i used to drive a taxi.
i used to drive a taxi.
very big.
what did you find?
i loved my taxi. went twelve hours nonstop. stopped only to pee. i peed under the manhattan bridge. peed many times in parks and playgrounds.
i hear alan's sick.
you know about adele.
she's dying.
i talked to her two days ago.
our peter?
can he get through it?
i've got bigger problems, joanna. personal problems.
about what?
look. all i want is a haircut. i'm not worried about this guy.
they can send their heartless brilliant boy-critic. there's a much bigger thing going on than tonight's opening.
the red sox
three games to two. but if you know their history, you realize there's a tragedy in the making. i've been carrying this franchise on my back since i was six years old.
if you have a team you've followed all your life, and they raise your hopes and crush them, and lift them and crush them, do you want me to tell you what it's like? it's like feeling your childhood die over and over. j
this is how we've managed to last.
in and out of bed.
we don't even like each other, do we?
the red sox blow a chance to win their first world series since 1918. you expect me to miss that for an opening night?
it's all worked out. they'll lose tonight. then they'll lose tomorrow. i see it with stunning clarity.
they'll lose because they're my team.
i wrapped my sandwiches in tinfoil. i ate and drove. i had one of those big checkered cabs.
crosstown.
i cleaned out the ashtrays religiously.
laurel, stay there. keep the meter running. and try to stay abreast.
i never see you anymore. where are you all day?
do you want to get some coffee?
what do you want to talk about? i'll talk about anything. what's this?
why do you need a radio?
that's completely crazy.
don't talk like that. how prominent? what are you implying?
and he hears it the same time i hear it? what happened to family secrets?
abulhassas, we'll be getting out here.
hello george. you're so healthy and thick-bodied i want to punch you in the chest. this is my daughter laurel. just to hear the sound it makes.
that means they're getting ready to kill me.
if lawyers for the mob are called controversial, why are divorce lawyers called prominent?
i just had breakfast with her. she didn't say a word about this.
don't be so steely-eyed. it's that course you're taking in criminology.
you're too young to be studying criminal behavior. it's making you obsessive.
your mother and i have something between us that's too strong to damage permanently. believe me, i know this. that's right, nineteen years. and what about the days and minutes? sharing small moments, sharing memories, raising a beautiful child. we're wedded in the deepest and strongest ways. lillian isn't only my wife. she's my best friend.
don't call her mother all the time. it makes her sound tragic and unforgiving. what happened to mom?
this person and i are a thing of the total past. i promise you.
it's life, it's taxis. people trying to make contacts, make deals, meet their lovers. taxis are sexy. you can't have manhattan without taxis. i was proud of my taxi. i kept my taxi clean.
i don't want to hear about it.
shut up, elliot.
you're an artist. i'm a craftsman.
ride with me. we need a haircut.
she wants a divorce.
it's over, finished and done with.
i'm completely stunned. i don't want this to happen.
don't needle me, elliot. tell me how bad you feel. we're suppose to feel bad together. this is what friends do.
what do you mean, we must abandon?
we must abandon.
do not inhale.
very dangerous.
we must abandon.
i'm trying to think. when did you start looking so terrible? you look awful.
you used to love life. you don't exude this any more.
suffering. you exude a person who sits in a small dark apartment eating soft white bread.
tonight. what's tonight?
you mean because what's-his-name.
it's just a review.
what's the fuss? i don't get it.
what happened eighteen months ago?
and he was there?
that's awful.
a year and a half later? you're still brooding?
what's good?
i hate the mets.
when the mets lose, they just lose. it's a flat feeling. but the red sox -- here we have a rich history of interesting ways to lose a crucial game. defeats that keep you awake, that pound in your head like the hammer of fate.
you can analyze a red sox defeat day and night for a month and still uncover layers of complex feelings - - feelings you didn't know you were capable of. the pain has a memory all of it's own.
what do you mean?
why?
what was it like?
you've worked with elliot?
there was a review.
so does elliot.
oh. you know him.
and he has finer moments now and then.
endearing.
elliot wants to kill him with a railroad spike.
say it again.
you know what.
one more time.
do we care?
i say we go.
do not inhale.
here we go.
i don't have the problems that artists have.
what?
don't wait efor me.
you keep slipping away. how do you do that?
i was all noise. played the radio loud. battled constantly with my brother and sister. here i am, world.
so do i. over and over.
would you like to meet him?
i'm trying to prolong our afternoon. in case you haven't noticed.
is it true?
he wears a disguise.
but you're his friend.
aybe we ought to postpone the opening.
appreciate that, sidney. but our leading man can't remember his lines. and his understudy can't carry the play.
hat was this morning.
'm not worried about this kid.
postpone. we have every right.
i've had three straight washouts, sidney.
sidney remains optimistic.
sidney fabrikant. our producer.
yes.
yes, peter.
you have to see the words. try to build a mental picture of the script. imagine your lines high- lighted with a felt tip pen.
what was your favorite color crayon, growing up?
mine was cobalt blue.
yes.
yes.
and the father replies?
this could be it.
i don't know.
where are you going now?
someone waiting for you?
there's a certain kind of wounded young man who uses his oddness to get laid. is that our steven?
so everything. that's so what. so i begin to hate him. so i want to do him grave harm.
i know you both. enough. how much knowledge does it take before a man does something crazy.
yes.
what? come on, paisley.
yes.
i'm actually beginning to enjoy this.
laurel. tickets are all set. i double-checked.
opening night?
take it yourself. take a date.
and you blame me. it's because we never talk. let's talk.
can we talk later? will you be at the party?
i'll find you. after the show. somewhere.
i never left the garage without my windex.
i drove twelve hours straight through. ate at the wheel.
that's the drama. we're waiting for life to continue. where do you pee, ibrahmin?
that's where i peed.
i'm at the door.
pop, will you let me in?
right here. at the door.
it's me. nicky.
where are your glasses? go get them.
i'm on my way to get a haircut.
across ninth avenue. dodgie's. where you've been getting your hair cut for fifty years. where uncle billy and uncle marty got their hair cut. where jim rorty shot a man for cheating at poker.
it's a constant shock to me, how small this place is. how did we do it? five people in these little rooms.
we must have been heroic.
lillian says it once a week. `why doesn't he come live with us?'
i do know the answer to that. why don't we watch the ball game later? we'll go to mannion's.
of course they're gonna lose. we'll watch them lose. what good is heartbreak if we don't experience it firsthand?
remember 1949? last two games of the season. against the yankees. the sox lost on saturday. then they lost on sunday. first i cried for twenty-four hours. then i had fist- fights the rest of the week.
it's all connected, pop. it's one life. baseball is memory. how do fathers and sons show their love? they go to a ball game together. thirty-five years later, they sit in the kitchen and remember.
i could have grown up happy. a yankee fan. a divorce lawyer.
you'll need these. tonight. for the play.
hey, pop. i know you don't like the commotion of opening night. but i especially want you to see this play. it's new territory for me. and for you too. i have to know what you think.
let's not start that again.
where's your elastic brace?
you're suppose to wear it when your back gives you trouble.
i'll go get you another one. you have to wear it.
be right back. take a good look at me.
i know, pop.
i think the building's okay. at least for the time being.
normal boy's ambition. i like coming back. you know that.
i was in a hurry to do big things, make big mistakes. any mistakes were okay as long as it was big. but i'm trying to see these things clearly and honestly. that's the play they're going to kill starting tonight. there's a guy out there getting ready to rip it apart. and that's us. who we were and where we come from.
what do you want me to do?
he carries a gun.
i used to carry a gun when i drove a cab.
i gave it away. i thought, i'm a writer now.
we're making too much of this.
i'm not a lonely spooky writer like you. nursing a hundred grudges. i'm a man who loves life.
in other words why should we suffer silently at this kind of abuse? the man is out there ruining lives.
he'll hate it.
we were thinking of putting in a pool.
what?
shoot him.
shoot him, nicky. not that we really mean it. but where does he live?
how do you eknow.
what do you mean?
had to be him.
i'm enjoying this more every minute.
elegant and refined.
i loved my taxi. a checkered cab. big and rumbly.
everybody else does. why not you?
oh yeah?
some little kid stole the hubcaps.
call me frankie. and it looks like we're going nowhere.
how come you got the kid with you?
a grandmother. god bless you.
it's the kid's lucky day.
now that's a complicated subject.
look, we're stuck here front and back. it's dinnertime for you, game time for me. let's park the cab and go to mannion's. what do you say, matthew? we'll drink beer and talk baseball.
georgie.
are you absolutely sure?
this place becomes famous. tour buses. blind people feeling around for bullet holes in the wall.
what am i doing?
hey, toyota. he asked me a question.
that's my cousin, angelo.
i respect a kid who does his homework in a taxi. but let's put a lid on the questions.
it's complicated. it's a whole life. a person doesn't commit an act of violence out of nowhere. there are strong forces at work.
wife and daughter. my father's still alive.
i don't know toyota. what does he do?
it's a complicated subject.
two-all after six.
we stranded five runners in the first two innings. this will come back to haunt us.
all right. what's been going on?
how prominent?
i'll have whatever she's having.
bring me the bay scallops with mercury poisoning.
get the hell out of here. i don't want you bringing our food. send a real waiter.
opening night, lillian.
the whole thing is my fault. i took unfair advantage of your patience and understanding. you understand me.
and you've been extremely patient.
you smoked because i smoked. we were falling in love, remember? i used to see certain movies only because you had seen them. i wanted to see what you saw.
i went because you went. you smoked because i smoked.
laurel wants us to be honest and open. let's be open with each other.
there may be things you'd rather not know about.
i had an affair -- are you sure you want to hear this?
alma wetzel.
i'm a man. she's, you know, a woman.
i am really, deeply sorry.
it was an animal thing. no real intimacy.
we did it in the office. she thought her apartment was too impersonal.
i feel great. i feel impeccably alive. i'm elated. eat something. please. i love you.
they're always winning. until they lose.
winning is easy. losing is complicated. it's a lifetime's work.
he's a twenty-four-game winner. he pitches seven solid innings. we scratch out a one-run lead. of course he gets a blister. of course they put up greenwell even though baylor's sitting on the bench. of course greenwell strikes out.
"it looked extremely rocky for the boston nine that day."
i want to believe.
i want to say it because my whole life may depend on these next few moments.
life is good.
life is good.
i don't know.
i don't know if i can say that.
let's see what henderson does.
finally, i get a waiter who doesn't know "macbeth".
you know-
baseball is life.
enjoy your ice cream, kid. when you're an old man it'll come back to you. the same deep sweet soft toothy taste. and you'll remember where you were and what you saw.
this is something no one has been privileged to see in almost seventy years. very few people now alive can say that they have seen what you are about to see, matthew. the red sox win a world series. this is deeply, intensely personal. all the mistakes i've made, all the envy, fear and violence that's encased in this little envelope we call a person -- all washed away in the next few minutes. and your grandmother knows why.
he used to love losers. but the laws of physics changed.
backman flies to rice. it's like a beautiful song lyric.
all the times i died when the red sox lost an important game they should have won. all the awful things i said to my mother and father. to tmy wife and daughter.
because life is good.
all the failures, all the fatalism.
one more out.
one more out. one more out.
one more little out. a nubber. a pop-up. all year long, thousands of outs. we want one more little out.
it's a test all right. they're bringing in stanley.
it's stanley. it's the steamer. fate has spoken to this man in the depths of the night.
a thousand things.
this could be it!
this could be it!
life is real.
great game.
classic.
have to hurry back.
eleventh inning. what else?
what are you talking about?
yes. what are you implying?
you're not making sense.
of course i saw it.
you're not making sense. make sense.
you're implying i missed something. what did i fmiss?
baseball is life. life is good.
i used to go to the movies all the time.
these wives named lillian. i used to say to her, `you don't kick a door once or twice and expect it to open. it's only in the movies a man can kick in a door with such amazing ease. because a real door requires a tremendous and prolonged pounding before it finally gives way.' he's a great player. how could that ball go through his legs?
laurel.
ste-vennnn schwim-merrrr!
this is my daughterrrrr!
go home, laurel. tell your mother i will be late.
you're going to die. you're a dead man. you're dead.
look. i'm sorry you keep running into dishonest men. but you're only eighteen. we can still turn it around.
i'll see you all the time. i'll get a place right nearby. one room. no distractions. we'll talk.
you're dead!
everything.
there's nothing left for me to lie about.
you're dead. i see you on a morgue slab drained of all fluids.
i see the outline of your body in chalk on this very floor.
why does it matter?
why do you care?
no. they're not your team. they're my team.
i went to college in boston so i could be near the red sox. i took summer classes and the cut them to go to the game. my wife is from boston. lillian ziegler?
if you're such a devoted fan, why were you at the play tonight instead of the game? answer carefully. this is important. you could have gone to the theater last night. there was no game last night.
i was six years old the day pesky hesitated throwing home and slaughter scored all the way from first. that's when i knew the red sox were my team. pity and terror.
what about my play?
and you're not saying that because of the gun in my hand?
we worked very hard on the pauses.