lately i don't like indian people.
third cousin. she's hot right?
way out of your league. dunno why you bothered.
your life is still better than mine.
lately i've been crying in my sleep and waking up in a pool of urine.
so, what are you going to do now?
doubt you'll find one. not much need for an out-of-work writer specializing in the black plague.
i'm the best you're gonna get, man. call me later.
huh?
your name is doug.
it amazes me that i never knew your real name.
it's doug.
your name is mark.
mark suits you much better.
i knew it.
i've always wanted a black friend.
fantastic.
i didn't know they still had those.
aren't you scared you'll get bitten one day?
when's your launch date?
i love your work.
if i could do anything in the world?
i'd bone bitches asses.
if i could change things i would make all the hot chicks bone me.
where are you going?
bone chicks asses. that's what i'd do.
what else would you do, dipshit?
what?
i'll drive.
i'm just as hammered as you. but i don't care if i get arrested. i'm trying to hit bottom.
here comes bottom.
i don't want to go to jail.
yes.
stop laughing, i'm sick.
oh good!
stupid stomach flu.
what are we doing here? we don't have any money to throw away.
what is that, a few hundred bucks? that's not going to last us very long.
no. i have a stomach flu.
oh come on, roulette is the stupidest game of them all. it's pure chance, no skill whatsoever.
you've never had a lucky day in your life.
you did it. you just, like, quadrupled your money. you lucky son of a bitch.
do it again.
this is the most amazing night of my life.
it amazes me the winning streak you're on. you must be the luckiest man in the world.
it was like we couldn't lose.
do you have a system?
well, with your system in just a few weeks i figure we could be the richest people in the world.
well, here's what i'm thinking. we take all the money in the world.  and put it on black.
that's exactly what we'll do.
well, they'd just have to.
well, they'd better find it. they can't let us bet if they're not going to pay us back. they'll have to just give us the casino.
then we'll go to another casino.
so we own all the casino's?
and if we win we can't pay us back because we already have all the money?
only one thing we can do then.
take ourselves into the back room and break our own fingers.
i brought pizza. how come you never told me we all get mansions?
inventing the bicycle is one thing, but this.
good luck out there, man.
who was that?
i don't know why we're laughing. it's really probably very sad for those people.
maybe the man in the sky will tell you something new.
ugh, this shit is so bad for you. i really shouldn't drink this.
it would be the happiest day of my life.
why's that?
but it tastes so good.
no it's not.
see?
you look sad. here, have a brownie. they'll cheer you up.
what?
we're gonna be late.
makes sense people would start getting married at these places. i mean, who you marry decides who's mansion you're going to live in one day. it's a big decision.
what's going on out here? everyone's just sitting in there. are we gonna finish this wedding?