yeah, fly boy.  that's it.  go.  go.  go.
you want to go to a movie tonight?
so?
can i come? i'll start a fire.
hello, beautiful boy.
stop.  will you stop!
show-off.
oh, come on! you think the same thing!
do you want to go around by the old road?
you want to go down or stay along the river?
".  i said it--"
no, wait, it just goes.  "he said he liked to do-".
judith!
pilgrim, come on! move!
jude, you okay?
juude!!!
have you heard from judith's parents?
how's pilgrim doing?
i can't even get out of bed yet! you're already putting me in therapy!!
dad! i can do it, ok?!
you all go ahead. i'll be up by christmas.
no, i'm just not that hungry.
i don't want to lie down. i've been lying down enough.
maybe.  look -- just.
i got it! i got it!
no!
okay.
it's too hard.
doesn't matter. i.  i don't want to come back, that's all.
i'm not coming back! that's it! i want to go home!
is that your version of a pep talk?
fine!
gym!
dad?
i want to see pilgrim.
i'm fine.
why is he in the back? why isn't he in the barn with the other horses?
i really want to see him.
hello, beautiful boy.
i can't find that charm daddy gave me from india.
no, you didn't.
doesn't matter.
what about him?
i think we should. it's not fair to let him suffer. he's not much use anymore. he'd hate living like that.
mom?
maybe they should put me down too.
i mean, i'm not much use anymore. why can't they be compassionate to me?
i'm not going! i don't care what she says!
daddy?.  i don't want to go.
fine -- i'll take my bath.
-- enough time tomorrow. i know.
i don't care.
whatever you want.
fine.
i already did. this morning. when you went running.
i didn't know i had to.
i don't care.
you were never thirteen, mom.
great idea. so now what?
what?
what are you asking me for? you didn't ask me if i wanted to come in the first place -- now i get to decide? forget it!
bullshit! it's about you! about you deciding! about you always being right! you always getting everything your way, controlling everybody -- like we work for you or something!
you just want to get away from daddy and you're using me to do it!
you're amazing! you act like i don't live in that house! don't you think i hear the two of you!? don't you think i can tell what's going on? i'm not five years old, mom! you want to divorce daddy and daddy doesn't want to.
he doesn't have to! it's, like, so obvious you can't stand him.
then why do you want to leave?
no, you just act like you do.
little.
gee, this looks like a fun place.
what would they say? "ten miles to big rock." "twenty miles to bigger rock."
i didn't see it.
mom! the door!
yeah?
she'll be right out. she's on the phone.
probably. she's on the phone twenty- three hours a day.
she's an editor.
not like books or literature or anything. just a magazine.  just in case she hasn't told you -- which i'm sure she hasn't -- i don't want to be a part of this, ok?
isn't it like, obvious?
well, there's nothing else to do around here.
what do i have to do?
i said, what do i have to do?!
what?
only when i kick somebody.
don't you go to school?
i think they call it a pasture.
i know. me, too. why don't you come one weekend?
we'll have more room because we're moving onto the ranch. they have this empty house near this creek. it's actually pretty.  ok.  i love you. dad wants to talk to you.
did you ask him to come visit?
did he mention it?
if i had everything i need, i wouldn't be going to physical therapy.
why? there's no food in the house?
i'll come.
i watched margo neuberger get a tattoo.
did you call dad today?
that's not a question, is it?
i've never eaten this much in my life.
why do you always wear that hat?
drive? i'm not old enough yet.
i can't.
i don't know if i can with my leg.
i don't know if i can.
we bought him in kentucky. my mother and i took a trip down there to see him.
are you afraid of anything?
would you let me ride your horse?
of course i have.
are you going to give me a hand or aren't you?
i thought there were too many forks on the table.
mom, they don't mind eating with one fork.
i'll take care of it.
would anyone like something to drink?
 like, for instance, you can go on the internet and access this thing called the visible man -- who was this murderer they caught in texas that was executed and donated his body to science and you can call him up on the screen and dissect him, like in three-d.
it's from a jar.
it's just my computer.
nothing.
about what?
yeah. does that mean i'm cured?!
 you worried everything all right now and we'll have to go home?
you.  not wanting to go home because you hate daddy so much.
i can't remember the last time you made him dinner.
tom?
yeah, you know everything!!
no, you stop it! stop pretending like you care! like this really isn't about you and tom.
well, now you know what it feels like.
for you! because i'm your daughter which means you're the best mother! isn't that what you're always talking about in interviews -- having it all, the great career, the great family.  proving everybody wrong. wanting everybody to think you're this perfect woman!
yeah, well, you've done a great job.
leave me alone!!
i said.  i started.
my period.
i felt it happen downstairs and when i went into the bathroom.
who's going to want me now?
who's ever going to want me? nobody will.
why should they?
i'm sorry.  about what i said. it's just that -- all those times you and daddy were trying for another kid, i.  i used to pray at night that it would work. and not because of you guys or that i wanted a brother or sister.  but.  just so i wouldn't have to be.
so special. because i was the only one. you both wanted me to be so good at everything, so perfect and i wasn't. i was just me. and now i've completely ruined everything, anyway.
who is it?
sure.
i was waiting for you to come back.
judith was telling me about this boy she really liked. she never even had a chance to tell me his name.
we were going to go around by the railroad bridge.
we were laughing about something, i don't remember what. her horse fell.
 judith's foot was caught in the stirrup.  she couldn't get up, she was so scared.  i saw this truck, coming around the turn.
he was honking, trying to get us to move.  i tried to grab the reins to get judith's horse out of the way.
and the truck started skidding.
it was coming right at us.  there wasn't any time to do anything.  it ran right into judith's horse.
judith just disappeared.  and it came right at pilgrim and me.
and pilgrim reared up at the truck and i fell off.
judith.  oh god, judith. i'm sorry.
i know where he goes.
i can't.  not yet.
i don't thinks you'd want me tripping all over you in front of everybody.
you know, you're a good kid.
dad?
did you notice -- no cane?
can we show him pilgrim, tom?
wait till you see this -- we have the whole house to ourselves.
sure.
what does that mean?
i want to watch.
what is he doing this?
that's enough! stop it!
no, you're only going to hurt him some more.
no!
do what?
i did. he said he had work to do until late.
i'll see you home.  ok?
tom's gone.
smokey told me he left last night to look at some horses in sheriden. he won't be back for three days. i can't believe he didn't want to say goodbye.
so do you.
good.
great!