hey, it's george simmons, i'm coming in.
sure buddy. let's do it. one of the college students put his arm around george while the other takes the picture.
yeah bud. they take the picture.
thanks. tell your friends.
i like those lunestas. they really put me to sleep without giving me the sleeping pill hangover i get from the restorils.
yeah, sure. she puts her arm around him. her little brother jumps in too.
thanks, pal.
ah life. what does it mean? sometimes life makes perfect sense. and then you `come'.
life isn't all about laughs. crazy shit happens. you've got to be nice to each other. you never know what's going to happen. ira passes george as he heads onto the stage.
sorry i sucked it up out there. at least they are well rested for you. ira, takes the stage. he starts trying to do his act, but he is unsure of himself and unable to figure out how to take the weird energy of the room and spin it to his advantage. he basically bombs. we reveal chuck and his date watching, looking miserable.
oh i'm sorry. let me pull out. george pulls the car back ten feet.
hey man, you had some funny shit tonight.
man, that audience hated you. they really did not like you. they liked your buddy, who looked exactly like you but was funnier. man, that's going to haunt you. you're going to wake up in six months and think about this night.
i'm just fucking with you. you had some funny jokes in there. good writing.
alright, pal. don't worry. only two hundred people saw that tonight. i'll see you later. george pulls out, turns the car around, and as he passes by ira, he steers his car as if he's going to run him down, and starts screaming.
you're gonna die!!! i'm gonna kill you! then he smiles at ira and drives off. ira smiles. this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to him.
it's george.
i thought you and leo were pretty funny last night and i have to do this corporate gig for apple computers in a couple of days and i thought you guys could write me some jokes.
i don't know, about computers and shit. i could mainly do my act but they like it if you talk about them a little.
what is your email? i will send you my fax and email and all that.
i almost just changed my mind. you got to change that.
today. seriously. ok. later. ira hangs up and turns to his friends.
there's some funny shit in here. not a bad ratio of good jokes to shit.
too many choices. i don't like reading that much. i need like ten good jokes. i'm a little mad you made me read that many to get to ten. but thanks for doing it.
so you cried yourself to sleep?
i'm leaving at four tomorrow to go to the gig. you want to come check it out, see if your shit works?
how you doing, you ready for this?
i think i'm going to have you go on before me to warn them up.
hey, if you bomb, they'll just be more excited to see me. they'll be so glad your not on stage any more. then if you do well, they'll be ready for me. either way, you're helpful.
i like this joke about watching porn and making porn all at the same time. that was a good one.
you want something to eat? i had them bring chinese on the plane. ira's eyes widen. he likes this way of life.
and just say he's a friend of mine, and i think he's funny.
what the fuck is that? you did three of the jokes that you wrote for me.
that's why i hired you, to write jokes about computers. ira takes out the long list of jokes he's written.
they better kill, i'm getting paid a hundred thousand dollars for this.
we'll be on the ground in a half hour. want to go to a bar? do something fun?
here's a grand for the jokes and the gig. even though you should be paying me after that. ira's eyes widen.
good job.
then this is an exciting moment.
i feel nothing. i remember when a grand was the most exciting thing in the world. i'd go to red lobster and go nuts. now it's just numbers in a bank account. enjoy tonight. you made a thousand bucks.
hey, let's all go back to my house.
oh there's a whole other wing that you wouldn't even know existed unless you went through this door.
he can't believe he's having sex with you.
hey, mandy thought you left, so she left.
sorry, that kind of stuff happens when you have a big house.
you don't have to go. i'm just saying that she left. i think she left her purse in the other wing. come with me, let's go get it. ira watches this, astonished.
did ira tell you i have a room with all the classic pinball machines and video games?
yeah, i got galaga. let's go check it out.
hey don't go, i'll be back in a second.
that girl left. you want to talk to me while i try to go to sleep. ira doesn't know what to make of this.
i'm afraid i did. i'm sorry. it was just so clear that you were not going to get it done. i figured you wouldn't mind.
it was great. it was crazy great.
well, we took a steam shower together.
she had never seen a steam shower before, i told her she should enjoy it.
she told me that too, but she says i was on her and her boyfriend's list of people she was allowed to screw. you'd be surprised how many women have me on that list.
just talk to me before i fall asleep. i'm weird. i don't like being alone. you should crash in one of the rooms. you're too drunk to drive home. i won't try to fuck you, i just fucked two women and i'm kind of done.
whack away, i don't give a shit.
i do feel bad for you, because no matter how hard you try, you'll never be as funny as me.
did your dad crack you on the head when you were a kid?
that's why. my dad always seemed annoyed with me. he'd always crack me on the head. you would not see it coming. i spent my whole childhood trying to make my dad laugh so he wouldn't smack me. but he was an awesome guy. he was the coolest. he just got annoyed with me. do you like your parents? they can't be that bad, because you're not that funny.
no, keep going. it's interesting. tell me about your day job?
hey man, you want to make me breakfast?
do you know how to cook anything?
okay, let's have some eggs. while ira is cooking, george takes a lot of pills.
no. medicine. i'm sick.
i've got some crazy blood disease. they think i'm going to die in six months to a year. some weird thing, almost nobody has it. all these are experimental.
no, i'm telling you the truth.
i haven't told anybody yet. i don't think i'm going to.
well it's easier with you because i don't know you. i don't feel weird around you. i don't want to be treated like a guy who's going to die.
actually, the reason why i only told you is i need you to do me a favor.
i can't imagine suffering through the final stages of this. so. i was going to ask you if you would be willing. to euthanize me.
kill me. i figured if i found someone that nobody knew that was a stranger, they could get away with it, and i wouldn't have to suffer. i got a gun that is untraceable. and a silencer. and i thought maybe tonight, i would take a bunch of sleeping pills, and when i slept you would put a bullet in my head.
i'll give you fifty thousand dollars in cash. you'd be doing me a favor. it would be the kindest thing you could ever do for somebody.
holy shit, you would do it. you were literally thinking about doing it!
i'm an asshole, you were about to kill me. for fifty grand! that's not even a lot of money.
you basically just told me that you were willing to be a murderer. while you're cooking me eggs.
well, i actually am sick. and i'm not going to survive.
i'm not putting you on, man. just don't tell anyone. i mean that. i don't want people to know about this. i don't want to feel weird. ira nods okay.
do you really think i'm going to sit here and have a theological conversation with you?
maybe later, father mulcahy.
hey. you want to see if we can get on-stage somewhere?
i was thinking about it. i could throw you some money every week for coming up with new jokes for me. maybe you can organize them in the computer, keep track of what i'm doing.
i'll throw you $1500 a week.
i'm just doing stand-up to have fun, forget about it on stage. there's nothing funny about that.
fuck classic stuff. idon't give a shit what people think of my shit when i'm dead. why don't you wait till you're about to die and then you do a bit about it? i'll bet you're about-to-die shit will be funnier than my about-to-die shit.
i ordered your roast beef. and normally it's delicious. but this time i paid a price!
well that's very nice of you. but i have one question for you. can i get two sandwiches? george motions for ira to do something.
this is a family matter! he can hit me if he wants. he's my grandson, and i love him! now may i give you my name, so you have it on file so i can get my free sandwich? k-a-c-a-h-a-k-r-e-k-k-u- c-t-a-r-s-u-t-a-r-g-m-s. did you get that? can you say it back to me?
no, i had a bad night last night. i was sweating though the sheets, couldn't stop. so i got up, watched half of a season of the wire and then i slept till. what time is it now?
i wanted to get up and do something. but i don't think i have it in me. i may just go back to bed.
yeah, i need all sorts of things. but nothing you can get me. you should go up anyway. you were in a groove the other night, you don't want to get rusty.
really? how long you gonna keep that job for? i'm paying you good money. what if someone you perform in front of goes into ralph's and sees you cutting turkey?
i wasn't like you. i had a different theory. you've got to spend money to make money. nothing makes you work harder than being in debt. maybe we should go buy a corvette. that'll make you try to be funnier.
(speaking like an old
i don't know! the thief has the card, why don't you ask the thief the number of the card! george hangs up the phone. he starts dialing.
ah yes, i came into your comedy club tonight and i was very offended by the performer. i did not pay good money to have the so- called "comedian" shake my wife's hand, then smell it and say, "did you have fish for dinner?" that is not my idea of entertainment. ira leaves the room, feeling like he's intruded on a private moment.
no, no. ić¬ don't want to do that.
i don't want to do anything. i just want to be in the moment and live every day the best i can. as soon as i confront it with everybody, everything's changed and i can't get back.
p4y parents would drop dead if i told them what was happening. they're in their 80s. they don't have to go through this. i'll make sure they find out at the last possible second.
i don't think i do. i thought i did. i got a lot of people i know, shoot the shit with, fuck around with. but i realized when this happened i'm not close to anyone. i had no one to call. my friendships are hollywood friendships. when i was lying in bed i couldn't think of one person i wanted to share this with. maybe it's me, maybe i never got close to anybody.
the only reason i did that was because i couldn't sleep. and i had no one to call.
(his eyes begin to well
seriously. i can't. i can't have you do that. george really begins to cry.
please don't do that.
okay, as long as we got that straight. george takes a napkin and puts it over his face.
(his face still in the
i'd rather drop dead. of a heart attack and have someone else make the calls. i have to make those calls? this is a nightmare. this is a total nightmare.
yeah.
so i left the phone off the hook so he could hear me doing it.
admit it, you were masturbating.
and i kept making her talk and say crazy shit just to make him laugh.
i will tell them, but right at the end. i don't want them to go through all this. i can't put them through this.
i wish i was a better brother.
you live so far away. i visited you in kansas a few years ago.
thanks a lot, pal. this is everything i didn't want to happen. it's like being at my own funeral.
no, i won't.
well, i really appreciate you coming by.
exactly. well, i really need to rest.
it was so good to see you. george stands up and exits the room. ira walks over.
i guess so, but.
this is awful. awful. i hate you for having me do this.
well what are we going to do when it's over, when we're done tomorrow? because then i'm not talking to anyone.
thanks for coming down. you didn't have to do that, i appreciate it.
i'm so sorry. i'm sorry for everything i did to you.
i screwed everything up. i could have been married to you now.
we could've had a family . i don't have a family, i'm all alone here.
you know, maybe i deserve it. i screwed up the only good thing that ever happened in my life. i cheated on you. for no reason at all. just young and stupid. and selfish. i'm sorry.
yes you did. angle on: ira sneaking a peak from the kitchen as he makes coffee.
did you leave him?
see, that was my mistake. i should have had some kids with you before i cheated. she laughs.
me too. they cry, forehead to forehead.
i'm so sorry. i really loved you. and i do love you.
don't set me up for jokes like that. you're ruining the moment. she smiles. they hug.
you know, i never got married. i never had kids. i didn't get to do a lot of things i thought i would do. but i was pretty fucking funny, right?
well, i made a lot of people laugh. i guess that's something.
yeah. i guess so. they watch some more and we see a really happy, young george getting big laughs with something really silly.
look at that crazy motherfucker.
i never understood why people hiked before. i think i get it now.
i'm feeling good, so i'm going to the doctor.
no, i'm feeling good. it's kind of weirding me out.
i don't feel sick at all, and it's scaring me. i feel like i'm just going to drop dead. am i not going to feel bad at all, and then one day wake up dead? it's disconcerting.
well what the fuck do i do now?
i really want to thank you for your help through this time.
well, you didn't have to, and you were really there for me. i was thinking, maybe we should write a movie together.
i feel like i've learned a lot, and i wanna use this good place i'm in right now to do something really creative. i would pay you, certainly. i make, you know, about a million dollars to write a script. i can't give you half, but maybe one hundred, two hundred grand, but we'll figure it out.
i thought a lot about my work when i was sick and i'm in sort of a strange place career-wise, because i'm normally the goofy, funny guy and i don't know if people are expecting a change from me. and i think people are expecting me to evolve, and it's important to evolve before they make a point of asking me why i'm not evolving.
is that something they taught you at the deli. i'm not asking you for your advice, i just though we could start trying to come up with an idea.
it's very strange. it's gonna take me a few days to process it, but it's a gift and i'm going to treat it that way.
i learned a lot from being sick and it's gonna help me make some good choices, and be a good person from now on.
it's weird, i feel like the old guy in the room. when i started out i was always the young guy. it's strange how fast you become the old guy. and i feel exactly the same.
i know you, i've watched your show. "'nuff said." it's a good show.
no, it's good, it's cute. i like it.
don't be ashamed, it's good. but what about that girl on the show? how old is she? tell me she's 25.
holy shit! i feel bad. i don't want to tell you what i did watching that show. are you serious? she's 15?
okay, good. now i don't feel so bad. their weird friend, futoran, pipes up.
it's kinda like 9. 11. you know after 9. 11 you kind of liked everybody? but then it went away. it's like that.
i don't believe in any of that stuff, but i was hoping i was headed somewhere. i felt like i was.
well, it's easy to think that way until you're headed for the dirt. then your mind opens up a little bit, you know? maybe it's desperation, or maybe you just start to see more of the big plan. luckily i got a little more time before i find out. daisy pops her head into the room.
may i say the prayer? everyone nods yes.
everyone hold hands. thank you for the gifts this year. thank you for and thank you for and hopefully next year i'll get to screw that girl on mark's show. all our dreams will come true. you guys will get an apartment with less pubic hair on the toilet seat, you'll be able to afford a maid. maybe next year you guys can get a better celebrity than me. maybe wolf blitzer will come. i also pray that no one put their balls on this turkey, i'm kind of scared you guys are about to give me salmonella poisoning. i know this orphan's thanksgiving it's just a normal thanksgiving for you guys, but it's a very special one for me. i'm very glad to be here. i'm not that glad to be here with you, but i thank you for having me. i'm sure it will be very memorable for you. now let's find out what leo's balls taste like.
this guy wrote me some funny jokes for that mac gig. i asked for some jokes and he sent me about a hundred. seriously. this guy sent me jack shit. if you want to succeed you need a work ethic like ira over here.
sure i did. i asked you and ira to write me jokes and you flaked. leo's eyes widen with anger.
ira wrote this joke about leopard, it was really funny. do the joke, ira.
it was like, what's great about. leopard is you can watch a porno, write a porno, shoot a porno, and order a porno all at the same time. this guy's fucking funny. leo jumps up suddenly and walks out of the room without saying anything. ira watches him go, concerned.
you guys look like a cute couple, you should go out.
if i didn't go out with every girl one of my friends slept with.  let me put it another way. if none of my friends went out with girls i went out with, none of them would have gotten laid.
you guys are young, why are you taking everything so seriously? as someone who's been through a lot recently, let me tell you something. the worst thing you can do is hold grudges and be judgmental. everyone's making mistakes, everyone's screwing up. you guys are cute together. george points at mark.
i know that mark's not good in bed. don't tell me he was a good lay. he can't have a big dick. look at ira. he's thick. he's gotta have a thick dick.
see? she's funny. she can take a joke, she's not sensitive. i think i'm falling in love with both of you.
i'm gonna walk away now, causing an awkward moment, that will be followed by a true moment, filled with chemistry. i'm walking away now. let the awkwardness begin. george walks out of the room.
i didn't know you were fucking over your friend. don't yell at me.
he kicked you out for that.
well in a way that's a compliment to me because he's so mad he can't hang out with me that's he mad at you. that's kind of cool. i got you kicked out.
this should be comfortable in here. this room is almost as big as your old apartment.
no problem. hey, you want to come talk to me while i crash?
all right, charlie. talk to me. george closes his eyes.
i was thinking that now might be a good time for me to make that script "making amends."
i got money. i want to challenge myself. you said you liked it.
i thought they did well overseas.
what if i do it for no money, just with back-end?
i'vedone four davey movies.they wantme to do another sequelto that?we don't even have ascript.
could i at least shoot the making amends movie first?
maybe i'll just write something myself.
there's nothing funny about being smart. all comedy comes from immaturity. buster keaton, jerry lewis, the marx brothers, wc fields, bill murray, steve martin, charlie chaplin. they were all immature. they were all knuckleheads. who wants to see a smart guy live his life normally? what's funny about that? what else you got?
i'm thinking about taking a gig, and having a solid hit before getting into breaking new ground.
yeah, if we can come up with an idea.
i can't. i've got a date.
this woman my agent set me up with. she raises money for this environmental group. i guess she's like a normal person. i can't live here alone in this house forever. i need something of significance in my life. so i'm gonna go out on some dates. no pressure.
why would you say that?
that's insulting. don't take out your frustrations on me because you can't get laid by acting like i'm some sort of deviant. i'm an adult. i have adult sexual relationships. no one does what they don't want to do. sex is how people decide if they like each other. i'm testing my compatibility by ass-raping them.
that's not true. i'm bored of sex, anyway. there is literally no body- part. orifice combination i haven't experimented with. there is nothing left to do. there is no nationalities i haven't.slept with, no age groups i haven't slept with. i'm fully ready for normal.
us. canada. mexico. england. france. spain. north korea. burma. rwanda. kenya. tibet. serbia. chechnya. iran. the green zone. darfur. the killing fields of cambodia. mongolia. what about you?
you know, i haven't been out on a blind date, ever. this may be the first one.
what's j date?
so it's just a list of all the jewish people? i thought we didn't liked to be tracked and monitored like that. she looks at him, doesn't get the joke.
you know, because of the.  holocaust.
what if you don't like jews? she just stares at him.
i'm joking. so, uh, i hear you raise uh money for an environmental group. that must be very satisfying.
see? that's why i still drive a big truck. i stop driving that truck and that factory shuts down.
you know what they say about people with a big carbon footprint? big dick.
come on. we're gonna go do a gig tonight. up north. and you're gonna open up for me.
i think two thousand.
twenty minutes. thirty, if you can get there.
dress nice. tickets are expensive.
its near san francisco.
it's not that far. it's like two more movies.
i'd sit up front but the dvd player is back here.
no. i'm near-sighted. i'll miss the exit. we lear an explosion from the movie.
holy shit!
the monster showed himself.
hey, you made it.
you remember ira.
i'm hanging in there.
me too.
now i have no jokes. ira, you have to do an hour and half. she laughs.
come by after and give me the review.
i need you to do something for me. after your set i gave you a seat right next to her. during the intermission i want yq.u to tell her i'm not sick anymore.
because it's weird, and emotional. i think she'll handle it better if it comes from somebody else. and then i can talk to her about it afterwards.
she'll be happy. it's not weird. you're the bearer of good news.
thanks. a lot has happened. and at least i got some good jokes out of it.
ira and i are driving out of town tomorrow, i thought maybe we could stop by your place on our way out. i want to see what the ranch looks like, and meet your husband.
okay. we'll come by in the morning.
here's your money for tonight. good job.
what's the fun in that? you can go pay for your own room, i don't care.
i was young, stupid.  and i liked fucking girls. why do you think i cheated? you would do it too if anyone would fuck you.
two or three times . a week . for a couple of years.
it was awful. there was even marriage talk. my parents didn't want me to do it because she wasn't jewish. she was taking classes to convert, even. i mean, how cool is that? she was changing religions to be with me. she knew more about being a jew than i did from those classes. she was so cute when she spoke hebrew, it sounded so wrong. george says the jewish grand prayer with a waspy accent.
and then one day, somebody told her, i don't know who. and that was that.
i like her. i love her. i miss her. i just want to spend a little time with her. i know nothing will come of it. i just miss being around her. a beat. george starts clicking through video on--demand adult movies.
anything looking good to you?
okay. you want to watch juno?
yeah, of course i am. laura opens the door.
this place is beautiful.
you have horses?
all right, well, we're ready for the big tour. i want to see how you live. suddenly, laura's five-year-old daughter ingrid runs into the room and she's pissed.
she's very pretty. i like your hair.
okay. i do not like your hair.
oh, really? do you like them? which one's your favorite?
sixteen? just fast-forward past the bad parts.
i can't believe i'm saying this, but i agree with paula. i think you're the one to beat. they all applaud. ira notices laura looking at george with admiring eyes that reek of more than friendship.
my turn. get ready to be blown away.
what? it's paradise city, by guns and roses.
ira, laura invited us to stay over for dinner.
don't worry, we'll figure it out. you have something to do in the morning?
then everything will be fine.
this town is so small and adorable. it's like out of a demi moore movie.
it can't be that bad. you live on a pretty little ranch. you have horses, a duck. it must be a nice life.
i couldn't believe you moved out of la. you were getting some good jobs as an actress. you got to play the bitch on melrose place for awhile and make out with andrew shue. that was pretty good. do you miss it?
how do you go crazy?
oh, that must have gotten ugly. how long did that stay awkward for?
maybe you weren't acting on melrose place.
well i don't anymore. i haven't cheated on anybody since you. i haven't even been in a committed relationship since you, so it's impossible for me to have cheated.
i thought a lot about you when i was sick, and i would do anything for another chance. i know it creates a mess, but i think it would be worth it. i think we both know it's what we should be doing. he kisses her.
why?
so? what's wrong with that?
does somebody in your family like sports? they start passionately making out, slamming into the flatscreens.
then let's not do it. she stares at him, trying to figure out what he's become-- is he a good guy or a bad guy?
the town is beautiful.
oh. hello.
well, thank you. you've got a great family and a great home.
sounds like your business is going very well.
uh. i'm hanging in there.
i appreciate that.
it just makes you appreciate every moment. it brings things into focus, you suddenly realize what's important in life.
no, i haven't.
you ever see laura act? she was quite an actress in her day.
it's beautiful here at night.
we probably should get some rest before the drive. all right, show us to our quarters, sir.
i really don't know what to say. i re- ally don't know what to say.
we had sex in clarke's office.
because i love her. she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
she's miserable. he cheated on her.
yeah, but that was a long time ago. i've changed. you saw that douche bag. you don't think he's fucking geishas on every business trip?
this is none of your fucking business. just stay out of it.
this shit is deeper than you understand. people get divorced. people make mistakes and then they fix them. that's how life works. it's not a big deal. i know you're still sad because your parents got divorced. well get the fuck over it. call a fucking cab and go home.
you're gonna sleep in clarke's office. i'm gonna go talk to laura.
on, there you are. i've been looking for you.
are you smoking a joint?
no, that stuff makes me paranoid.
what's happening?
not so loud, your kids are sleeping.
oh my god. really? i mean, this is fun, but i don't know how much i can take. hopefully they'll take a nap at some point. i want to take a nap.
that's great. are you okay doing that?
sure. if i'm not shooting a movie, or on tour or something, that would be great. laura leans in and kisses george. george is not big on public displays of affection. he kisses back, but you can tell that he's very uncomfortable. they hear the kids headed back to the table and quickly separate.
this is a small bookstore. they've only got one philip roth book. didn't he write like fifty books?
she's going to talk to clarke tonight, and then she's going to make a plan. we've got to get over that hurdle.
this is exactly what i wanted.
i mean, she's cool, right?
she was kind of cooler when i knew her back in the day. she's still hot, but she was crazy hot back then. her attitude has changed a bit. with the kids and all. back then she was really sexy, and all about fucking. i know she's busy with her life now, but it is a little different.
well hopefully everything will work out. if it doesn't, it just wasn't meant to be.
it means i'm going to give it a shot. i'm excited, but i'm not going to really know if it works until we're in it. i hope i'm just not in love with the person she used to be.
there's no way to ever be sure that anything's going to work! i couldn't live up here. she wants me to live up here. i don't think i can do it. maybe a couple of weeks a year.
do you think she means that she's going to bring the kids too?
i don't know, don't some men get custody of the kids? or they split the custody? i like the kids, but i've never lived with kids before.
the young one's kind of cute, but i don't think i can stand the old one full time. there's too much going on there. but i could definitely tolerate the young one. she's cute. maybe they can split kids. maybe clarke will take the annoying one. ira just stares at him, not sure what to do.
okay, call me if you need any backup.
i.  . love you. the car drives off.
okay, i'm going to go into the other room and watch some tv.
nah, i was going to watch four hockey games at once. i've never done that.
but you don't smoke.
don't you know how to do it?
where are you, where are you? you have to come back here. i need your help. i don't know how to do this. he walks back to where the kids are. they are watching tv. all around the room are family pictures. he is beginning to feel bad about what is happening.
why would you say that?
laura, it's george. come back to the house. maybe you shouldn't do it. maybe it's too early for this. call the house.
well come back. i don't know how to take care of these kids, i'm not a camp counselor like you. these kids are on to me. the older one's too intense. she's troubled. she's like damien, from the omen. i need help.
she's not happy. clarke punches george in the face then kicks him martial arts style.
you shouldn't joke about my disease. that was very serious. very scary. clarke punches him several times, but they are more like martial arts hits.
what the hell is that? ira arrives. george starts yelling at ira.
don't jump in. whatever you do, don't jump in. i don't want your help!
you said you were getting cigarettes then you ran to the airport to stop her. what kind of friend are you?
i didn't deserve what you did to me. you betrayed me !
don't hit me! i've been sick! they don't know. the medicine is working now, but i'm still sick. clarke punches george.
what are you doing? i said to jump in!
that's what "don't jump in" means. it means "jump in." help me! ira steps in. clarke hits him hard, then kicks him.
you're a terrible fighter.
laura, tell clarke to stop!
laura, tell him. tell him you want to be with me now. laura doesn't answer.
laura?
laura, what's it going to be? are you going with him, or are you going with me? laura looks at clarke.
don't do this.
you cheated on her too!
she told me i was the love of her life. and she loves me more than she loves you!
yeah!
stop ira, you're hitting me too. mable and ingrid appear outside.
we're wrestling. it's fun.
no. we were just painting. i got some paint on my cheek.
none of you fuckers can hurt me. george pauses, then leaps onto ira and they roll on the ground for a moment. ira makes his-way free and gets up.
drive me home.
how are you gonna get home then?
oh yeah?
what about you? you are just a lackey. who are you to judge me? you tried to screw me over, after all i. have done for you.
lacky.
it's not a job, you're a tacky. you're not even that fucking funny. this gets ira very mad.
mission accomplished.
i'm not going anywhere!
who are you to fucking judge anyone? you're not my friend, you just want my money. you just want to get your foot in the door.
wake me when we get home. george climbs in the back seat and tries to go to bed.
why didn't you drive me to my house?
you'll drop it off later.
so that's how it's going to be.
hey, how's it going?
this is randy. he's funny, you'd like his stuff. it's smart.
no, that's ok. i don't want to take ira's spot. i'm just gonna hang out tonight.
do you have any turkey that's hormone-free?
so this is where you work.
i thought we were writing a screenplay.
or any kind of partner. you want to make me a turkey sandwich and talk to me? they give you breaks around here?
in my travels, i have learned a lot about asia and buddhism. and i would like to be in the moment now with you, and to tell you how sorry i am, and how much i have appreciated your friendship. and even if we are not friends in the future, i wish you well on your journey. ira laughs.
but also kind of cool. it's a very weird combination.
i think most of what you said to me was true. and i really am sorry. i think i'm still not very healthy. in my brain.
well, i appreciate you trying to help me. even though it was kind of an impossible task.
i am not doing well, but things have certainly been worse. so, i will be fine.
really? any new jokes you're working on?
what do you got? ira is surprised to hear him ask this, since he has never asked this before.
you should do something about how, when you date a girl, and you feel really good and she likes you, and then you see pictures of all her ex- boyfriends, and they're all really goofy-looking guys, and it's not that you're good looking, it's just that in this psychotic girl's eyes, you're good looking?
why don't you say dom deluise? it's a more current reference.
okay, okay. what else you got?
you should say, now when i masturbate, i have to think about the last time i masturbated.
you know, i always wanted to be part of the comedy field. as the camera pulls back, george continues to pitch ira jokes for his act, the first selfless act we've seen him commit in the entire film. as their friendship rekindles, we.