elliot? elliot? sweetheart?
have you tried these? these are wonderful. holly and her friend made them.
aren't they great?
i know! i know!
she has all the cooking talent.
ohhh, but i've eaten five of these.
what? you're kidding!
perfect!
i know.
oh, sure.
mmm, i never get upset over that. mmm?
holly, please. don't insult me.
i know. h-how much do you need?
uh-huh.
yeah.
will you just tell me one thing?
are we talking about cocaine again?
aah.  hey, have you tried holly and her friend's shrimp puffs?
you've outdone yourself.
ohh?
doesn't she look great in that new dress?
don't you think she does?
maybe when she's eighty, she'll stop straightening her garter belt when there's a guy around.
oh, i don-- ask elliot for that. uh, he's got them somewhere.
when does frederick ever come with her?
watch out, you guys. beep-beep!
oh, gosh. well, you know, that's why i invited phil gammage tonight.
it's, uh, you never know--
he's not a loser at all!
he's the headmaster of daisy's school.
listen. he's a lot better than your ex-husband. he's got a good job. would you light those, please? he's-he's-he's not a dope addict or anything.
mm-mm!
come in, come in.
oh, listen.
maybe april would like phil. phil gammage, the tall guy in there by the piano.
mmm?
i can't believe it!
here. be careful with those.
oh!
hey, you guys?
dinner's ready.
you look so beautiful.
doesn't she look pretty?
oh, yeah?
god, mickey's such a hypochondriac. i wonder how he'd handle it if there was ever anything really wrong with him?
mmm.
get his wine away.
uh, and a little help.
from mavis, also.
holly and april, thanks for helping.
i am.  i did slave all day.
i don't know about that. oh, no, i just, see, i-i've been very, very lucky. w-when i had the kids, i decided to stop working and just, you know, devote myself to having the family, and i've been very, very happy but. i've always secretly hoped that maybe some little gem would come along and tempt me back on the stage.
just for a second. so, now i got that out of my system and i can go back to the thing that makes me happiest.
hi! hi!
glad you could put in an appearance.
very good.
two minutes on your sons' birthday. you know, it's not going to kill you.
guys, look what daddy brought. presents!
huh?
everything's good. everything's fine.
here, you guys. open them up.
he's fine.
oh, you know what? i'm trying to convince him to produce a play.
i think he'll find that satisfying.
i think so.
yeah.
ohh!
i know, i know.
that's really nice!
you know, he's been wanting a mitt.
thanks, thanks.
that's a beauty!
oh!
football!
wow!
hey, d-- watch, watch the picture.
is there no chance?
this is the second opinion.
could you have ruined yourself somehow?
i don't know. excessive masturbation?
well, what about artificial insemination?
you know, where i-i-i would get implanted from a-a donor.
yeah, they have these banks, you know, where they keep them frozen.
i want to experience childbirth.
just think about it. that's all i ask.
sorry. coffee? listen, you guys, we were-- you want some more?
we-we. we had something we-we really wanted to discuss with you.
w-w-we-we've decided after a lot of discussion that we-we'd try with artificial insemination.
um, i-i didn't really want to, you know, go to a sperm bank or something, have some anonymous donor. i-i just, you know, i-i-i wouldn't want that.
and you can say no.  you know. feel free to say no. w-we realize it has all kinds of implications.
obviously we wou-wouldn't have intercourse.
carol, i know it's a lot to ask.
ye-- d-d-d-don't answer now. just, you know, take it home and think about it for a while.
you know, we-we understand completely if, you know, if you feel you'd-you'd rather not. i didn't mean to spoil the evening. now let's move on to another topic.
hi. how's she doing?
don't make it worse, dad.
hi, mom. how you doing? here, let me get you some coffee. that's enough of that. what triggered it?
dad, could you just please stay in the other room and let me take care of her?
here, mom. drink this. you know, you're awful. you probably were flirting.
you promised to stay on the wagon.
okay, stop being so dramatic.
okay, okay.
yeah, i know, mom.
she was so beautiful at one time, and he was so dashing. both of them just full of promise and hopes that never materialized.
and the fights and the constant infidelities to prove themselves. and blaming each other. it's s-sad. they loved the idea of having us kids, but raising us didn't interest them much. but it's impossible to hold it against them. they didn't know anything else.
ohhh, my true gift is luck, mom.
i just had a lot of luck. from my first show, you know? i've always thought lee was the one destined for great things.
now, holly's not shy.
true.
where're you going?
it's so late.
oh, you just have to read the instructions. i mean, you just set one of these things and you can take, you can take pictures underwater.
sure! yeah. when we get to the country, we'll try it in the lake.
okay?
yeah! okay.
are you in a bad mood?
yes. i know. the last few weeks, you haven't been yourself. and tonight at, tonight at dinner, you, you were kind of curt with me.
yes, you were. a-and when i, when i brought up the idea of having a baby, you just, you jumped down my throat.
why not?
why do you say that? is there something wrong?
well, tell me. should i be worried?
i want one with you.
but what do, what do you-- what's that mean? w-w-we've been, we've been married for four years. how settled can things get?
yeah, but i. uh--i thought you needed that. when-when-when we met, you said your life was chaos.
are you angry with me?
do you feel, um. are you disenchanted with our marriage?
are you in love with someone else?
well, what? what, wh-what are you not telling me?
are you?
what, you, of c-- what are you talking about? of course not. i'd be destroyed!
look, can i help you? if you're suffering over something, will you share it with me?
oh, no, not at all.
well, i, i really like that. i think that's a pretty color on you.
nuh-uh. but i think it's great. i can't wait to meet him.
oh-oh.
oooo.
oh?
you found all this, all this out on one date?
singing?
really?
well, no. i-i know, i just, uh.  no, i-i, eh, you know, i, i didn't, i didn't know you sung.
no! no, i, eh, it's just that they sing.
ohh!
i know, no-- i know.
no, i'm sorry. no, i didn't mean that. no, i didn't mean that.
uh-huh.
no, i didn't, i, that's no. no, i- i-i, no, i-i just.  hate to see you put yourself in a position where, where you get hurt, you know. you know, you know how you take.
every, eh, single rejection as- as-as a. a confirmation that you have no talent, or something?
i hope.
what? you don't, don't be so sensitive. can't i say anything?
okay! okay. i-- what happened? you know, we were having a really nice time, a-and suddenly, everything went to bad feeling.
look, everything's going your way.
hi. where's holly?
oh, yeah? how's she doing?
i hope you tell her it was your idea.
'cause every time i try to be helpful, you know, sh-she gets so defensive.
so how are you?
do you miss frederick?
i can't believe elliot and i can't think of someone nice for you to go out with, you know--
i'm okay.
y-yeah.
oh, he's fine. he's-he's, i guess he's fine. i don't know. he's been kinda moody lately, the last few months.
yeah. i-i don't know what's wrong with him. he's just. kind of distant and difficult.
i've been trying to talk to him about it. he says everything's fine, but i don't know. automatically, you know, i leap to the worst conclusions.
i mean, i don't know, he's seeing someone else or something, but.
hey, hi!
awwww.
boy--
oh, what do they know?
oh, gosh.
oh, god.
well, that. th-that's fine.
well, that-that's good. it just, uh. it just seems to me that-that six months or a year, if-if you spent it more productively.
well, i don't know. we'd uh, uh, um.  didn't mom mention there was something. something at the museum of broadcasting?
no. she, didn't she say it was, um. she said it was in the publicity department. that-that can lead to other things.
i'm not! i'm not! i'm trying to be helpful. a person doesn't just say one day, "okay, now-now i'm finished as an actress. now i'm a writer." i mean--
what do--? you're being ridiculous.
how?
not so! no. i think i've been very supportive. i've. i try to give you honest, constructive advice.
i'm-i'm always happy to help you financially. i think i've gone out of my way to-to introduce you to interesting single men. there's nothing i would--
you're too demanding.
you're crazy! that's not true.
oh, now--
look. listen. listen. you want to write? write.
write! let's just not talk about it anymore.
take. take a year. take six months. whatever you want. who knows? maybe you'll, maybe you'll be sitting with a good play.
what's the matter? what's the matter with you? you look pale. you okay?
yeah?
i'm real upset about what you wrote.
it's obviously based on elliot and me.
no, not "oh, so loosely"! real specifically! is that how you see us?
can i, can i not accept gestures and feelings from people? do i, do i put people off?
no, it's real exact! the-the situations, the dialogue, everything. it's-it's full of intimate details between elliot and me! which i don't, i don't see how you could even possibly know about. a conversation we once had about adoption?
i don't see how lee could know about these things. i don't! i don't tell her everything.
you make it sound like, you know, i have no needs or something. you think i'm too self-sufficient?
you're grateful, but you resent me.
yeah, we're having some problems, but problems that are my business. which i don't see how you could know about in such detail. how does lee know about these things? how? they're private!
i don't. i don't want to bother everyone.
i don't see how you could know about these things unless elliot's been talking to you.
have you been talking to holly or lee about us? about our-our personal life?
there's things holly wrote about in her script about us that are so. personal they could only have come from you.
i'm not accusing. i'm asking. do you. do you find me too. too giving? too-too-too competent? too-too, i don't know, disgustingly perfect or something?
well, what is it then? what? eh, what's come between us? how have i alienated you?
you never want to talk about it. i-- every time i bring it up, you- you change the subject. what is it? do you-- we're communicating less and less. you sleep with me less and less.
do you talk to holly or lee behind my back? do you? you must. they- they seem to know so much about us.
well, what do you do? do-do-do you talk to holly, or lee, or what? do you, do you, do you phone them?
you matter to me. completely.
but, look. i-i have enormous needs.
it's so pitch-black tonight. i feel lost.
it's on the table, dad.
i know, she. she really writes good dialogue.
oh, mom, it's only television.
oh, mom!