hi. i'm freak show's wife, liane. would you boys like some pink lemonade? harold and kumar can't move. they're awestruck.
let me go bring in a pitcher. liane leaves to go into the kitchen. along the way, she turns on a record player, which starts playing a creepy song about jesus christ. harold and kumar look around the house. there are crosses and bible verses on the walls, along with freak show and liane's wedding picture.
oh, never been better. we love each other very much. kumar looks disappointed. harold, however, is intrigued.
well, i met him at choir practice `bout four years ago. freak show was very shy back then-- you know, because of all the hideous boils on his face and neck. but he had the most amazing voice -- like a baby canary. harold and kumar look at each other in disbelief -- "are we talking about the same freakshow?"
well, one day after easter service, i told him how much i enjoyed his solo, and he just mustered up some courage and asked me out. the rest is history. and we've been in love ever since. harold ponders this for a moment. he and kumar begin drinking their lemonade.
so you boys gonna fuck me or what? harold and kumar spit the lemonade out simultaneously. they look at each other in complete shock. kumar turns to harold.
oh, so just because we're passionate about our lord, you assume we don't know how to have a good time?
sorry-- if you boys want me, you gotta do me at the same time.
come on. give me the double stuff. harold and kumar look at each other confused.
i want you both inside me simultaneously. harold and kumar look at each other again, more confused and kind of disturbed. kumar turns to liane.
however you want to do it.
well. okay. can you help me with this? liane walks over to harold, seductively. harold is nervous and doesn't know what he should do. she takes his hand and puts it on the knot in her shirt. harold looks over to kumar, who gives him a reassuring nod. harold then pulls on the cloth, causing the knot to come loose, thereby releasing her shirt. the shirt is now hanging and just barely covering her breasts.
do you want to play with them? harold looks over to kumar, then back at liane.