we all agree this is a very tough time, but i don't want a consensus to form around the premise that conflict is necessarily the primary option at this point.
this paper, authored by one of my aides, liza weld. you don't mind me fore- grounding this do you liza?
illuminates the logistical factors we face. she highlights a number of reasons why, in practical terms, we can't envision a theatre deployment for twelve months.
really - such as what?
which committee?
you did.
have you accidentally alluded to some secret committee? a war committee?
have you heard of this committee?
look - i just think it's worth noting that ministers in the uk government, such as our colleague here .
simon foster .
has made it clear that for them currently war is unforeseeable. isn't that right simon?
whichever committee they don't want me to be a member of, i want to be a member of that. it's a confused groucho marx.
my teeth hurt. i think the veneers are chipped. do they look chipped?
oh, don't look at my teeth.
i don't want to risk a dentist here.
linton has set up a secret war committee, i just know it. i mean, linton is an absolute lunatic, liza. he is dangerous. the voices in his head are now singing barbershop together.
okay - so, priorities are: take a shower, get me on linton's war committee, get me a dental appointment. not necessarily in that order.
linton.
great hotel, thank you.
yes. we had some good discussions. the time at number ten could possibly have been better spent but then.
is chad coming.  ?
so listen, liza, i need you to find out the names of the ten dullest committees currently operating on the hill.
because linton is not going to call it the big horrible scarey war committee. they'll have buried the war committee under the most boring name they can think of. 'diverse strategy committee'- not that, i'm on that. but it'll be a committee that sounds so tedious you want to self-harm.
can you get me general miller at the pentagon? my teeth hurt like hell.
which brings us on to any other business.
or everything you're prepared to discuss.
i understand you've started up a new committee, what's it called?
it was mentioned in our london meeting.
i misheard the word committee?
you're sitting on a new khomeini?
ok. why don't you just recap for me all the committees that you're currently sitting on?
oh don't try to change the subject linton.
okay, liza come with me.
where are at you at with the committees?
well, it's not the first one. i set that one up. does that really sound dull to you? i thought that was a good name.
okay, find out if it is definitely the future planning committee.
i'm not a fucking monster liza, okay? will you stop implying i'm some kind of monster?
i bet you say that to all the girls.
that's why you shouldn't run for senate. too many skeletons in your enormous closet.
that's right, you're passionate about education and housing and what's the other thing?
that's right.
i'd forgotten about that. are you still allergic to that dog?
oh my god, they do have memdication for that. but a beautiful ball sack, though. and how's the pentagon?
is there somewhere we can talk?
what if someone comes in now?
no. just be careful. don't mess stuff up.
er - you've lost me.
your military hardware is impressive.
thousand?
you're shitting me.
uh-huh. tomorrow i've got to meet these brits. simon foster. he's the guy that said war was unforseeable, and i think he could very useful on the committee because he could internationalise the dissent.
liza, where are you?
make yourself more visible.
you can stop talking on your phone now. look, i have to leave. phone simon foster's guy. tell them to come to the war committee. i'll give them some face time around ten o'clock. it'll be coffee and danish. tea. they're going to want tea. tea and sympathy. tea and a handjob, whatever.
you should go to la taverna, the greek place. it's fantastic.
there's the aerospace museum, the national gallery.
and this is your guy?
i'm karen. and i believe you already know liza.
pulled an all-nighter? toby looks to liza for guidance. she's not giving any.
oh who by?
not penny grayling?
right. wow. i didn't know you had so many delegations in town. page 53
well, i need to just check out a couple of things .  this seems like a good point to break things up.
i really appreciate this.
see you at the committee.
hello?
are you joining me or shall i see you there?
"and your mother only ever kept your baby clothes for the purposes of voodoo."
assistant secretary -- here on point 6, it feels like there's an assumption that we'll be invading. should we talk about the practical? i mean this is the war committee after all?
unofficially it's known as the war committee.
but what i'm asking is has a decision been reached in principle to advocate invasion?
what makes you say that?
perhaps mr. foster would have something to say about that?
that's just ridiculous. you have no basis for saying that.
hey, what is it?
er. sure. why?
look, i was going to order food, do you want to eat.
you finally read liza's paper?
yes i want that. i want that, that, that, that and that. those i don't care about. and these let's pack up and drop on north korea.
someone maybe shaped a little bit like you.
you have more gravitas.
i'm not sure he reads. you're a general. have him killed.
this is a private call right -- unrecorded, secure line etc etc?
what's going on simon?
gaza?
where were you in the committee? i called for back-up, you sat there like a dumb sack of shit. maybe worse, cos at a molecular level a bag of shit is probably fizzing with energy.
there is no long game. they've bounced us into a short game. you looked like a. what do you call it in england? a 'wanker
also - the war committee got leaked, and that leak came from your department. page 76
i want action to be taken. i want a head. on a plate. to go.
liza, what's up? why is everyone running around? this better be a fucking fire drill.
shit. karen calls over to a staffer, abbey.
abbey, get me the president's statement.
you work to me, abbey, you fucking work to me. get me the statement. or i will call security and have you escorted off the premises via the window. karen crosses quickly to her office. liza follows.
he needs them to at least abstain in the security council.
yes, we're going to the un.
i should be told this fucking stuff! i'm going into linton's office and pulling the pin on his grenade.
i'm fucking joking.
why didn't you know about this?
don't get funny with me. i am not in the mood.
there it is. simon's going. everyone's saying he's going.
you're still playing the hawk?
we could just tell the press he's going anyway. say he's confirmed to us that he's resigning.
during. then he can't do anything about it.
be realistic. you're being used. we all are. the one thing we can do now to influence things is to resign. sacrifice ourselves. that's our only weapon. page 101
so, i emailed my resignation ten minutes ago. yours should come right after the president's announcement, to have the biggest media impact.
what the fuck george. seriously? you said that the war was intolerable and we'd go together.
you're not a soldier.
you're a politician. you live on canapes and white wine and you have three anecdotes you wheel out at every party and you scour the national papers for mentions of your name. you're a fucking politician.
when was the last time you shot a guy?
you know this is an unnecessary war. it's a war you don't believe in. show me some balls, george.
oh sure, it just so happens they're sitting pretty in a pair of egyptian cotton ralph lauren shorts on a government salary.
come on chad, let's leave the general and his over-stuffed scrotum. we're going to draft our resignation announcements.
okay. general shrek and his faithful talking donkey.