outbid by my own wench, quelle bummere.
for those kind of wages, i could have built the factory in america! they're vietnamese, can't we just give them more bart simpson shirts? i hear depressing news like this and i want to commit genocide! alfred, hold my calls. so, hawk! the hawkster! what do you think of the vehicle?
because i didn't want to get hurt, taterhead.
what can i tell you, i'm the villain. initially it was a priority to keep a lot of buffers between you and me, but since most of them are dead now, i thought what the heck. hawk, you come highly recommended. i would have done some things differently at the auction house, but hey, i want to be in business with you.
i'm sorry, i have to take this. those are valid points though.
you better have a good excuse.  you better have a better excuse! you are so weak! i'm only thankful your ancestors didn't settle america or else my name would be running brave or vomiting antelope. really. well, listen close, babe.
shall we?
so hawkasaurus, i won't mince words.
oh.  let's see. there are organizations that think we wanted the "sforza" for reasons other than putting it in the da vinci museum we're building in vinci. hopefully, these organizations think our plan has been ruined with the explosion of our replica. if i seem vague, grand. we want a low profile on this, that's why i got kaplan and the candy bars involved. i helped george help the mario brothers and gates help get you out.
way to go, alfie! how many people did you break that thing in front of. good help's hard to find.
ladies and gentlemen of the board.
and min-er-va. let's give it up for hudson hawk.
hawkmeister, we got you clothes, great hotel, and a 250,000 lira per diem.
listen hawk, this might be hard to believe, but i'm a regular joe. i just want to be happy and happiness comes from the achieving of goals. it's just when you make your first billion by the age of 19, it's hard to keep coming up with new ones. but now finally i got my new goal. world domination. with your help. bunny. quit that!
ah, the magic word.
it's veja du, hawkhead. something you wish never happened. we shot the entire operation with hidden cameras behind the hidden cameras. hired the guy who did the last sports illustrated swimsuit issue. excellent work.  whoops, damn fotomat assholes.
seven!
haven't you ever seen, like david niven? you know tiptoe in, tiptoe out.
i don't care.
oh, you. there's nothing more i hate than failure. all you had to do was follow the hawk, it's not like i said "teach our nation's children how to read."
i guess we're just going to have to kill 'em.
god minerva, i was kidding.
don't hurt him! we need him for the final job!
come to think of it there is a part of your body that you won't need for your next job.
that's fair. tomorrow. back in rome. now go to your room.
so, captain hawk, in one of your paws you got a gold bar worth about 8 thou. in the autre, you got lead that won't get you gelato.
alchemy! is the business term of the 90's, my man! minerva read about it in an airline magazine about four years ago. i dumped some lira into research.  shazam, we come across a diary by one of da vinci's apprentices detailing la machine de oro, the gold machine for those at home, and the rest is about to become history. money isn't everything, gold is. fuck blue chip stocks! fuck t-bills! fuck junk bonds! i got the real deal! money will always be paper but gold will always be gold!
well, that said, the last ingredient in the recipe is in, get this, you're gonna die, the kremlin.
i'll torture you so slowly you'll think it's a career! i'll kill your family, your friends, and the bitch you took to the prom!
you gotta love male bonding.
i look at you soviet people and i feel.  pity.  superiority. most of your life, your government has told you that capitalism turns people into robots who'd rather eat microwave sushi, naked in the back of a cadillac than hear the laughter of children.
so let's get busy. have some fun and make some deals.
bluntness. how amusingly hungarian. listen up, for reasons i don't want to get into, i recently had to close down a petroleum factory, but i'm going to re-build it here and madonna's going to cut the ribbon! frozen burritos in leningrad. 1982 fantasy. 1992 reality.
you're helping us achieve a goal and in return, i'm giving you a key to the world's executive washroom. don't piss it away.  skoal, amigos.
what a pleasant surprise. you're probably wondering.
and minerva watch the fight with amusement. alfred approaches.
alfred, the getaway car.
that new-york-italian-father- made-twenty-bucks-a-week-son- of-a-bitch. what was our bet? a million?
god-damnit, i only wanted to destroy the world in my own image. i'm a regular joe.
not lenin, anybody but lenin. god, let's talk abut this.