so, what have you been doing with yourself.  . the last few years?
that's the way you want to do it?
maybe we shouldn't even read. i'll just take your word that you're good.
no. i'm serious. there's all different ways. did you know woody allen never reads actors? he just looks at them, feels around a little and then decides who he wants. that's his way. doesn't hear them do a line. i also have a way. what i do is interview first-- then read--maybe do it all over again the next day. i call up people the actor has worked with--check him out. if he's famous, i do an opinion survey to test how much people like him. if he's not famous, i put him on tape and show it to everyone i can grab. i believe in screen tests; i believe in replacing if the dailies are bad, in cutting people out if the previews aren't there. because i'm not doing movies for theaters where they serve cappucino in the lobby. i'm doing popcorn movies. you want to know what i like? come to my house, look at my lamps.  you won't find it in my movies. in my movies, you'll find out what i know. i know how to do detail. what i don't know, i discover. yesterday we finished mixing a movie--the last scene is in a field of windmills which blows up and all the blades of these windmills slice through the air, one of which hits a four-story tank of propane gas. a humongous explosion scene. i kept on saying 'louder', and they finally said to me they couldn't go louder without distortion. we went louder. we had to discover a thing, a filter, but we went louder. i don't question doing these things. i do them. so if you want to know if it's okay to do it differently--not to talk--to just read first.  i say.  ask him--he's the director.
okay, let's do it. do you have any questions?
this part works tomorrow.
i want you to do it wherever you're comfortable, but i'd prefer it if you were comfortable standing up.
go ahead.
that's okay, he trusts me, uh.  and we're just doing the first page.
you didn't do the quack.
the stage direction says for him to quack.
hopefully because it's funny.
then we're in trouble, because they're already fall down laughing at the teaser-trailer in fifty-two hundred and thirty theaters.
oh, god.  why? why?.  what am i going to do?
look at me. you'd think i was a writer. i hired this kid as a production assistant. his father's a business manager.  a few good clients.
he's been driving for me two weeks.  all he has to do is pick me up on time.  he's twenty minutes late and i have a test screening in the valley. everybody's gone from the office.
yeah.
not just today.  believe me, there's no way you'll ever make it.  you are going to fail. listen, listen-- i know about this; you are going to be a failure.
let's get moving; you said you'd give me a lift.
i'll give you a hundred and twenty dollars to take me.  and it will still be a favor. get out. come on. please. this is very important.
you should leave time for that kind of thing.
yeah, i drive. i don't like to look for parking.
yoga shit. i feel like barbed wire. i don't know if you keep track, but i'm the sixth independent producer ever to have two big pictures scheduled for christmas, and tonight we're testing the first one for the first time.  you get it?
yes. i don't think i would have put it that way.  but, yes.
keep driving. she runs the test screenings. very smart. very. she has a real case on me, but so far i've been keeping it in the bank.
go very slow.
yeah. thanks.
let them in.
i'm glad you came yourself instead of sending your staff.
i wouldn't be surprised if tonight's screening is a monster. could happen, right?
okay.
eisner just said he thinks the screening will be a monster.
make a guess how we did.
nothing good that happens can make it worth feeling the way i do now. nothing.
who the hell are you? this is private.
oh. can i get you some water?
now can i get you some water?
how come you haven't said anything? this is great, right?
what no?
it was such a good score.
thanks. you want to eat something sometime?
good. i'll call you.
you want to do this regularly for me? i was gonna offer, but i thought it would humiliate you.
okay, i got the cards to look at--i think i'll ride back here. maybe i'll drop by your place tomorrow.
yeah, okay. you were very interesting to talk to. i swear to god. honest. no kidding. you really were.
is it okay?
i love this. this is what counts and this is where you count it.
you phone all over--you know what movies they're waiting to see, whether your tv spots are working. you know what the country thinks.
and it's accurate.
and you can't fix it.  right?
like?
i gotta get back.
i gotta get back.
is this urgent?
'cause i gotta go. i'm listening with an eighth of an ear now.
oh, i thought you took off in the middle of the night.
no. it's everett. this kid who used to work for me. he was always crazy to do his own movie.
his movie not only opened to a three million dollar friday--it's gotten great reviews.
listen. i'm tremendously worried about 'ground zero' because of the bad 'want to sees' you sent over. but that's just me being nervous over nothing, isn't it?
nothing good that happens tonight can make it worth feeling the way i do right now. nothing. what do you think?
so you think it'll score big?
what are they doing?
i can fix this.  get some narration written. . . you'll cut 30 minutes. it will come out like butter.
a 47-minute movie.  no, that won't work.
thanks for the support.
can you help?
go ahead.
you look down.
thank you. i appreciate the support.
oh. what if 'ground zero' doesn't do well this weekend?
what?
okay. good. what is it?
is that it? okay, send me.
how about last night?
you're selling very excellent. very excellent presentation.
oh, please.  what's the script?
why not? if you can test movies and premises and want-to-sees, why can't you test screen tests?
what?
why did i rush to you? because i felt like i had to.  be with someone and you were closest. what's wrong?
look, i'm sorry if that came out.
i'm just trying to say that one of the things i'm not great at is.
no, i haven't.
had a conversation about shortcomings.
oh, yeah.  but i didn't get what you meant by 'shortcomings.' hey, if you think things like that, what are you doing here?
i sure hope you're wrong.
not really.
okay. i was going to come in late anyway. i'll get one of the kids to drive me.
so how do you think 'ground zero' will do tonight?
how do you think my movie will do tonight?
how bad can it be? we've got to have at least a two million dollar friday. there's nothing else out there.
i'm watching.
okay, come on.  let's have our creative meeting right here.
very fuckable.
okay.  that's her.  what about him?
you wouldn't want to fuck him?
so you'd want to fuck him?
a director can't make you hot if you're not hot. you'll end up with warm which is death.
let me ask you something.  would you fuck him?
let me stop you before you embarrass yourself.
we all can do our little lectures on what things boil down to. everybody else here was professional enough to come out and say.  i'd fuck her.  i wouldn't fuck him.  and you're ducking it.  i want you to forget the acting stuff and totally focus on the issue.
we do have some kind of responsibility to the audience.  you just saw his screentest.  so, if this is the first time you saw the guy, do you come out thinking to yourself and your girl friends, 'i'd sure go to bed with him; oh god, would he be something.' would you, cathy?.  i'm being real here.
okay, so let's keep looking.
cappuccino movies.
i'm going to pieces.  the picture was budgeted at 21 million and i spent 49 so they were a little mad at me to begin with. now it doesn't open even with an arby's roast beef tie-in.  i mean, we only averaged 300 dollars a theater.  they're going to think i'm woody allen.
thanks. but this is private. what about the exit survey? did we do good with any group at all?
did we do well with any group at all?
i'll see you later. goodbye.
i'm all alone.  at least there's that.
yeah, sure. i have to stay inside during lunch hours now anyway--that's when everybody returns my calls because they're trying to miss me.
yeah. thanks for the support.
we look like jerks eating here this early. everybody's going to think we couldn't get a reservation for the hot hours.
i'm not afraid of them.
normal.
isn't it something that they have you testing the tv show?
what are you talking about?
don't talk to me like this.
she did okay.  and don't worry about matt.  if the pilot sells, his kid will be making five thousand a week. so what do you know about 'people get hurt?'
i knew. i knew. what the hell are you smiling for?
i can't be with someone who's not rooting for me.
don't worry. i'm not that mad. i gotta do this.
sorry. i thought you were someone else.
nan, you know victor and his wife.  and jay and his wife.
thank you. thank you. we're very close.
excuse me, we're working our shit out.  i'm sure it happened to you.  you know, private stuff in public.
hello, nan. i hope it's not too late to call.
i'd like another chance.
see. nobody else gets me. you wanna have a little sex, honey?
hi, matt, this is burke. i'm sorry to bother you at home, but you know nan.  we were going out a little and i could use another guy's slant on what's just happened.
why? did i catch you at a bad time?
oh, you mean about the screentest. the whole room thought you did good work.
yeah, look, i'm not going to bother you about my thing.
look at you. you're all here because of what's on the line for me tonight. having this many people in your corner helps more than i would have ever guessed. i'm just very grateful that i made you come.
what do you think?
i had them bring in two busloads of people from black churches.
i'm not comfortable with television anyway.  it's too small.  i'm much better at something with size.  i don't do itzy. even this movie of cathy's--it's small.  medium small. but with stone it takes on a certain volume where i start to feel comfortable. i hate my life.  . in a way. i had a drink in my office. i'm confused. you're not saying anything. is it because you're not listening or because i haven't stopped talking?
yeah. oh, yeah. i forgot to say congratu.
which one you want?
no. it's the crippled factory owner.
wait a second.
a second--look, they're taking the cast picture now anyway.
she doesn't look anything like the women i usually go with. and you know what they say, "beauty fades." what they don't say is that it fades very slowly.
no. only i can do that. i want you to tell me what to feel.  look. i trust her. more important, everyone does. you have no idea how impressed people are with her. she's smart. she's interesting. you never know what she'll say next.  her work is amazing. i like talking to her. you have no idea what to expect next. i respect what she does more than any writer or director--sincerely-- much more unusual--much more important. so?
dance with me. on a business basis.
i'll take it.
nervous.  look, let's move our thing in a more regular direction.
let me think. what if we go out this weekend.  . with your kid.
whose name is.  leslie.