yeah, something about how the uglier you are, the better the personality you need. and the hotter you are, the stupider you can be.
maybe something like.  you can be hot and stupid and survive in the world. and you can be smart and ugly and survive in the world. the people who have trouble are the stupid, ugly people.
let me keep that one, because i thought of most of it.
i've got nothing in the notebook. i got drunk last night. but i need material, because i just got spots at the improv. budd saw me and approved me. i'm in.
sorry, man. they're only going to let in one chubby, caustic jew, so i think you're fucked. their other roommate, mark, walks in, waves a check at them.
don't throw it in our face that you're on a shitty show.
that was good, right? some of the new stuff worked.
are you serious? shit - i've got a spot at the improv, i cant hang out, damn.
they put it on the main page at youtube and it exploded. which would be awesome if someone would pay me. the phone rings.
holy shit. that is awesome. you are so lucky.
we are gonna have his email address? i have to send him the link to my short.
i got one, but you have to tell him its mine. the best thing about leopard is it lets you watch a porno, write a porno, shoot a porno, and order a porno all at the same time. and you guys made that possible. we see quick images of him typing and printing. he is writing an enormous amount of jokes. way more than george will ever need. writing, typing, re-writing in pen, then re- typing, etc. ira hesitates, then hits send.
can we go outside and meet him?
i'll just go outside and pretend i'-,n washing my car. the limo pulls up outside.
holy shit. i feel like my little girl is going to the prom.
if it was me, i would tell everyone. then everyone would kiss my ass. and take care of me. tell me how much they love me.
that's kind of insulting.
like how to bang two chicks in the same night, even though you have a terminal disease?
i don't want to talk about this shit until i'm 80. i'm 24 years old.
you have to go through fire to get to heaven? that wasn't him going to heaven, that was him going to hell.
i just fucking killed at the improv. bud freidman fucking loves me. leo realizes he's walked into the middle of an awkward moment.
well, that's because they think if they book you, george will show up.
i really did kill. did you guys just bone, or something?
i'm getting a little vibe here. it's getting me excited.
he's not gonna email back.
he called us faggots!
hey, george. how are you? come on in. then mark appears from the side, also sweaty, with a welt on his neck.
we're really glad you could come have thanksgiving with us. it's a big thrill.
did you think you were gonna go to heaven? did you count up your sins?
why wouldn't i have sent you jokes? you didn't ask me for jokes.
you're a fucking prick, you're a piece of shit thief motherfucker. you stole a job from me, you stole my joke.
he asked for me to write jokes too and you didn't tell me!
you .fucker!
why wouldn't i want to? what, i don't like money? i don't like private jets?
it wasn't yours to keep for yourself. you lied to me.
don't say anything. just get your shit, and get out of the apartment.
you don't get let off the hook for going into faggy apology mode. that is a terrible strategy.
i don't know what the fuck has happened to you--but my name is on the lease, and i don't want to live with it.
we rented out your room to jay. but you can crash on the couch if you want.