doctor schaefer. doctor schaefer? listen, did you know doctor schaefer was in eight-o-six, because he's dead? i'm just telling you, dr. schaefer is dead. look, i don't know what the hell this is all about, but dr. schaefer is in room 806 with an i.v. running and he's dead. i didn't even know he was sick. well, maybe i'm going crazy. i don't know. isn't room 806 the patient guernsey? i mean, did something happen i don't know about? this is the nuttiest thing i ever saw. dr. schaefer's in room 806 dead. our dr. schaefer. the one who's always grabbing everybody's ass. i mean, he's lying on the far bed, stone dead, and with an i.v. tube sticking out of him. and if you don't believe me, maybe you just ought to get up and look for yourself.