why don't you want to go to your high school reunion?
you went to school with these people.
we've spent a lot of time discussing those years. remember we said that fear is a transfer of the bodily hurt associated by experience with the thing feared, to the thought of the thing. thus we fear a dog without distinctly imagining its bite.
tell me about your vision of the reunion.
how do you know?
say more.
you needn't be so frank with me about your work.
you know where i live?
i think what you fear martin is domesticity. it's the greatest fear that men have who belong to western culture. it's centuries old. like king phillip, in the 11th or 12th century who decided one day that he was so bored with his dreary life at home with his wife he thought, "well, wouldn't it be great if we hit the road and fought.  oh.  the saracens." so he put the word out and was amazed when a million men signed up and all of them wanted to go and fight in distant lands and do terrible things to people rather than stay at home with their families.
yes.
and how have you been feeling about your.  work lately?
maybe some of the discomfort you're feeling is.  guilt. remorse. over the innocent people you've killed.
what stuff?
go to your reunion, martin. see those people and discover what they mean to you. try not to kill anybody for a few days, see how you feel.
what else? say more.
okay. repeat this after me.
take a deep breath and realize, that this is me breathing.
and don't kill anyone.