oh.  yes.  i'm late.
oh.  no, that's all right. i can carry them by myself.
well gosh -- thank you!
tell me, how long have the others been here?
i'm sorry, athena. i was attending a birth and the placenta was late in coming.
oh, wait, lemme give you a little more than that.
all life is precious.  but i do apologize for being late, elspeth.
they do that here, too, jezebel, in the hospitals, but it causes hemorrhages. i fed the mother a bowl of comfrey tea and it brought the afterbirth down perfectly. the couple are going to use it for fertilizer to plant a lovely tree for their baby.
yes -- because you see when the placenta detaches from the uterine wall.
great goddess diana, fail you i will, i was to bring fresh sperm from my bill. i had him erect, and his semen would follow but alas i was hot, so hot that i swallowed.
oh look, they don't care if i smile or not! all they want is.
you won't understand, believe me.
well.  okay. the five of us -- elspeth, jezebel, athena, raven and me -- are a coven.
yes.
and you see, our coven has spent forty years trying to perfect a ritual to undo a wicked curse put on our goddess diana.
oh.  ha ha.  i mean the witches before us tried and failed. but athena, our high priestess, discovered a great potion to reverse the evil spell which turned our beautiful goddess into an old rock.
she was a beautiful virgin. an entertainer by trade, but a great sorceress by design. it was here in this very room, on her wedding night, a jealous rival placed the curse on diana.
yes.  and her young husband turned into a pink fish! they found him swimming in the pool in circles. while our dear goddess: a stone in her honeymoon bed.
this was diana.
oh, but she was! she had lovers, but she saved that for marriage. which is the example i've tried to follow: to do everything but that till i marry.
well, it doesn't matter now.  and she won't be resurrected tonight 'cause i failed her. i let my whole coven down!
only, not now -- we were each supposed to bring something -- a life fluid.
only.  i swallowed it.
and now, you're my last chance!
that's not flea powder, that's sacred dust ground from the horns of albino goats.
well, see, what i really want to do is be a midwife. i've attended four births already! i can prevent vaginal tears and everything.
i joined the coven to attain greater understanding of my feminine power so i could become a truly great midwife!
do you really think so?
who's betty -- your girlfriend?
oh good!
my phone number in topanga. call me?
i'm a woman now!
we did it right there, in the big cauldron!
goddess diana, i offer you the jism of one i wooed for you that you may live and know such bliss of getting laid by a guy like this.
what?
he was no virgin!