chuckie, what the fuck happened?
it's walkin' pretty slow at this point.
watching his cat get brained.
--or a tail--
you think i'm afraid of you, you big fuck? you're crowdin' the plate.
stop crowdin the plate!
what are we gonna do up there?
fuck you.
yah, bobby champa. he used to beat the shit outta' me in kindergarten.
yah, he's the same size now as he was in kindergarten.
i could go for a whopper.
she's sharp as a marble.
she didn't do it again did she?
jesus, that's really bad, did anyone even order a flyin' fish?
well, she out did herself today.
i don't know yet.
so don't go.
hey, bobby champa! i went to kindergarten with you right? sister margaret's class.
yeah, you're all invited over to morgan's house for a complementary fish sandwich.
hey, i know it's not a french cruller, but it's free.
get the fuck off me!
next week.
oh, i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
hey fuck you.
yeah, morgan. i got fired.
management was restructurin'.
of course that's your contention. you're a first year grad student. you just finished some marxian historian, pete garrison prob'ly, and so naturally that's what you believe until next month when you get to james lemon and get convinced that virginia and pennsylvania were strongly entrepreneurial and capitalist back in 1740. that'll last until sometime in your second year, then you'll be in here regurgitating gordon wood about the pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
"wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth" you got that from "work in essex county," page 421, right? do you have any thoughts of your own on the subject or were you just gonna plagiarize the whole book for me?
look, don't try to pass yourself off as some kind of an intellect at the expense of my friend just to impress these girls.
the sad thing is, in about 50 years you might start doin' some thinkin' on your own and by then you'll realize there are only two certainties in life.
one, don't do that. two -- you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on an education you coulda' picked up for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.
maybe. but at least i won't be a prick. and if you got a problem with that, i guess we can step outside and deal with it that way.
if you change your mind, i'll be over by the bar.
what?
i'm will.
i kind of got that impression.
i didn't mean you. listen, maybe.
great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
when you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
five minutes.
i was trying to be smooth. but at twelve-fifteen i was gonna come over there and talk to you.
the caramel thing is my pick-up line.
hold up.
hey!
do you like apples?
do you like apples?!
well i got her number! how do ya like them apples?!!
there is a lengthy legal precedent, your honor, going back to 1789, whereby a defendant may claim self- defense against an agent of the government where the act is shown to be a defense against tyranny, a defense of liberty--
henry ward beecher proclaimed, in his proverbs from plymouth pulpit back in 1887, that "every american citizen is by birth, a sworn officer of the state. every man is a policeman." as for the other officers, even william congrave said; "he that first cries out 'stop thief' is 'oft he that has stolen the treasure."
i am afforded the right to speak in my own defense by our constitution, sir. the same document which guarantees my right to liberty. "liberty," in case you've forgotten, is "the soul's right to breathe, and when it cannot take a long breath laws are girded too tight. without liberty, man is a syncope." ibid. your honor.
julius caesar proclaimed -- though he be wounded-- "magna"
how many?
hey, skylar?
it's will, the really funny good looking guy you met at the bar?
okay, you got me. it's the ugly, obnoxious, toothless loser who got drunk and wouldn't leave you alone all night.
yeah, i figured maybe sometime this week we could go to a cafe and have some caramels.
you aren't, by any chance, pre-law? are you?
fuck do you want?
really?
what're those?
if i agree to this, i walk right now?
i'll do the work. i'm not going to meet with a therapist.
probation, counselin', few days a week.
that's why i love stock-car racin'. that dale ernhart's real good.
i could work the pit maybe, but i could never drive like dale ernhart--
yeah, i read your book. "mike" had the same problems as "chad" the stockbroker.
you're right. i know.
no, but, i mean you know.  i do other things. that no one knows about.
i go places, i interact.
certain, clubs. like, paradise. it's not bad.
it's just that feeling when you can take your shirt off and really dance. when the music owns you. do you understand?
do you find it hard to hide the fact that you're gay?
c'mon, i read your book. i talked to you. it's just something i know to be true.
buddy, two seconds ago you were ready to give me a jump.
i'm sure you do. you probably got a real nice house, nice car -- your book's a best seller.
look, man. i don't care if you're putting from the rough. there are solid arguments that some of the greatest people in history were gay; alexander the great, caesar, shakespeare, oscar wilde, napoleon, gertrude stein, not to mention danny terrio, not many straight men can dance like that.
if you wanna hit "ramrod," take your shot. take some pride in it. you go to church? so fuckin' what, god loves you. i mean, christ. a guy as well known as you? by the time you put your disguise on and skulk out of the house sunday nights you probably look like "inspector clouseau."
you're getting defensive.  henry. and hey, chief -- tell the wife, at least. christ, set her free.
fuckin' hypocrite.
of course.
it's an integer proof.
what? hey, look buddy my time's almost up. you want me to sit here for an hour and write it out?
look, i'll give you the key steps to it but i'm not gonna do the whole thing.
i think so.
you color-code it. half-red, half- black. if that's an integer--
half-red, half-black--
--half-red, half-black--
an integer.
yeah, when do i get my hypnosis? you guys been talkin' for twenty minutes.
seven.
somethin's in my room.
it's like a small figure, hoverin' over me. gettin' closer.
it's touching me.
down there. and i'm nervous.
'cause i'm not ready. but the figure tells me everything's gonna be all right. 'cause the figure's a libra too. and we start dancin' and it's beautiful--
"sky rockets in flight!"
oh, come on! you're not pinnin' this one on me. he left, i wanted to talk to him for another twenty minutes. i was havin' fun.
c'mon, that guy was a fuckin' piece of work.
look into my eyes. i don't need therapy.
okay.  don't forget to get another therapist for next week.
i bet your parents were happy to pay.
is harvard gettin' all that money?
so you just want to use me and go?
in that case, fine. want to see my magic trick?
now, i'm gonna make all these caramels disappear.
it works better when i have my rabbit.
no.
i really don't 'date' that much.
no i haven't.
no i wasn't.
i was kinda' hopin' to get a "good night laid" but.  i'll take a kiss.
no.  i was hoping to get a kiss.
now?
hey, look lady, i'm just here for the free food.
hey, i spent all my money on those caramels.
no.
yeah, let's let the healing begin.
did you buy all these books retail, or do you send away for like a "shrink kit" that comes with all these volumes included?
probably not.
yeah, i read those.
i'm not here for a fuckin' book report. they're your books, why don't you read 'em?
that must have taken you a long time.
"a history of the united states, volume i." if you want to read a real history book, read howard zinn's "a people's history of the united states." that book will knock you on your ass.
you people baffle me. you spend all this money on beautiful, fancy books-- and they're the wrong fuckin' books.
whatever blows your hair back.
you're right. it really gets in the way of my jazzercizing.
do you lift?
nautilus?
oh yeah? me too. what do you bench?
oh.
you paint this?
no.
this is a real piece of shit.
poor color composition, lousy use of space. but that shit doesn't really concern me.
the color here, see how dark it is? it's interesting.
i think you're one step away from cutting your ear off.
you ever heard the saying, "any port in a storm?"
--well, maybe that means you.
maybe you were in the middle of a storm, a big fuckin' storm -- the waves were crashing over the bow, the goddamned mast was about to snap, and you were crying for the harbor. so you did what you had to do, to get out. maybe you became a psychologist.
maybe you married the wrong woman.
that's it isn't it? you married the wrong woman. she leave you? was she bangin' someone else?
how are the seas now, d--
time's up.
at ease, gentlemen.
not far from here, south boston.
pretty boring, i guess.
you know, nothing special.
do i have a lot of brothers and sisters?
well, irish catholic. what do you think?
you wouldn't believe me if i told you.
i have twelve big brothers.
yup, you're lookin' at lucky thirteen.
i swear to god.
it was great. there was always someone to play with, give you advice.
'course i do, they're my brothers.
marky, ricky, danny, terry, mikey, davey, timmy, tommy, joey, robby, johnny, and brian.
all the time. we all live in southie. i live with three of them now.
we'll do that.
you again. how the paintin' coming?
so what's with this place? you have a swan fetish? is this something you'd like to talk about?
no.
why thank you.
no.
no one. i didn't have the number.
no, it was your mother's 900 number. i just ran out of quarters.
how you doin', krystyn.
why not?
i'm takin' off.
i'm tired.
you know, i was on this plane once. and i'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and is like "we'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," and does his thing, then he puts the mike down but forgets to turn it off. then he says "man, all i want right now is a blow-job and a cup of coffee." so the stewardess goes runnin' up towards the cock-pit to tell him the mike's still on, and this guy in the back of the plane goes "don't forget the coffee!"
i know, but the joke's better if i tell it in the first person.
i have been laid you know.
yeah, i went on a date last week.
fine.
i don't know.
haven't called her.
i know what i'm doing. she's different from the other girls i met. we have a really good time. she's smart, beautiful, fun.
why? so i can realize she's not so smart. that she's boring. you don't get it. right now she's perfect, i don't want to ruin that.
why not? you told me every other fuckin' thing. you talk more than any shrink i ever met.
you ever think about gettin' remarried?
hence, the word remarried.
well i think that's a wonderful philosophy, sean. that way you can go through the rest of your life without having to really know anyone.
i'm sorry, i been real busy.
sorry. i'm sorry. give me another crack at it. let me take you out.
promise?
i couldn't wait till tomorrow.
didn't your mother ever tell you not to look a gift horse in the mouth?
you're not going into surgery tomorrow are you?
then let's go have some fun.
do you still counsel veterans? i read your book last night.
why not?
is that why you didn't write anything else?
well, i've read you colleagues. your book was good, sean. all those guys were in your platoon?
what happened to that guy from kentucky?
do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you never met your wife?
you don't regret meetin' your wife?
when did you know she was the one?
where were you?
you missed pudge fisk's homerun to have a drink with a woman you had never met?
so wait a minute. the red sox haven't won a world series since nineteen eighteen, you slept out for tickets, games gonna start in twenty minutes, in walks a girl you never seen before, and you give your ticket away?
i don't care if helen of troy walked into that bar! that's game six of the world series!
and what kind of friends are these? they let you get away with that?
"i gotta go see about a girl"? what did they say?
you're kiddin' me.
would have been nice to catch that game though.
but i can always go to the other side.
look, i wrote it down.
it's just simpler this way.
'cause it's nicer than my place.
exactly.
they don't come over here that much.
aah, it's kind of a hike.
all right, all right. we'll go.
sometime. i don't know. next week.
i'd say.  it's only four in the mornin', they're prob'ly up.
then on behalf of my wiener, i'd like to ask for an advance.
yeah, morgan. it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinkin'.
i don't know what the fuck you're doin'. you're givin' us a ride.
i was countin' on it.
thanks, chuck.
i don't know, chuck. it's kinda outta the way.
not tonight.
they're all sleepin' now. let me get those keys.
how's it goin'?
want me to take a look?
c'mon, give me a peek and we'll go to the battin' cages.
why is it important to you? if i inherited all that money, the only thing important to me would be workin' on my swing.
you're rich. what do you have to worry about?
instead you're going to bust your ass for five years so you can be broke?
i guess. i don't know. how do you remember your phone number?
some, a little.
i guess so.
like me?
do you play the piano?
i'm trying to explain it to you. so you play the piano. when you look at the keys, you see music, you see mozart.
well all right, beethoven. he looked at a piano and saw music. the fuckin' guy was deaf when he composed the ode to joy. they had to turn him around to take a bow because he couldn't hear the crowd going crazy behind him. stone deaf. he saw all of that music in his head.
not a lick. i look at a piano and i see black and white keys, three pedals and a box of wood. beethoven, mozart, they looked at it and it just made sense to them. they saw a piano and they could play. i couldn't paint you a picture, i probably can't hit the ball out of fenway park and i can't play the piano--
when it came to stuff like that i could always just play.
!!! !
i don't know what it's called.
i'm pretty sure it's right.
can i ask you a favor, can we do this at sean's from now on? 'cause i leave work to come here and the fuckin' commute is killin' me--
it's right. take it home with you.
i couldn't go 'cause i had a date. so i sent my chief negotiator.
then don't set up any more meetings.
maybe i don't want to spend my life sittin' around and explaining shit to people.
you know how fuckin' easy this is to me? this is a joke! and i'm sorry you can't do this. i really am. 'cause if you could i wouldn't be forced to watch you fumble around and fuck it up.
well, i'm sorry.
no.
what?
how do you know that?
yeah, but how do you know?
and you're sure about that?
'cause that's a serious thing you're sayin'. i mean, we might be in california next week and you could find out somethin' about me that you don't like. and you might feel like "hey this is a big mistake." but you can't take it back, 'cause you know it's real serious and you can't take somethin' like that back. now i'm in california, 'cause you asked me to come. but you don't really want me there. and i'm stuck in california with someone who really doesn't want me there and just wishes they had a take-back.
i can't go out to california.
one, because i have a job here and two because i live here--
i'm not sayin' i'm not in love with you.
what do you mean "what am i afraid of?"
what am i scared of?
don't tell me about my world. you're the one that's afraid. you just want to have your little fling with the guy from the other side of town and marry--
some prick from stanford that your parents will approve of. then you'll sit around with the rest of the upper crust kids and talk about how you went slummin' too.
at least you have a mother.
what the fuck am i afraid of?!
i'm not honest?
oh, is that what this is about? you want to hear that i don't really have any brothers? that i'm a fuckin' orphan? is that what you want to hear?
no, you don't want to hear that.
you don't want to hear that i got cigarettes put out on me when i was a little kid. that this isn't surgery.
you don't want to hear that. don't tell me you want to hear that shit!!
what, you want to come in here and save me? is that what you want to do? do i have a sign that says "save me" on my back?
don't bullshit me! don't fuckin' bullshit me!
i don't love you.
so why do you think i should work for the national security agency?
codebreaking.
come on, that's what you do. you handle more than eighty percent of the intelligence workload. you're seven times the size of the c.i.a.
why shouldn't i work for the national security agency? that's a tough one.
i just wanted to call before you left. i'm takin' all these job interviews. so i won't just be a construction worker.
yeah.
take care.
it's a carlton fisk baseball card.
pudge fisk. you follow baseball?
oh, well, it's just somethin' sean told me. it's a long story.
you all set?
yeah.
i don't know.
i guess.
what did i think?
say i'm working at n.s.a. somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. so i take a shot at it and maybe i break it. and i'm real happy with myself, 'cause i did my job well. but maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in north africa or the middle east. once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people i never had a problem with get killed. now the politicians are sayin' "send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. it won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the national guard. it'll be some guy from southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. and he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. meanwhile my buddy from southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. and of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. a cute, little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. and naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink seven and sevens and play slalom with the icebergs and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea-life in the north atlantic. so my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive so he's got to walk to the job interviews which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. and meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue-plate special they're servin' is north atlantic scrod with quaker state.
so what'd i think? i'm holdin' out for somethin' better. i figure i'll eliminate the middle man. why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the national guard? christ, i could be elected president.
what?
define that.
yeah.
shakespeare, neitzche, frost, o'connor, chaucer, pope, kant--
not to me, they're not.
not without a heater and some serious smelling salts, no.
oh, what? you're going to take the professor's side on this?
i didn't want the job.
i didn't ask for this.
why is it a cop-out? i don't see anythin' wrong with layin' brick, that's somebody's home i'm buildin'. or fixin' somebody's car, somebody's gonna get to work the next day 'cause of me. there's honor in that.
what?
what?
fuck you!
who the fuck are you to lecture me about life? you fuckin' burnout! where's your "soul-mate?!"
dead! she dies and you just cash in your chips. that's a fuckin' cop- out!
that's right. and you fuckin' lost! and some people would have the sack to lose a big hand like that and still come back and ante up again!
gone.
she went to medical school in california.
oh i'm sure, that's why only one of us has herpes.
fuck you.
week after i'm twenty-one.
yeah, sit in a room and do long division for the next fifty years.
yeah, be a fuckin' lab rat.
what do i want a way outta here for? i want to live here the rest of my life. i want to be your next door neighbor. i want to take out kids to little league together up foley field.
chuckie, what are you talkin'.
why is it always this? i owe it to myself? what if i don't want to?
you don't know that.
i can come back.
well, i'm here. so, is that my problem? i'm afraid of being abandoned? that was easy.
do you want to talk about it?
what's that?
you're not going to fail me are you?
so what's it say?
no. have you had any experience with that?
no, have you had any experience with that?
it sure ain't good.
he used to just put a belt, a stick and a wrench on the kitchen table and say "choose."
i used to go with the wrench.
cause fuck him, that's why.
is that why me and skylar broke up?
oh, i know.
i know.
i know.
i know.
don't fuck with me.
i know.
i know, i know.
yeah, my name is will hunting. i'm here about a position.
sorry to miss this.
you and morgan throw?
why didn't you yoke him?
you're kiddin' me.
you're kiddin' me. this is the ugliest fuckin' car i ever seen in my life.
how the fuck did you guys do this?
so, you finally got a job morgan?
so what do you got, a fuckin' hyundai engine under there? can i make it back to my house?
over at tri-tech. one of the jobs professor lambeau set me up with. i haven't told him yet, but i talked to my new boss over there and he seemed like a nice guy.
yeah, i think so.
thanks you. so, that's it? we're done?
i just want you to know, sean.
i'll keep in touch.
thanks you, sean.
does this violate the patient. doctor relationship?
see ya.
hey, how you doin'?
i was just sayin' goodbye to sean.
thank you.
bullshit.
i appreciate that.
hey, gerry.
listen, i'll be nearby so, if you need some help, or you get stuck again, don't be afraid to give me a call.
sean -- if the professor calls about that job, just tell him, "sorry, i had to go see about a girl."