hmmmmm.
the retard over at molly's fruit stand.
fascinating.
christ, ain't they all. all them retards wanna do is fuck and eat.
worse than a fucking rabid baboon.
what?
i'm sure that ain't the only place he's sticking those pencils.
goddamn.
i always loved that mute broad that chuck heston was shacking up with.
yeah, now there's the perfect woman.
yes, i did.  so don't you go stuffin' any goddamn paper towels down that hole. i just snaked the shit out of that thing.
ya hear me? you bust that crapper and i'll beat your ass.
mary fucking moses. get the fuck out of here.
miserable little cunts with guns. i ought to jump right over this counter and bash your fucking balls in.
that's what you bitches need. a reality check courtesy of my boot in your ass. that'll be a fucking cash box you can cry to mamma about.
fuck your mother.
fuck your sister.
fuck your grandmother.
and most of all.  fuck you!
god damn it, that motherfucker got blood all over my best clown suit.
how long is a piece of string? too god damn long, that's how long.
shit, i don't remember exactly. i took over for my pa just after the duke nabbed the oscar.
yeah, my pa wasn't right in the head after that.
hell, boy there some other duke you know about? a great american.
i figured that much. why the fuck you asking so many jackass questions for?
i don't drive cross country.
i don't.
y'all find us country people real funny like don't ya.  well, god damn pack up the mule and sling me some grits, i'ze a gotta get me some schooling.
well fuck me side sally, who want to read about all that horse shit anyway.
hey, knock yourself silly.
anytime this year, people. alright line your asses up in front of the black door. the tour is about to begin.
ladies and gentlemen, you are about to enter a world of darkness. a world where life and death are meaningless and pain is god. to your left you see the infamous albert fish.
sadist, masochist, child killer and most of all importantly cannibal. born in 1870, mr. fish enjoyed burning himself with hot pokers, spankings with nail-studded paddles and embedding needles in his groin. on the right, notice the x-ray.
showing clearly 29 sewing needles inserted in to his groin. mr. fish was executed in 1936 at the age of
to your right. one of our most popular crazies, the psycho of plainfield, ed gein.
murderer, cannibal and momma's little bitch boy. mr. gein found special pleasure in playing with the dead bodies of women, especially their sexual organs. he was quite a handy little dandy, fashioning lamp shades, jewelry and human skin suits from his victims. mr. gein was discovered when the decapitated body of bernice worden was found gutted like a deer, hanging in his barn.
and now i would like to introduce a local hero, s. quentin quale, a.k.a. the butcher boy, a.k.a. nurse nellie and most famously a.k.a. dr. satan.
murderer, torturer and most of all master surgeon. mr. quale an intern at willows state mental hospital, nicknamed weeping willows for its neverending cries of pain, took great pleasure in control. through primitive brain surgery. mr. quale believed he could create a race of superhumans from the mentally ill, or so the story goes. his terrifying experiments continued until 1952.
at which time he was discovered and turned over to authorities for observation. unfortunately, mr. quale was abducted from his cell by members of the victims' families. vigilante justice prevailed and dr. satan was taken out and hanged. the next day his body was found to be missing. some say he survived, rescued by his loyal slaves, others say they hung the wrong man.  to this day no sign of dr. satan has ever been discovered. but who knows? maybe he lives next door to you.
please exit through the door.
ok, alright i'll draw you a map, but i still say it is a waste of time.
whoever's a jerking off on that bell better be gone when i get out there.  'cause i'm gonna rip your nuts off.
officers, officers what can i do for you today? i ain't fried up the birds yet.  if that's what you're ring a ding dinging about.
well, i'll try but i don't know nothing 'bout nobody. i'm a guy who likes to mind his own business, if ya get what i'm saying.
yeah, yeah i seen her. good looking kid, but not really my type.  . i like meaty, eh?
hmmmmmmmmm?
aw, she was with some nosey, smartass high-rise kids. they were poking around.  asking stupid questions.
this and that, mostly some tired dr. satan bullshit.  they got a gander at the display back there and thought they could solve the great deadwoods mystery.
and i gave 'em directions out there, up by the old farm row.  i figured what's the harm. stupid kids probably going out to piss up a rope and got themselves turned around backasswards and got lost as shit.
yeah, they weren't here but a few minutes, didn't really have time to get as up close and personal as i do with most of the assholes that wander through here.
yeah, yeah, sure. you don't have to get all true grit all over my ass.  i'll give'm to ya.  you can knock yourself silly for all i care.
hold on, girly, what's the problem?
well, i don't see what the fuck you're getting at, but i got some friends that live just up this road.