arthur!
arthur! there you are. here drink and eat with me. we need to talk.
whoa. you already know? how?
oh. when you say "they" you mean they. got it. listen, i gotta tell you something important, and i gotta tell you now.
c'mon. let's go to the pub. he said they won't destroy your house until they've finished the beers.
i'd trust him to the end of the earth.
about twelve minutes away.
six pints of bitter. and quickly. the world's about to end.
it's about to get a lot crappier.
keep the change. you've got ten minutes to spend it.
time is an illusion. lunchtime doubly so.
drink up.
muscle relaxant. and eat these. you'll need the salt.
what would you say if i told you i wasn't really from guilford but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of eetelgeuse?
remember when we met? that car was racing toward me, i was trying to greet it, you pushed me out of the way?
didn't you find it a little strange that i was trying to shake hands with a car?
i thought cars were the dominant life form. i was trying to introduce myself.
you saved my life that day. now i'm saving yours.
look, if it's about your house.
this isn't a long story, is it? we've only got six minutes.
okay. talk and drink. fancy dress party.
more popular than you'd think.
hey, it happens. speaking of.  we've got two minutes. so drink up.
a round for everyone, on me.
if you want.
not really.
ships from a vogon constructor fleet. i picked up their signal this morning.
here. eat these. if you've never been through a transmat beam before you've probably lost some salt and protein.
we're safe. for now.
we're in a storage hold in one of the ships of the vogon constructor fleet .
is it?
okay. i'm joking.
in the storage hold of a vogon constructor ship.
home? arthur. your home.  is.
you don't remember, do you? okay. i've got something to tell you. it ain't gonna be easy, but you're gonna have to just deal, okay?
yeah. why?
hey man, you're in denial.
i did. i saved you.
and all those ants.
and now you're thinking like a vogon. i saved your life, okay? which makes us even. next thing.
it's a tough galaxy. you want to survive out here, you really gotta know where your towel is. now gimme a hand over here.
careful, it's hot.
we've got to get off this ship before the vogons find us. vogons hate hitchhikers. which is why they make ships with walls that won't allow the sub-etna signal to pass through. so we've got to send the signal up and out if we wanna catch a ride. pull.
ask the guide. say "vogons."
they can't think, they can't imagine, most of them can't even spell. they just run things. and if we don't get a ride soon, you won't b need the guide to illustrate just how unpleasant the vogons can be. they've destroyed a planet today, that always makes them a little feisty.
shhh!
hey, there are a hundred billion stars in the galaxy and only a limited amount of space in the book's microprocessors. no one knew much about earth. that's why i was there. to expand the entry. i fired off a new one to the editor before i got stranded.
mostly harmless.
here. put this in your ear.
the fish. it's translating for you.
don't panic. if we're lucky, they'll throw us out into space.
good tact. run with it.
vogonity!
 whatever it was .
damn.
i think you just saved my life again.
yes. no, wait! what's this switch? no, it's nothing. we are going to die.
why? what did you she tell you?
you're sweating.
yes?
i think i know how you feel.
shhh.
this way.
probably because he's so negative.
zaphod?
i don't know! just stuck out the thumb and here i am.
and look at you! president? last time i saw you, you were a beach bum.
hey, it's ford now.
my name. it's ford prefect. picked it up on earth. sorta grew on me.
oh, this is arthur. arthur, this is zaphod beeblebrox. my cousin? semi-half brother?
there's the zaphod i remember.
i thought you said you stole it.
brace yourself. this is a bit like being drunk.
ask a glass of water.
depends. where you going?
two heads. interesting choice.
so you carved it up?
that's it?
that's it?
you're looking for the ultimate question?
you.
why?
i mean, why do you want to know the ultimate question?
but you don't know the name of the computer that other computer was talking about.
where?
magrathea!? magrathea is a myth, a legend.
you mean to tell me you carved up your brain so you could become president so you would get invited to the launching ceremony of this ship. so you could steal it.  so you could go to magrathea -- which, according to most sane people, doesn't even exist?
beautiful.
infinite improbability drive? so they finally built one that works. and that's how we got picked up.
for a trip to a place that doesn't exist? i'm in. my editor will think i'm crazy, but what the hell -- he already thinks i'm dead.
hey, look what i found in the guide.
i wouldn't tell her if i were you.
but if you tell her and she ends up with you because you're literally the last guy on earth -- you'll always doubt her intentions.
got your towel?
only always.
humma kavula was his opponent in the election. something happened during the campaign. zaphod never forgave him.
probably because it's very possible. just don't save me, okay? we're even.
yes! i think. i don't know. maybe not.
back to the ship. quickly.
zaphod, what do we do?
i think that was his campaign slogan.
this way!
who is that?
marvin?
i think i should push this button.
a sign lit up saying "please do not push this button again."
wow.
wrong. this is the vogon planet. this is vogsphere.
little something i learned about on an altairian star cruiser. captains use them when they really need to concentrate.
a thinking cap.
i checked the guide for ways to rescue a prisoner from vogsphere. it said "don't." i'm assuming your plan is better.
what was it?
okay. i think we.
ah!
yes. what was that?
i th.
what do you think, zaphod?
i have.  an idea.
okay, don't think of anything. don't have ideas or theories -- nothing.
ever the politician.
what's happening, zaphod?! where did you tell it to go?!
magrathea?
um. yes, computer. evade!
no. they're right behind us.
have apparently turned into a bowl of petunias and a very surprised looking whale.
hey. this looks familiar.
we gotta pick one, right? if it's not the right one, we come back and pick another. no biggie.
he's got good hunches. i say we go.
zaphod. the gun? the one humma sent us for? we have to get it. you gave the guy your head.
um. deep thought? we we're told you have a g.
here. take it. i don't do guns.
hey, man, you must be really frustrated. to go through all you did only to come here and get no answer, which means no fame and money, and you deserve that, man. because you're great -- you're just really, really great.
yeah. i kinda like this.
funniest thing. our hosts attacked us with dismodulating anti phase stun mist then brought us to this amazing meal as a way to make it up to us . try the mutton. it's fantastic.
okay -- that thing i said about not saving my life because we're even? scratch that. save at will.
we need his other head. okay -- i'll create a distraction.
you know -- i think sometimes you say things that mean something other than what you're actually saying.
ahhhhhhhh!!!!
duck!
and i'm hungry. after we get your head let's grab a bite. i know this great restaurant at the end of the universe.