uh.  we must never act like apes, son. for you see, the ape is our closest biological relative -- specifically the pygmy chimp. a single chromosome separates us. but you know what truly separates us from the apes, what makes us better than apes?
culture. civilization. refinement. if we do not have these as humans, then we might as well be living in pens and throwing our feces about, masturbating in public.  . sniffing red swollen female rump.
lord, we thank you for this bountiful gift we are about to receive.
that is the wrong fork, young man.
too late. go to your room.
no "buts." go to your room now.
and think about what you've done.
son, your mother and i are doing a production of the gin game at the local community theater. we forgot to take off our make-up.
it's going famously, son, famously!