bottle of moet et chandon. fast.
give me that.
there.  see? you look cool with your hair up like this. like me.
not down and to the side, all stupid like your mom likes to comb it.
you've got your mother's hair.
i can't do anything with it.
there. go.
hey.
let's just leave the kids here.
no.  with the television.
you want to have fun tonight, don't you?
they'll be fine.
hey.
you guys are going to stay here and watch tv.
i want you to be in bed asleep before twelve. your mother and i will be back later on.
okay?
don't misbehave.
what did i say?
behave.
no time for this. leave it on ice.
there'll be plenty for you and the party, baby, you can bomb yourself all you want at the party.
hey.
you want five hundred bucks?
how about three?
yeah.
my children are staying here tonight watching tv. i want you to check up on them every thirty minutes.
make sure they're all right, make sure they're fed, make sure they go to bed.
i don't trust babysitters. my children are safer alone than with some fucked- up pedophile babysitter i don't know from the man in the fucking moon.
tell me that's not a face you can trust.
one hundred.  two hundred.  three hundred.
i said three hundred.
you calling me a liar?
i don't do anything accidentally, jerk. i might've first said five hundred, but what i last said was three hundred, and what you say last is what counts.
you fuckin' with me, pendejo?
you callin' my kids a pain in the ass?
no, you were right the first time. you win, tough guy, five hundred.
what's your name? ted?
his name is ted. if you need anything, dial 0 and ask for ted.
if something happens to my children, i wouldn't want to be you.
don't misbehave.
did they misbehave?