'the einstein of enterprise.' 'the edison of industry.' 'the billion- dollar cranium'.  'idea man'! and not one of you mugs has given me a story on him!!
facts, figures, charts! they never sold a newspaper! i read this morning's edition of the argus and let me tell you something: i'd wrap a fish in it! i'd use it as kindling! hell, i'd even train my poodle with it if he wasn't a french poodle and more partial to the pages of paree soir! but i sure wouldn't shell out a hard-earned nickel to read the dadblamed thing!
suuuure, tibbs, take a break! go to florida! lie in the sun! wait for a coconut to drop, file a story on it -- it'll be more of a grabber than your piece on the commie grain surplus! the human angle! that's what sells papers! we need a front page with heart and the whole idea of the 'idea man' idea can put it there!
yeah, and if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'! i don't want excuses, i want results!
i wanna know what makes the idea man tick! where is he from? where is he going? i wanna know everything about this guy! has he got a girl? has he got parents?
all right, how many? how 'bout it, parkinson, you've been awful quiet over there.
the only thing that runs deep with parkinson is the holes in his ears. yes, the idea man! what're his hopes and dreams, his desires and aspirations? does he think all the time or does he set aside a certain portion of the day? how tall is he and what's his shoe size? where does he sleep and what does he eat for breakfast? does he put jam on his toast or doesn't he put jam on his toast, and if not why not and since when?
well?!!
ahh, you're useless. yes, idea man! creator! innovator! cerebrator! tycoon!--
huhh!!
phony, huh?
sez who?
yeah, well, monkey or not i'm still editor of this rag. amy, i thought you were doing that piece on the f.b.i. -- j. edgar hoover: when will he marry?
well, do a follow-up: hoover: hero or mama's boy? the rest of you bums get up off your brains and get me that idea man story!