dang, did i sleep in the closet again? then she notices the guys staring down at her. she smiles, recognizing them:
oh hey, guys! what's up? she shakily climbs to her feet to expose a skimpy skirt, a snug tube top, and mascara smeared all over her face. the guys have no idea what to say. she kisses alan on the cheek, very intimate -- like, well, a husband and wife.
morning, honey.  she exits into the living room, picking her wedgie. beat. alan is speechless.
well. ya? alan slumps, his life over. vick pumps his fist, yes!
but we waited til we were married. alan groans.
i know -- he even wanted to use a rubber. alan breaks into a coughing fit.
it's cool, i sponge. alan leans against a wall, dizzy.
so you guys don't remember any of last night?
hey, been there before, right? sucks, though. the wedding was really fun. i'm bummed you don't remember it, alan. she smiles, a little saddened. stu whispers to alan:
sure, we met at the bar at like 10:00? then we got married on my smoke break, which was like 11:00?
well, i had to go back to work. but when i got off at 5:30, i met up with you guys back here.
no.
no, but i bet some of my work friends do. you were partying with them pretty hard.
yeah -- and this is the pole where we first met! she stops at a pole, around which a brunette stripper currently spins. alan looks ill.
it's always been my lucky pole.
hey platinum, check it out! she holds up her hand, showing off alan's grandmother's ring to the stripper currently upside-down on the pole.
come on, let's go meet my bridesmaids!
these were my bridesmaids, anastasia and starr!
oh my god, he's playing our song! this song was playing when we met, remember?! you kept sliding twenties into my thong and saying "i will always love you. i will always love you." alan closes his eyes.
yeah, it was so sweet.
come on! the guys race after her.
come on! chastity, in six inch leucite heels, sprints down the main runway, leaps over the patrons sitting at the end, and hits the floor running!
that might not be like, the smartest place to fight? vick and alan look over at the huge las vegas police department sign right next to them. they frown.
yeah, i always come here when i get out of jail. the guys exchange a quick look.
oh, my daddy taught me how to hotwire almost anything.
guys: he's kidding. roger breaks into a smile and slaps five with chastity. the guys all exhale, incredibly relieved.
anything for my hubby. alan's smile flickers slightly.
i'm kidding, alan. i know last night wasn't, you know, real.  she looks out at vegas as it flies by.
jennifer.
my name is jennifer. jennifer elly. alan hesitates; suddenly she seems a lot more. human.
oh, don't be. last night wasn't the first flaky decision i've ever made in my life. i mean, i am a stripper. alan tries not to laugh. she smiles, a twinge sadly.
la. tarzana.
yeah. i work here on the weekends.
yeah. i'd move, but my kid is in a great school.
i have a little girl, sarah. she's.  well, she's everything. chastity proudly shows alan a photo from her purse of a cute little toddler. alan smiles.
what about you?
wow, she's stunning. stu turns around, unable to keep quiet any longer:
a what?
good for you. she smiles at alan, impressed, pulling her hair from her face. alan looks at her anew.  it's a sweet moment.
well, it is vegas.  the guys' eyebrows all rise, you think?
would you like me to come with?
i'm so sorry. about everything.
there's no sense. in exchanging numbers or anything. right?
well. i'll always remember you as a great first husband, then. they both smile weakly.
you can just send the divorce papers to the crazy horse or whatever.  alan nods, okay. another awkward pause.
thanks for reminding me that there are still some really good guys out there, alan. i don't. i don't get to meet too many of them. she smiles a bit sadly, kisses him on the cheek, and walks off. tight on alan's grandmother's ring still on her finger. alan doesn't remember the ring, however; he's too busy watching her walk out of his life, and feeling a real sense of loss.  then vick fires up the car next to him.
standing behind them in a very sexy, very elegant dress, her hair back. she cleans up nicely. alan swallows, whoa.
i-i know i wasn't invited, but i just had to return this.  she hands alan his grandmother's holocaust ring. becky watches on, stunned.
we're not. actually. still married, are we?
i'd like that.