what about mordechai jefferson carver?
daddy, he's our only hope. and you know it.
perhaps i can persuade him.
mr. jefferson carver?
sorry i'm late. traffic was a pisher, and i've been circling the block for the past half hour looking for parking. what are you listening to?
my name is esther. chief bloomenbergensteinenthal from the jewish defense league desperately needs to speak with you.
actually, his days of marital infidelity have long since past. now he just shtoops my mother exclusively.
mordechai, santa claus has been rubbed out by his son damian. the man's a demon. there's no telling what this new anti semitic psycho santa is capable of.
why are you being so difficult? all my father wants is to just speak with.
i'm not leaving your side until i get you to agree to come speak with my father.
before we leave, there's just one more thing. i noticed that the sign on your door says you're a certified circumcised dick. would you mind if i asked to see your credentials?
it's esther.
i don't think i could eat another latke if you paid me.
but hanukkah's in dan.
he's. he's very nice. but mrs. carver, the fate of hanukkah rests solely in his hands. please, you have to help me.
what do you want me to do?
deal.
thanks. that's. good to know.
any sign of santa?
you're good.
what are we going to do? we're at least an hour from the front.
is that? no, couldn't be.
we're so sorry to have to cut, but our beautiful gentile boy ran on ahead of us in line.
it would mean so much to paul and i if you'd let us through to see santa.
back it up buddy!
shh. shh, listen. do you hear that?
yeah, no kidding.
so, now what?
sure. why not.
so, do you come here often!?
i said, do you come here often!?
what!?
oh!
hey.
i would love to get out of here.
ouch!
maybe we should try a different kind of dancing.
mordechai?
i want you to talk dirty to me.
keep going.
oh god, yes! keep going! don't stop!
kiss me you semitic stud!
hmm. i feel something poking around down there. maybe i should investigate. what do you think about that mr. certified circumcised dick?
shabat shalom!
wow, that was amazing.
what did you just snort?
your mother was right. you do work too hard.
well, she also said that you need to find a nice girl to help take your mind off of your work. i'm just glad she thought i was good enough for you.
relax morty, i think your mom is wonderful. she cares so much about you. get this, while you were gone she said she'd help me get you to work with the jdl if i'd come eat by you once in awhile. like i needed any incentive to be with you. she's so.
no. of course.
no. it's not like that. you're being completely neurotic. i was just playing along.
we do!
you're not my bitch mordechai. please, you have to believe me.
mordechai! behind you!
mordechai, i love you. i couldn't let you do this alone.
i forgive you.
what's the matter?
mordechai!
mordechai! i'm in here! help!
mordechai!
you two know each other?
and latkes.
yes! of course! i'd gladly give up my last name to be with you.
well, for starters, we're going to honeymoon in boca for a week. and then, when we get back, morty's been talking about taking a stable, good paying job as a consultant for the jdl.