hello?
okay. i'd like to see gram parsons.
yes. alone, if possible. and would you have a gurney standing by in case i need to move him?
actually, i'm his road manager.
no.
now listen here.
sheesh!
hello buddy. how you been?
well, i can't stand around here chatting with you all day. things to do.
naw, i'm cool thanks.
just taking some stiff down to neurology.
urology.
okay. just hold your horses - i'll go check the paperwork.
no. you have your paperwork. i need to go check my paperwork.
martin luther king.
this.  . isn't.  . the best time.  . baby.
yeah, out of a job again.
how do you know i wasn't?
i was still 'on staff'. he was still my responsibility.
so where have you been, anyway?
how long this time? two weeks?
yeah, but i usually leave a note. and there's a paycheck involved.
what's this?
hello.
when you're here, i spend my time wondering when you're going. and when you're back, i wonder where you've been.
you mean there's more than that?
there's dull, boring, normal. you should hook up with someone who works in a bank. i know a guy, actually. he has fish for dinner every friday, cleans his shoes twice a week and buys his ties in bulk because it works out cheaper that way. i'll put you in touch.
i represent the combined forces of charm, enchantment and exuberance.
long time, no see, barbara.
meet barbara.
gram's ex-girlfriend.
what do you want, barbara?
that's nice. i have no idea what you're talking about.
did he write that with joined up writing or was it before he knew how?
that's not a will barbara, and you know it.
guitar?
it's been a while since you were around, barbara.
hey, well done. you found the only unbroken thing.
it's all part of the grieving process.
nothing.
do me a favor and get the guitar, sweetheart.
obsequies? what the hell does that mean? i'm.
yes, you can help me as a matter of fact. i am.
these things aren't that big.
not really.
it's best you don't know.
well, that's the point.
right.
again.
you larry osterberg?
very nice. what's that noise?
okay.
right.
oh, i'm phil kaufman.
i'd like to hire your car.
well, i need to pick someone up at the airport.
yes, of course. it's just that i'm told your car is more suitable.
well.  it's a hearse.
it's.  a joke.
a prank. a surprise.
no, it's more of a fifty dollar surprise.
booked how?
well, here's two hundred dollars to unbook it. let 'em carry their own trombones.
you don't need to count it. you could trust me.
that last twenty is for gas. anyway - i haven't even seen the car yet. i'm the one who's operating on trust.
bernice?
it's yellow.
it's supposed to be black.
that might be my point.
i paid you two hundred dollars for a black hearse.
okay. where are the keys?
i gotta go. larry looks from phil to bernice and back again.
okay. well, let's boogie.
well, i've paid top dollar, so it's nice to see i'm getting the best.
you are famous throughout the greater los angeles area.
but you are the only guy with a hearse. don't go getting carried away.
pull over.
shit.
nothing.
we'll wait here.
soon.
why do you ask so many damn questions?
look, will you please shut up asking me stuff?
morning.
we'll make the pick-up in the morning.
i'm here to pick up a.  coffin.
yes i am.
okay. a casket.
it was due out on the next flight to new orleans, but i'm driving it now. the stiff doesn't like to fly.
yeah, but it's my day off.
mine or the?
parsons.
they'll be along. with this being a rush job, they said you'd understand. he passes a folded banknote across. the clerk pockets it without a change of expression.
yup. that's a she.
yeah.
gone? whaddya mean, gone?
nice work. so how do i get my box back?
you're a damn thief.
can you speed things up?
i'd like to get to the joshua tree while it's still light.
what?
joshua tree, yeah.
joshua tree, louisiana. just outside the city.
it's small. just another local community struggling to get by.
use your phone?
yeah. i'm a real lucky guy.
well, i don't care if it is first thing in the morning - but i sure need a coffee. i tell you, i've never seen so many darned bits of paper to sign! it's paperwork which is slowing this great country down. we're drowning in triplicate!
good morning officer.
i was just saying how people with work to do - people like yourself, officer - are just getting engulfed by paper. grab the end, will you? doesn't that just drive you plain crazy?
one casket, six sheets to sign. six! that can't be right. does that sound right to you?
and the very last thing i want to do is to hold you up further with my chatter. thank you for your help, officer. you have a good day, now.
yessir?
and there you have it, officer. you see the gentleman we're meeting from the plane doesn't yet know about the sad passing of his.  aunt.
yeah. we're doing it this way for the avoidance of doubt.
thanks for everything, officer. we'd best be off.
yes! we did it!!
what was all that babbling about earlier?
what the hell does that mean?
well of course they make you feel uneasy. they're supposed to make you feel uneasy.
you hit the wall.
there's a gap fifty yards wide! you just had to aim for the gap. how could you miss the gap?
hello, officer. i guess they make these hearses wider than they need to.
well.
fantastic. well done.
you.  you just drove into a wall! of course it's your fault. jesus!
here it comes.
well?
well, what are we doing now?
nice going, hippie. went right through the gap that time.
well, we got it. whoooh!!!
jesus.  what now?
what are you talking about?
c'mon, we gotta keep moving.
look, i can see you're a bit.  sensitive about this whole.  casket thing.
stop saying that! i can't get out.
i.  look, it's not right to throw me out onto the street with a coffin. larry slips the car into gear and it moves forward.
thank god.
what the hell are you doing?
you can't do that.
what talk?
can we please talk about this later? this is not a great place to be right now. larry moves to get out of the car. phil grabs his arm.
oh, just a minute. now i understand.  you think there's a body back there.
you think there's a body in the coffin!
i can fully understand why you'd think that. i mean, it is a coffin and all. but would i - would i really - steal a real live dead body?
absolutely, completely, totally.
they are made of finest.  poplar. that's very heavy wood.
look, i'm not going to argue with you now. poplar is very well suited to the making of coffins.
i'm.  selling them on to a company in palm springs. lots of stiffs, lots of money. and then of course, it's very environmentally sound. and.  look, under the circumstances, perhaps we should renegotiate the financial arrangement between us. larry still stares at phil. stanley is almost at the car.
fifty-fifty? that baby's worth two grand.
so then bobby transfers 'em into hardboard boxes just prior to the cremation and i drive the caskets over to a guy i know in palm springs who resells them.
well i'm not sure the 'one careful owner' thing works with coffins.
yeah, well. i saw how outraged you were back there, when i mentioned money. just think of it as recycling.
why?
well, while i acknowledge the power of your argument, we have to be somewhere else. so just settle back and enjoy the ride. larry slows the car down.
what now?
sure am.
nope. we're special rock 'n roll undertakers. musical morticians.
high test.
who says it's for the car?
nope.
why would we want to do that?
you want to go home to pick up fresh clothes?
and then drive back out tomorrow?
just drive the car, okay?
no.
no.
no.
well, i do everything.
this little number is for drinking money. by trade i'm a road manager.
no, not like a well-paid gopher. i'm responsible for movement, maintenance and management. i'm a confidante and a companion, a partner and a patron, an ally, agent and ambassador. i'm like an executive nanny. not a gopher.
hello baby, it's the love machine. how are ya?
hello barbara. how nice to hear from you again. and so soon.
sorry barb, gotta go.
it's been real, though.
so what's that about?
you've hardly left the car since we met. how can you have sunstroke?
you're a winner, that's what you are. a winner.
turn off here.
it is if you're a coffin smuggler.
it would be really nice if we could get through a couple of hours without crashing the car.
of course you were.
i don't believe it. middle of nowhere, and.  quick - stand in front of the car!
pretend we're having a conversation.
i don't know what about! ever since i met you, you've talked. yabba, yabba, yabba, every waking minute. religion, your supersonic, supercharged car, the darkside. now you need to talk, and you can't think of anything to say.
whatever your damn fool religion is called, i think it works.
oh, well done. good work.
afternoon, officer. how's it going today?
fine, fine. we just.  stopped to take a look at.
the fine view you folks have got around here.
that's a great line.  the cop turns to phil. he is still smiling.
anything.
i think he's onto us, larry. he's just having a little fun at our expense.
god damn!
he meant a coffin.
look, the place that i get the coffins from probably haven't filed a report yet. it'll all be sorted out within the hour. trust me.
jesus!
time.
we're going to be arrested, that's what we're going to do. then we'll go to court and then we'll go to jail and we'll do that for a while.
yeah, that would be great. then we could suspend you from a bridge in a straitjacket and set the rope on fire.
okay. show me.
yes, i think we should go.
nicely done.
we'll be moving on, now that your sign no longer appears to be impeding our forward progress.
what the hell are you doing?
well.  turn it off!
so, we've escaped but we can only drive in a circle?
can we please go?
why would they do that?
you worry too much.
jesus - what the hell is that?
very perceptive. what's it doing?
pull over - let's.  eat.
we need to stop. i'm starting to get hungry. i'm not nice hungry.
what gave you the impression this was a democracy?
you frighten him.
everyone else, he announces the food when he brings it. diplodocus this and allosaurus that. us he just slaps it down and runs for cover.
it's probably the rabbit food.
i understand. really i do. that stuff'll mess you right up every time.
gotta make a call.
hey man, where's the phone?
who?
none of your damn business.
no.
yeah, that'll be it. shopping.
we gotta go.
all gone. c'mon.
better get going.
yeah, he was a real blabbermouth. in fact, i thought he was never gonna stop talking. anyway, although that's real interesting, we've gotta keep to the schedule.
well, i think we should just make our delivery as soon as possible, don't you? get our package to palm springs. remember?
stolen.  his son? that's outrageous! i'm appalled that you could even think we'd do such a thing.
we've really got to go.
okay, then. well, if you're satisfied, let's go.
heavy, yes. well, it is made of wood. wood is heavy. actually.
gosh, they must have given us a full one. we'll have to sort that all out when we get to palm springs and.
well, technically, we stole gram parsons.
i'd save that line for court.
what are you doing now?
calm down.
well, when you've quite finished, we should go.
shit!
welcome back, hippie.
do what?
well, i gave my word. this is what gram wanted.
do you have friends?
well, what would you do for them?
that's what i hate about people like you. everything's 'within reason'. there are always boundaries, provisos. you only operate with a safety net.
you've missed the point. see, it doesn't matter what he would do, or what you and your tie-dyed friends think is the correct way to behave. to me, it only matters what i do. where you have boundaries and limits and thresholds - i only have right and wrong. if i make a promise, i keep it - that's right. if i break that promise - that's wrong.
a hippie hit it. i thought you'd gone.
what the hell does that mean?
dolls?
what the hell are you talking about?
enough of this shit.
they've gotta be in here. it's fate.
whatever happened to peace, love and understanding, hippie?
yup.
i'm going to cremate him, here in the desert where he felt most at home. that's what he wanted.
i know you have to. stanley smashes the receiver down onto the table. everyone jumps.
it's too late to claim him now.
it means that you were never there when it mattered to gram. it means that you stopped being a father the moment he stopped doing your bidding. it means that you learned to care too late. that's what it means.
not to me, no.
no - he gave it his all, but in a way you could never understand. and all he ever wanted from you was approval. he wanted you to be proud of what he had achieved.
it's no good telling me. you should have told him.
too late.
i was both, yes.
yes. that's right.
i guess not.
i only failed because i couldn't save him from himself. you failed him all his life. you never believed. i never doubted.
i was his road manager and his friend. we loved it out here in the desert, and we made a pact that whoever died first, the other would come down here and set them free. gram gave his word and i gave mine.
i don't take drugs. another 'bang' from the bathroom. stanley turns to larry.
nice work. let's go.
god damn!
did you call them?
are you going to call them?
there isn't a reason. if someone tried to steal my son's body, i'd stop them. for sure.
i'm expecting to.
better make the point.
are we sure that this is helping?
what's that for?
well.  i'll have to do that more often.
did you really take all those drugs?
c'mon, time to go.
just checking.
are you coming?
cap rock. this is perfect. really peaceful.
you wanna give me a hand here? larry walks over and grabs the other end of the casket. they walk it away from the car and lay it down. as they lower it, the coffin slips out of phil's hands and bangs down in the sand.
sorry, gram.
now we.  do it.
take the top off.
flesh burns easier than wood.
hey, man. looking a little peaky.
right.
do you think that's enough? against his better judgment, larry walks over and peers inside.
enough?
only a little left.
i'm sorry i wasn't there for you when it mattered, but i was there before, and i've been there ever since. gram, good luck to you, wherever you are.
that's my last one, man.
nah, i just didn't factor in the booze inside of him. gram always.
i think our work here is done.
go!
hello, gram.
do you think you should?
they're very handy for transporting dead people around. nothing better.
you're more than dead, gram. you and the box are down to bones and brass.
what can i do for you, gram?
well, you're here. and seeing as i just burned you to a cinder, you shouldn't be.
what for?
well, that's okay, gram. but i don't need thanking.
i'm just taking care of business. that's what you paid me for - that's what i do.
actually, i just quit.
goodbye, gram. i'm glad it all worked out.
i said i'm glad it all worked out.
doesn't matter. can we go now? i'm getting sick of sand.
singed my damn mustache, that's for sure.
yeah. let's roll, hippie.
where d'you think you might be when i'm done?
yeah, but where?