in her laura ashley bedroom, angrily packing up her suitcase. she's beautiful and preppy in pearls and a sweater set.
can you tell me why all the goddamn credit cards are maxed out?!
"your best man?!" what's going on there, alan?!
i really don't appreciate being mocked right now, alan, especially about wedding-related issues. you know how hard this weekend is going to be for me.
so you'll call the credit card company and straighten this out?
okay. okay.  look, sorry i'm so tense.  i'll see you soon, okay? love you. but alan is just staring at the bronze shield of him making out with his blonde bombshell wife.
alan? hello? i said i love you?!
alan's girlfriend of 14 years, bearing down on them, irate.
shut up, vick! alan, where the hell have you been?! i've been calling and calling! what, you don't answer your phone anymore?!
okay: who the hell is this chick, and why the hell does she have your grandmother's wedding ring?! alan looks back and forth between becky and chastity.  it's the moment of truth. the fork in life's road.
talk, you moron! jesus, you're just like your mother! talk! who's the ho wearing my ring?! and in that moment, it all becomes so clear. alan turns:
are you fucking kidding me? alan shakes his head, sadly, no.
alan! alan steven mervish, get back here this second! don't you walk away from me, you stupid little clown! i own you! get