i thought chipmunk-face was never going to shut up.
it's totally sickening. (she unrolls her
what?
why?
you loser.
this is so bad, it's almost good.
unless they're in your summer school class!
uh oh.  don't turn around.
forget it.
i know, she needs to die immediately.
oh.  hi.
yep.
we have other plans.
how perfect.
good.
hi.
why?
so, when are we going to start looking for our apartment?
did you sign up yet?
god, it's so weird that we're finally out of high school.  we've been waiting for this our whole life! now we can get our own apartment and do anything we want. it's such a weird feeling.
hey, look, the satanists are leaving!
totally.  oh my god, look!
much later.
what do you do if you're a satanist, anyway?
that lets us off the hook.
or maybe not.
okay, okay!
god, it's so totally pathetic.
who can forget this great hit from the 50's?
check out the awesome "fifties" hairdo on the waiter.
can we call you "weird al"?
i might actually get the pasta special.
i know.  and instead of "dessert" it says "mindbenders."
check out the personals.  maybe our future husbands are trying to contact us.
you can have that one.
gross.
god, that's so pathetic. i bet she didn't even notice him.
we should call him and pretend to be the redhead.
isn't it weird? it's her favorite.
so what should we do?
what is this?
wait, what is that?
you lent it to me in like tenth grade.
what a little hosebag.
i remember every minute of that party.
i can never keep them all straight - was she the super-bitch?
oh my god! this is that comedian i was telling you about! you have to see this guy -- he's the absolute worst!
god, that's barely even a joke.
i want to do him!
what are you talking about -- who?
fuck you!
hey! we forgot to call the loser!
you know, the green cardigan guy.
you call.
you're better at it.
what does it stand for?
look at this!
please josh?
so josh, if this guy freaks out, will you protect us?
i know, look at the way he drives.  he's like an old man.
look, maybe that's him!
i want to "make love" to him.
shut up!
oh my god, look, that's got to be him!
what exactly is a cardigan anyway?
oh my god!
i can't believe it!
what's going on now? what's he doing?
what's he doing now?
i wish i could see him.
do you think he knows?
are you sure?
we should follow him home.
god, he lives right in our neighborhood!
i know.  wouldn't you be totally pissed off?
he won't see us.  we'll just stalk him from a distance.
the w.c. fields fan club newsletter.  oh my god, the national psoriasis foundation!
wait! do you hear that?
what should we do? what if he recognizes us?
gross!
ew, it's like some gross rat.
mm.
that was truly pathetic.
he was so excited when you bought that record -- you're a saint!.  god, these apartments are super expensive.
what about the "striking redhead in the yellow dress"?
he should totally just kill himself.  hey, here's one . oh wait.  you have to share it with a non smoking feminist and her two cats.
that guy is many things but he definitely isn't "cool".  this one would be okay, but there's no kitchen.
not really.
we're looking for an apartment.
somewhere downtown.
"funky"?
i've been thinking about when we look for our apartment how we have to try and convince people that we're like these totally rich yuppies.
that's who people want to rent to. it's a known fact that it's way easier to get a job and everything if you're rich.  all we have to do is buy a few semi-expensive outfits and act like it's no big deal.  it'll be fun.
just promise you'll do it.
when did you do that?
did you have to buy new hair dye or did you still have some left over from eighth grade?
it's always closed.
where are we going?
"hassle"?
there he is.
waiting for the bus that never comes.
why don't you ask him.
josh!
i'll bet he never jerks off.
should we leave a note?
you're not really going to leave that are you?
why are we going here? i hate this place.
what was that all about?
i didn't get it either.
how about this one?
ew .  when did you get that?
god, aren't you tired of seymour yet?
how about this?
we have to do something fun tonight this is my last weekend of freedom before i start my stupid job.
what? where?!
i don't believe you.
i totally, totally hate you.
yes.
melorra.
wait.
can i get you a biscotti to go with that?
where did you get that?
where?
no way.  when?
you cunt!
he does that every single day.
can i get you a.
i don't know.  some people are okay, but mostly i feel like poisoning everybody.
he's a total asshole.  he doesn't even need that wheelchair, he's just totally lazy!
no, it doesn't. you'll see.  you get totally sick of all the creeps and losers and weirdos.
yeah, well.  so when are you going to get your job?
like what?
god, i can't believe you went to anthony's without me.
you don't have to make a million dollars -- just get any stupid job so we can at least start looking for an apartment.
you hang out with me because nobody else can stand to be around you.
you're gross. see that guy?
he gives me a total boner!
okay, you're right.
thanks.
you're just jealous.
face it, you hate every single boy on the face of the earth!
haven't you heard about the miracle of masturbation?
get away from me!
are you kidding? it's a dream job! i can't believe you got a job like that without even trying.  god, i wish that was my job.
when are you finally going to get your diploma?
anyway, now we can start looking for the apartment.  do you remember when we first came up with that whole idea of renting our own apartment?
seventh.  you wanted to move out right then!
i remember our big plan was as soon as we got the apartment we were going to trick daniel dusentrieb into coming over and then fuck him.
what are you talking about? what kind of loser gets fired after one day?!
this is it? i can't believe you're selling some of this stuff.
oh my god, i remember this hat.  this was during your little old lady phase.
what was that all about? i thought everything must go!
oh my god, you're selling that?
now are you going to get a regular job?
if it makes you feel any better, i don't think you could've gotten more than ten bucks for all this stuff.
do you want to do something tonight?
well, are we still going shopping tomorrow?
since when can you make a cake?
go ahead.
god, you're really obsessed.
i thought we decided that josh was way too cool to be interested in sex, and that he's the only decent person left in the world and we would never want to bring him down to our level and all that.
no matter what happened it would be a big disaster.  let's just try and keep everything the way it is.
look, we have to get these.
i'm sick of waiting - we need to start getting stuff if we're ever going to move. aren't these the greatest towels?
don't you want nice stuff?
you don't have to. i'll pay for all the stuff right now and you can pay me back when you finally get a job.
do you still want to go to that thing tonight?
that guy's band is playing tonight.  alien autopsy.
god, i'm so sick of seymour.
hello?
what happened to seymour?
how repulsive!
actually, i'm just about to go out with some friends.
just some people from work.
yeah well, you said you were busy.  look, i'd better get going.  i'll call you tomorrow.
goddammit, bitch -- where are you?
it's a totally normal, average neighborhood!
josh says this is a really good neighborhood.
he came into work.
nothing.
i don't know! god, don't act so jealous i only talked to him for two minutes.
twenty-seven fifty-three.  do you see it? that must be it.
what?! it looks totally normal.  what's wrong with it?
oh yeah, i can tell you really love it!
there's something wrong with every single place we look at! why don't you just come right out and tell me you don't want to move in with me?!
you're the psycho! you haven't been able to deal with anything since high school ended!
fuck you! have fun living with your dad for the rest of your life!
hello?
i don't know.  i was thinking maybe i should live alone. i decided to rent that place we looked at. i'm moving in next week.
i don't know - i'm not sure it's a good idea.
but how are you gonna pay rent and everything? you don't even have a job.
so, whaddya think?
so where's all your stuff?
that's all you're bringing?
what time?
make sure you're here by noon - we have tons of stuff to do.  oh yeah! i have to show you something else!
isn't this the greatest?
what's wrong with you, retard - it's three-thirty!
she's not at home?
what the fuck is she doing?! she was supposed to be here three hours ago!
are you sure she wasn't there? maybe she was just hiding from you.
i don't know.  where is she, then?
josh!? why would she be with josh?
why? what did she tell you?
what? is she having some secret affair with josh?
why wouldn't she tell me? there's no way! she could never keep that to herself.  you're crazy.
that slut!
yeah, she thinks you're a dork.
look, what do you expect? considering how we met you.
on that pathetic fake blind date.
didn't she ever tell you about that? god, she really is pathological.
here. read it and weep.
oh, hi.  i almost didn't recognize you -- i think i need to get glasses; you're all blurry!
actually, he's a really nice guy.
do you want anything?
wow.  finally.
yeah, just one second.
did you remember to pay the phone bill?
call me sometime.