rest of us. it's time to retire those dreams. barney looks glum, doesn't say anything. suddenly fred pulls over, stops the car. barney. look. remember the old days, barn? we used to race our go-carts here to impress the girls. hey. since when do i have to be consistent? sergeant feldspar, i. i wasn't speeding. honest. well, sergeant, if you don't have a radar reading, i guess we'll -- -- justbeonourway -- ! barney, you won't regret this -- hiya, al -- fixing dents in cars is one thing, a career's another. here, you're getting in on the ground floor of the first footstep of a new leaf -- hi, wally, how's the old backhand? and with a guy like me ta show you the ropes, you can skip all the red tape, all the malarky, all the dino doo -- hiya, shirley. this is my very special neighbor and pal barney rubble. he needs an application form, okay? my pleasure, shirl. anytime. no problem. fred smiles at her, hands the forms to barney. fres steps towards the quarry, admires the activity, hands on hips, master of all he surveys. he waves to more friends. well, barn, what did i tell you? when you're in with flintstone, you're in like flint. not again. fred hustles up a ladder to a ramp which leads him up to the level of piltdown's cab. barney hurries to follow. all right, piltdown, that's enough! you're endangering your fellow workers! says me, fred flintstone -- shop steward of amalgamated neolithic workers 101. whoa, whoa, big fella -- he calms the beast by giving it a carrot. as it munches, fred quickly ties the reins to a post. you're on report, piltdown! if it's up to me you'll be pushing a wheelbarrow! fat butt? hold me back, barney -- -- barney, hold me back -- quickly the men form a circle around piltdown and fred. barney looks up and sees -- yeah. that's right. i mean -- this ain't over, piltdown. come on, guys. let's clean up the mess. with much grumbling, ropes and grappling hooks are gathered and the crew hops to it. barney! grab that line! hurry! barney scrambles up fred's back, shoving a foot in fred's face, but finally snatching the rope. he pulls on it. fred throws his own weight into the effort. oh boy. goodbye pension fund -- they rush for the office building. barney, shut up -- mr. slate -- mr. slate -- are you all right? slate staggers to his feet, seething with fury. he finally yanks the car hood free. it bounces and vibrates in his hands like a hand saw. oh, it's ah, just something i whipped up in the old garage workshop -- -- with a little help from my buddy barney, right, barn? well, mr. slate, i call it -- -- barney, what do i call it? -- i call it fibrerock fred -- ! i mean, ah, 'fibrerock'! just be thankful i was there to go over the fine print. it's like i told you this morning -- there's something noble about a man digging in with his hands and doing an honest day's work. once you file those dreams under 'old business' and put your nose to the plow, well, the world is your oyster. and was i right? details, barney, details. i just can't wait to see the girls' faces when we tell 'em the news. why? oh, me and barn, we suddenly realized that we had a little spare change. noogy, noogy, ha, ha -- ! ready when you are. hey, '1'. a good year. we see your dollar signs, ladies. and. we raise them. you bet they're real, sweetheart. they're as real as. as. well, as real as -- -- the best darn friends and neighbors in the whole world. right, pal o'mine. as they laugh and the girls slowly absorb the truth, we -- brother buffaloes, honored herdmaster, junior bucks and apprentice antlers, a great good evening to you all. ahem. as you know, our organization has survived difficult times that have seen the extinction of such other lodges as the order of whooping cranes and brotherhood of giant sloths. but we here have come through the croo . the crux. -- crucible with our fur fluffy and our hooves unscathed. now, the future holds many promises and many problems. as your next herdmaster, i would bring to you the same determination, courage and -- if i may say so -- bold thinking that i have brought to the workplace. thank you, and ack ack a-dack. applause follows fred's return to the floor. hey, when you're hot you're hot. boys, lemme buy a round of drinks for everyone. but the principle is the same, barn. don't forget that. fred leads the group over to the bar. piltdown and pyrite come along with a shrug. why not, for a brew? fred reaches -- here you go, boys, nice and frosty. "bottle opener" creature go ahead, laugh. if i had a good orthodontist, my life woulda been different. fred tosses the "opener" aside -- well, here's to. here's to the greatest bunch of lifelong buffaloes a guy could dream of leading. anybody else got a toast? aw, gee, barn. you shouldn't say that. . at least not till after next week's election! well, harry, it just so happens that old fred is moving up in the world. boys, you're looking at mr. slate's new partner. prepare to eat those words, piltdown. gentlemen, my card -- he passes them out, and the others take them, curious -- barney, it's all part of the plan. yes, boys, you see, i went up to my pal, mister slate and single- handedly made him an offer he couldn't refuse -- -- 'freddy boy,' he sez to me, 'we gotta talk turkey -- ' that's right -- just like that -- ah, excuse us, boys. barney, we could tell everyone how you invented this fibrerock stuff, how slate and lava found out about it by accident and all, but what would that be? this is big business, barney. we can't start telling the truth, it'd create the wrong impression. think about all the really big deals in history -- back to the beginning of recorded time. barney knits his brow in thought for maybe three seconds. what do they all have in common? i'll tell you. a front man. a guy who's out in the public eye running the point, fighting the crowds. and meanwhile. back in the corner is the silent partner. that's because the silent partner is always silent. but while you're busy being silent -- -- all along you're the brains behind the operation and i'm the brains in front of the operation. i'm out here running the guts of the operation but you got a cut. it looks like my mind, but you're really behind. attaboy! and a confident fred shakes hands with an unsure "silent partner". cut to: yeah. it does feel a little light. he returns to her, opens the pail, is surprised to find it's empty. before he can comment, she smilingly presents him with a spanking new briefcase. "f.f" is embossed on it in gold. aw, wilma. lookit, it's got buckles, a strap, a lock -- he opens it. inside is a huge drumstick and some ribs. -- baby, you're the greatest. i'm already taken. he moves to the car. ah, mister rubble, i presume? of the fibrerock rubbles? yas, yas. the water was too deep and my horse drowned. they crack up at their own wit, drive off. gets the old adrenaline going, barn. us big executives, we need that kind of jolt to get the old wheels turning. hey. what's going on? yes, yes. quick, dynamic entry into the marketplace. i approve. hey, you're right. . big business is hell, barney. trust me. you'll get used to it. welcome to the top -- partner. i do? i mean, i do, yeah! mr. slate -- we gotta talk -- about those guys outside, mr. slate. some of 'em, well, they been here for years. and you, well, you can't lay them off just like -- -- that! oh, you can, huh? me! ah, ha, that's rich, mr. slate, that's -- suddenly fred stops laughing. uh. well, gee, i. uh, yeah. akkk. something. noble. man . job. nose. wheel. shoulder. grindstone. hommm. yggggg. since when do you have to prepare for a landslide, right, guys? barn -- w-what's going on? guys, guys, come on now -- what's a quarry fulla layoffs got to do with a lodge fulla buffaloes? fellas, come on. we're all big boys here -- he gestures vaguely towards the outside world, then back to the little band of brothers here. surely we can separate in our minds work, and play. job, and lodge. wait, wait. your antlerness, please, one second -- ! fred grabs barney by the shoulder, spins him around, pushes him forward like a refrigerator on a dolly, stands him up center stage. barney, you gotta tell the other guys what really happened. tell 'em the story behind fibrerock. the true story. the room quiets. barney clears his throat. fred waits, hopeful. no, no, the rest --! big deal, after you screwed everything up in the first place! barney reacts, really hurt. he moves away on the bench. fred's so agitated he doesn't even realize it. no kidding. they rejected the best candidate -- oh, no! that -- that's horrible! we could end up with half a percent of nothing! oh, yeah, yeah, that, too. come on, barn, we gotta stop 'em! cut to: i don't believe this. how did things ever get this out of hand -- ? well, i wouldn't go that far. suddenly they're interrupted by the sound of a siren. fred looks back and sees -- oh, no, not now. feldspar signals fred onto the shoulder. fred smiles, nods. barn! did you see that -- ? -- huh, now it's gone. i coulda sworn. brother piltdown. can we talk about this, antler to antler? guess not. fred inches down the shuddering beam, jumps off. freed of fred's weight, the other end "boings" down on piltdown's head. he groans, recovers in time to chase after fred. dare you to cross that line. that line. i don't wanna talk about it. besides, who cares about a bunch of jerks running around with furs on their heads? i'm more of a country club guy myself anyway. but barney doesn't want to take a vacation -- he says he's gotta be here to check up on the fibrefoam -- of course not, mister lava. but -- why, yeah, sure, jerry. well, actually, i wouldn't say small part. i'd say. kind of a medium-sized. well, almost medium-sized. well, really a semi-partial assistant counsulting type, of -- well, gee, that's tough one -- -- uh, what are my important duties? r-rockin' leach? indeed, it is he, and he smiles, extends his hands. m-me? on -- on television? barney who? w-what's wrong? maybe you could move those plants to block them out? it's the rubble yard, wilma. it's just not the right image. he starts away, suddenly notices his own barbecue and trikes. quickly, without missing a stride, he tosses a tarp over them, slides a potted plant over for good measure. well, rockin', you're right, i have affected destiny for all mankind, and it's a sobering thought. however, if i may add a personal note at this time, i myself cannot personally take all the credit for fibrerock. no, i could never have done it without the inspiration and support of a very special person. i'm speaking, of course, of my close friend and associate, mister slate, founder and c.e.o. of slate construction. 191 wilma, barney, betty 191 hello, hello. bon soir. good to see ya. glad you could make it. fred -- there's the bar, make yourself at home -- mi casa es votre casa, so, when in rome and all that -- you mean you can see their house -- ? wilma, i'm shocked. i wouldn't do that. okay, i admit it: i'm trying to make an impression here, i wanna look good, i wanna be a success. but deep down inside, i'm still the same lovable guy you married -- -- frederick von flintstone the third -- what'd i say? yas, yas, it's a challenging commodity market these days. personally, i'm considering petrified forests, but they do say that volcano futures are ready to explode, ha, ha. hey, whoa, what's happening -- fred! he stumbles through the thinning crowd, clutching at elbows. hey, what's the hurry? we got a cake shaped like a piece of fibrerock. i got it, how about some charades? no, even better, twenty questions: 'am i animal, mineral, or fossil'? oh, i heard a great one the other day . a guy walks in a bar with a duckasaurus on his head and the bartender says -- this'll kill you, the bartender says -- fred stops, running out of steam along with his moment of glory. he stands alone on the lawn. wilma slowly comes up to him. whaddya mean, not working out? they're goin' party hopping, that's all. that's what ya do in society, wilma. you cruise around. they'll go over to slate's shindig for a while, then they'll come back here. you go on over to slate city, okay? nah, me and some of the guys from the country club, we're gonna play poker, yeah, big stakes poker until everybody comes back. go on with the others. the kids got their show to put on anyway. and i wouldn't want people to think. to think the flintstones were party poopers. just you and me now, dino. yeah. that's okay. man and man's best friend. b. barney? 'pal'? how can you call me that? barney, i. i've been such a. such a. such a. well, yeah. but more of a -- well -- barney. can. can you ever forgive me for being such a jerk? aw, barn. and he grabs barney in a big bear hug. tears in both their eyes, they slap each other on the back, two prehistoric sensitive guys. cut to: boy, those were the days, barney. bedrock high winning all those games. and you and me right in the middle of it. so what? we made the team spirit. that's just as important. whatever happened to those cheerleader costumes? boy. talk about memories. fred tosses the cheerleader sweater to barney, who grins, pulls it on. fred also starts to get into his old "uniform," but has to suck his gut in mightily. finally, he can zip it up, stern to stem. back then, we thought a pop quiz was a big problem. we didn't know how good we had it. no problems, no worries. what for? so him and all his fancy friends can look down their noses at us? all they've been doing is using us, barney. and meanwhile -- -- meanwhile all the time they were laughing at us. about an hour ago. wha. what's happening? your old models are just fine. what's it? but. why would -- -- not 'somebody' -- lava! then. what's happening here. oh no. barney! wilma and betty -- and the kids -- they're all there -- with a final whimper, the little fibresphere caves in and then the nearby slate needle crumbles, model story by model story. finally the "disk" on top of the needle is all that's left, wobbling around like a spun dinner plate. it finally falls. explodes. -- b-barney. what do we do? what'll we do when we get there? barney -- ! -- i can't see straight -- ho, gweat! hoo bwoke hit, bahnee! hi khnat twalk hennymore! suddenly both men react to an approaching siren. they both look back at -- ho noh! ahhrisser felghspah! haybee whee hould shtop -- ? 'hen yore height, yore height. fred pours on more speed. they careen around a turn. camera whip pans to a road sign: slate city--1 mi. 'ood hidea. ood whuk, ol' bhudee. they slap hands together like basketball players, then head off in two directions. offisser fledapar, het me hexpwain -- his howse hiss maid uv fibahwock -- he reaches out to tap the nearby wall and -- wham -- it collapses all around him, leaving a gaping hole in the house! nogh, wate, chum baggk -- as fred "roars" and moves forward, feldspar and gravel scream, panic, and run! barney! the elevator -- ! quick! use your coo-coo gun -- ! it's real simple, mister slate. your boy lava here has been stealing the coo-coo berries from the fibrerock mix and fixing the books to hide it! now i remember! these guys were pulling this xenosaurus act that night at the plant! what's this, lava. 'plan b'? y-yeah. everything's gonna be just -- whoa, hoo-hah, aggh -- -- wait a minute -- i don't feel anything at all -- hist hust fine! he lowers his head, runs through the fire, which licks at him harmlessly. then with his claw, he smashes the amber glass -- hit fuzz nudding. wheely. the pythonsaurus looks around at the attention. upsy-daisy, sweetheart -- piggy back time! she jumps on his back. slamming the monster head back in place. hohh. gweat! wilmagh, i jusght whunt to sagh thad i knogh shumtimes i dogh dumb thinks. bhut hit's becaughse high luff yough sogh much thaght high whant yough to livgh likge a pwincess orgh a qween 'cause you reaally arggh rugg aaggg hummmmg higga! lhet's dogh it! high ham noght a zenosore! high ham hay hooman beeng -- ! bam! wham! kabam! bullets and projectiles begin slamming all around fred! he ducks behind a big fallen chunk of fibrerock -- catches his breath as the bullets and shells bounce off its resilient surface. barn? what's going on? dino kibble? disbelieving, fred moves over to the happily-munching animals. he has to get on his knees to wiggle in with the pack. he grabs some, stuffs it in his mouth. chews. his eyes widen. dhinough khibble!! he spits it out, takes out the chunk of contract slate wrote on. barney, we -- we're rich! yabba dabba do -- ! wilma? . wilma? camera cranes up, widens as fred becomes a tiny sil- houette banging on the door. wilma? wil-ma --!