you don't want to go to madagascar.
hi. i'm zaphod beeblebrox, president of the galaxy -- of course, you probably already know that. i'm headed for a lost and distant planet. would you like to see my spaceship?
so, in the name of the people and freedom and, i dunno, democracy and stuff like that, i hereby declare this ship officially stolen!
hey. do you mind? i can't hear.
if there's anything more important than my ego on this ship, i want it caught and shot now.
hey.
huh?
i didn't engage the drive.
that's impossible.
i don't have time for this! we've got the police of half the galaxy after us and we stop to pick up hitchhikers?! okay, so ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, eh?
she's not asking you to enjoy it. just do it will you?
freeze!
i wasn't talking to you.
ixxie? it is you! ixxie!
praxibetel ix, you zarking hoopy! what the hell are you doing here?
that is so you.
is it a great galaxy or what? i still can't believe this. ixxie! here! on my ship!
hmm?
okay "ford" -- you zarking frood.
he shares three of the same mothers as me.
have we? sorry. i've got a terrible memory for species.
hey, hon. come here. you won't believe this. ix. um, sorry"ford". this is.
--ford picked him up, they hitched a ride, and here we all are. now, enough small talk, trill. we're on the run, remember? i stole a ship?
a little help over here?
so -- you along for the ride or am i dropping you somewhere?
into the pages of history, cousin. and when you see what i'm about to show you, you'll beg me to take you with us.
hey, apeman. earthman. i'm sorry, what was your name again?
right. no hard feelings, okay? and sorry to hear about your planet, but don't mention it to the girl because if you do i'll. i'll.
apparently you can't be president with a whole brain.
yes -- i think. and i think i did it in such a way that it wouldn't be detected by the government screening tests -- or by me. so, what's so secret that i can't let anybody know i know it, not the galactic government, not even myself? and the answer is-- --i don't know. obviously. but i put a few things together and that's when i realized i had this.
showtime, trill!
--and when i saw what i'm about to show you, that's when i realized why i did what i did to my brain -- or it least, i think that's why.
no, no. there's more. they go back.
that's it.
yep.
me.
no, i tried that. "why?" "forty-two." doesn't work. let's get her ready, babe.
oh. well -- partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly i think it's for the fame and the money.
yes, arman.
whatever. presidential fame is temporary, i find the question, that's permanent. it sticks. plus everyone thinks you're deep. win-win.
which is why i'm going there.
there. to find deep thought. on magrathea.
no, it isn't. it's real, cousin. and this is the only ship in the universe that can get you there.
yep.
i don't seem to be letting myself in on any of my secrets.
exactly. and i'm guessing if we hit that button -- we go to magrathea.
hey, anyone who's not up for that, there's the door. now who's in?
no!
yes!. i think. computer?
i'll handle this.
hello, humma.
i think you know why i'm here.
oh, i think you think you don't, but we both know -- you do.
thank you.
that's really not the point.
i don't know. i was headed for magrathea, i ended up here.
what?
a gun?
fine. i'll get your gun. just give me the coordinates.
my word as president.
okay, then i'll get you that.
zarquon! friendly fire! well, if that's what they want--
hey! let's do lunch! nice haircut, fella! hey! your kids are the same age as mine-- we should get them together some time!
build bridges between the stars! he holds up two peace signs, a la nixon.
thank you!
right!
computer! take us to magrathea!
hey -- my third arm. i had one, didn't i?
magrathea!
no. it's magrathea! i know it!
see what?
i think we should keep going.
aaah!!
i have an idea. run!
he said the gray building, right?
you want me to make a speech, shake a hand? that's what i do -- i think. it's all a little fuzzy.
i did?
honey, i'm president of the galaxy. i don't get a lot of time for reading.
they framed me! it's routine for controlling presidents!
eddie! welcome back!
i didn't say anything!
isn't it great?!
okay, that's it. i think. computer? is that. where are we headed again?
take us in.
the twin suns of soulianis and rahm.
for once, aldus, i agree with you. okay, computer. keep going. take us down.
i can't do this without my other arm!
did we lose them?
no! we're here! no telling where it will send us!
no!
um. where are we?
and the missiles?
okay. in we go.
it's the right one. i have a hunch.
hey, i think i resent that.
that's supposed to happen. i think.
hey, wait for me!
this is it!
deep thought!
oh great deep thought. we have traveled long. and far. have you calculated.  the ultimate question? of life, the universe and everything?
oh.
oh, right. i forgot. is it here?
it's on another world?
where?
0kay -- you're sure you don't have the question? or a way to you, you know -- access it or something. i think i've done like a lot to get here.
great. this is just great. let's go find something else for my entire life to be about.
i know. why did i do that?
thank you.
great! this is a bust, too!
and you're right, i shouldn't be so upset 'cause life goes on and i should just go on with it, right?
hitchhiking is good. towels are good, too.
who cares?
why so edgy?
of course you're edgy, your planet's been blown up and you've been tooling around the galaxy with the guy who signed the order
you actually wanted to know the question because you always thought there was more to life, and now you're crushed because you find out there really isn't.
you've got no home, no family, no one to be with -- and you're stuck with me, another in a long line of men who doesn't appreciate you because he's too busy appreciating himself.
give me that thing.
uh oh -- oh. it's okay, it's only a couple of.
zarking incredible.
smarty fart blast?
right.
sorry. thought you were proposing a toast.
ohhhh, i think i'm gonna be sick.
thank you!
we need tighter gun control!
where?
marvin. you saved our lives.
i'm going to humma's. he has my head. i think. doesn't he? i'm so confused.
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( 76. hhgg 3rd revised draft 8. 8. 03