he turns to camera and talks to his viewers in a suavely engaging tone, understated and intimate.
hi, welcome back to the 'world of the psychic,' i'm peter venkman and i'm chatting with my guest, author, lecturer and of course, psychic, milton anglund. milt, your new book is called the end of the world. isn't that kind of like writing about gum disease. yes, it could happen, but do you think anybody wants to read a book about it?
okay, so can you tell us when it's going to happen or do we have to buy the book?
this year? that's cutting it a little close, isn't it? i mean, just from a sales point of view, the book just came out, right? so you're not even looking at the paperback release for maybe a year. and it's going to be at least another year after that if the thing has movie-of-the-week or mini-series potential. you would have been better off predicting 1992 or even '94 just to be safe.
well, for your sake, i hope you're right. but i think my other guest may disagree with you. elaine, you had another date in mind?
valentine's day. that's got to be a bummer. where did you get that date, elaine?
your alien had a room in the holiday inn?
no, you can't, and i think that's the whole problem with aliens; you just can't trust them. you may get some nice ones occasionally like starman or e.t., but most of them turn out to be some kind of lizard. anyway, we're just about out of time. next week on 'world of the psychic,' hairless pets. until then, this is peter venkman saying .  .  good night.
where do you find these people? i thought we were having the telekinetic guy who bends the spoons?
skeptical! norman, i'm a pushover. i think professional wrestling is real.
what's all this?
the mayor! he's a friend of mine.
lenny!
lenny! it's pete venkman!
yeah, you can get your hand off my chest.
i'm an old friend of the mayor's. i just want to say hello to him.
no, that's what i want to talk to the mayor about. we did a little job for the city a while back and we ended up getting sued, screwed and tattooed by deskworms like you.
okay, i get it. but i want you to tell lenny that, because of you, i'm not voting for him.
oh, hello, perhaps you could help me. i'm looking for an aerosol love potion i could spray on a certain penthouse pet that would make her unconditionally submit to an unusual personal request.
so, no goat hooves, huh?
nowhere -- fast. why don't you lock up and buy me a sub?
egon!
how've you been? how's teaching? i bet those science chicks really dig that big cranium of yours, huh?
i don't even want to know where that is.
great. so what are you guys working on?
who?
oh, ray --
who? who? who?
who, ray?
hi, dana.
i knew you'd come crawling back to me.
you know, dana, i'm very very hurt that you didn't call me first. i'm still into all this stuff, you know. haven't you ever seen my show?
i can see that you're still very bitter about us, but in the interest of science, i'm going to give it my best shot. let's go to work, boys.
so what happened to mr. right? i hear he ditched you and the kid and moved to europe.
he ditched you. you should've married me, you know.
men are very sensitive, you know. we need to feel loved and desired, too.
i may have a few personal problems but one thing i am is a total professional.
what are you going to do, egon? knit him a snowsuit?
yeah, you would. is that for personal or professional reasons?
okay, kid. up you go.
help! please somebody help me! get him off! quickly! he's gone completely berserk!
there's no doubt about it. he's got his father's looks. the kid is ugly -- extremely ugly. and smelly. you stink! it's just horrible. you are the stinkiest baby i ever smelled. what's his name?
oscar! you poor kid!
unusual? i don't know. i haven't had a lot of experience with babies.
i'll supervise.
well, holmes, what do you think?
what now, brainiac?
finding something abnormal on the street shouldn't be too hard.
brings back a lot of sweet memories, doesn't it? there's our old cash machine. and the dry cleaners we used to go to. and the old video store. we really had some good times, didn't we?
okay, let's take a look.
what's that?
i knew that.
you mean like the time you got possessed and turned into a monster terror dog? no, not a chance. total coincidence. am i right?
i love this. we're onto something really big. i can smell it, ray. we're going to make some headlines with this one.
relax. we're going to keep this whole thing nice and quiet, low key, no profile.
what the hell's it look like we're doing? we're bustin out asses over here 'cause some douchebag downtown ain't got nothin' better to do than make idiots like us work late on a friday night, right?
you need the exercise.
what, i got time for this? we got three thousand phones out in the village and about eight million miles of cable to check.
i told ya!
gas leak?
you are personally responsible. if i can get conjugal rights, will you visit me at sing sing?
don't worry about me. i'm like a cat.
i'm el gato. i always land on my feet.
thanks.
yes, i did. we were city champs.
no, i think you've helped them enough already.
seventy-seventh and first avenue has so many holes already we didn't think anyone would notice.
sorry, your honor, but when somebody sets me up like that i can't resist.
i had my fingers crossed when they swore me in, but i'm going to tell you the truth. there are things in this world that go way beyond human understanding, things that can't be explained and that most people don't want to know about anyway. that's where we come in.
no, i guess i'm just saying that shit happens and somebody has to deal with it.
who are they?
maybe they just want to appeal.
these boys aren't playing around.
geez, i forgot how heavy these things are.
hey! why don't you pick on someone your own size?
spengs, take the door. ray, let's try and work them down and into the corner.
occupado.
case closed, boys. we're back in business.
i'm peter --
hold on, ray! half-price! have you gone crazy?
you know he ran that last lap in under six minutes?
i'm looking for dana barrett.
thanks. what's the other one?
yeah, really great. take it easy.
so this is what you do, huh?
you're really good, you know.
unaware that he's being watched, venkman squints at the still life, holding up his thumb like he's seen artists do.
you know you can go to art world and get these huge sofa-size paintings for about forty-five bucks.
as a matter of fact, i stopped by to tell you that i haven't forgotten your problem and that we're still on the case.
how are you? what's that you're working on, johnny?
too bad for the moldavians.
yeah, it's not the kind of thing you'd want to hang in the rec room. you know what it needs? a fluffy little white kitten in the corner.
well, i'd make an exception in this case if i were you.
i'll let you get back to it. nice meeting you.
i may be wrong, but i think you've got a little crush on this guy.
i'd like to stay, but i really don't have time to hang around here. i'll call you. later, johnny!
it's not that thing you do with your nostrils, is it?
and now you're going to eat it?
this is what you do with your spare time?
'mood slime.' we ought to bottle this stuff and sell it.
what kind of tests?
you're not sleeping with this stuff, are you?
he stares in disbelief at the dancing toaster as it shoots two pieces of toast into the air and catches them without missing a beat.
i don't care what you say. this could be a major christmas gift item.
so we'll put a warning on the label.
go ahead. i dare you.
just kidding.
no, i just got in -- a couple hours ago. come on in. are we having a pajama party?
you know, if anyone else told me that, i'd have serious doubts. but coming from you, i can't honestly say i'm surprised.
who could blame him? were you wearing this nightgown?
i'll get ray and egon to check out the bathtub. you better stay here.
now this kid has a serious nudity problem.
this is joe namath's old number, you know. you could get a lot of chicks with this. just don't pee in it.
we'll take care of that. ray, pete. listen, get over to dana's right away .  her bathtub pulled a fast one -- tried to eat the kid.
sounds like another slime job .  no, they're all right. they're here now .  right .  let me know.
they're going over there right now. you might as well make yourself at home. let me show you around. this is the cuisine de maison --
we may have to wash some of these if you get hungry -- -- but there's no food anyway so forget about it. i have all kinds of carry-out menus if you feel like ordering.
bathroom's right here -- let me just tidy up a few things.
the shower works but it's a little tricky. they're both marked "hot." it takes a little practice, but at least this one won't try and eat you.
be careful on that sofa -- it's a butt-biter. but the bed's good and i just changed the sheets so if you get tired, feel free. in fact, i think you should definitely plan on spending the night here.
for me it's best if i sleep on my side and you spoon up right behind me with your arms around me. if we go the other way i'm afraid your hair will be getting in my face all night.
or we could do that.
i'll put him down for you. you are way too short! and your belly-button sticks out! you're nothing but a burden to your poor mother!
did you find anything at dana's?
a hundred and five years? he really hung on, didn't he.
that's it? "i'll be back?"
we're just going up to restorations for a minute.
okay, we were trying to keep this quiet but i think you can be trusted. tell him, ray.
i know.
we got a major creep alert and we're just going down the list. your name was first.
you know, i never got to ask you. where you from, johnny?
we'll know when we find it. you just sit tight. this won't take long.
this is the one that looked at dana.
i'm going to rule out the glue-sniffing theory. if she says it looked at her, it looked at her. hey, you! vigie! look at me. i'm talking to you. hey! look at me when i'm talking to you.
beautiful, beautiful. work with me, baby. just have fun with it. okay, he's playing it cool. let's finish up and get out of here.
not. don't leave town and report any change in your address to the proper authorities. we'll be back.
yeah, that's a safe bet. you and spengman see what else you can dig up on vigo and this little weasel poha. those two were made for each other.
you just picked up three penalty points on your driver's license.
watch him, egon. don't even let him shave.
i'm home!
i knew it. she cleaned.
are you all squeaky clean now?
nothing. they stayed there all night, went through your personal stuff, made a bunch of long-distance phone calls and cleaned out your refrigerator. and didn't find anything.
now you get dressed and we go out. i got a babysitter and everything. trust me, you need it.
it's janine melnitz, from my staff. she's one of my most valuable employees.
janine melnitz, are you kidding? do i have a vase? i brought some of your clothes. wear something intriguing. i brought along some interesting possibilities.
did you happen to see some shirts on the floor in here?
i have a hamper? next time ask me first, okay. i have more than two grades of laundry. there're lots of subtle levels between clean and dirty.
these aren't so bad yet. you just hang them up for a while and they're fine.
don't tell me, let me guess. all-you-can-eat barbecue rib night at the sizzler?
darn it! i wish i'd known you were going. i'm stuck with these damn dinner reservations.
roach breeding? sounds better and better. dana? the boys are going down under the sewers tonight to look for slime. egon thinks there might even be some kind of big roach-breeding surge. should we forget about dinner and go with them instead?
i think we're going to have to pass on the sewer trip, boys. let me know what you find out.
here's to -- us.
so -- are you making any new year's resolutions?
does that start exactly at midnight tomorrow, or could you hold off for a few days maybe?
all right, you want to be real? so tell me why did you dump me?
i'm not even good for me.
thank you. if i had that kind of support on a daily basis, i could definitely shape up by the turn of the century.
let me jingle you right now.
don't worry. janine has a very special way with children.
he's just about to pour more champagne when he sees ray, egon and winston coming toward him through the restaurant.
yeah, sorry i missed it. i guess you guys didn't know about the dress code here. it's really kind of a coat and tie place.
boys, listen. you're scaring the straights. let's save this until tomorrow, okay?
hey, don't be an idiot. this is serious.
oh, yeah?
finish your dessert -- it's already paid for. i'll call you.
i just want to get your names right for when the mayor asks us why we didn't let him know about this sooner.
i don't think he's ready for the toaster.
yeah, i think the times might be interested, don't you? the post might have a lot of fun with it, too.
now you're talking.
don't look at me. i think they're nuts.
it better not start yet. i'm trying to finish my potholder before lunch.
what kind of dog?
habitual liars. they can't help it. it's in the breed.
yeah, well guess again.
i hate jello.
well, better late than never.
okay, who knows "cumbaya?"
all right. nice and sweet -- cumbaya, milord, cumbaya --
good effort. now what? should we say supportive, nurturing things to it, ray?
and pure --
oh, you think so? well, i've got news for you. you've got dracula's brother-in-law in there and he's got my girlfriend and her kid. around about midnight tonight, when you're partying uptown, this guy's going to come to life and start doing amateur head transplants. and that's just round one.
we tried to tell you last night, but mr. hard-on over here packed us off to the loony bin.
kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?
if she's naked under that toga. she's french, you know.
only one way to find out. ready, teddy?
okay, one, two, three, four --
okay, libby. let's get it in gear.
it's okay. i have my senior lifesaving card.
are you kidding? we'll hit all that bridge traffic at 59th. i'm going to take 72nd straight up to fifth. trust me, i used to drive a cab.
they love you, lib. keep it up.
so far so good.
we're almost there, lib. step on it.
she's new in town.
happy new year.
oh, johnny. did you back the wrong horse.
the whole city's together on this one. we took a vote. everybody's down on you, you know.
oh, no. we've got to live with this?
hey, i just had this suit cleaned. take care of the wiggler, will you.
what is this -- a love in? hey, sailor. i think the tattoos are a little much, don't you?
finally came to your senses, huh?
she's all right. she's just sleeping it off.
this probably isn't a good time to bring this up, but the last time we did a job for the city you stiffed us.
i think she looks pretty good here, don't you?
pretty impressive, huh?
from where -- neptune?
ostrov? i've been there. good party town.
oh, right, you told me that. they came to america seeking other kinds of cheese, as i recall. how about you, winston?
miss blue blood? her family's been here since the year 12.
same difference.
me? i'm a little of everything. some irish, some german, some french, dutch -- the women in my family slept around. and that's what made this country great.
so what? it's a free country. thanks, lib.