give me any of his lip, will he? huh! i guess he knows now what i think of his job!
scram.
personally, i was raised on a bottle.
ohthe papers
oh, i wouldn't kid you . on the level, it actually happened. nobody bought a paper that day. they followed me all over town and read the news from the seat of my pants.
now, that's a brilliant answer. why didn't i think of it? our conversation could have been over long ago.
now, listen. i'm in a very ugly mood. i put up a stiff battle for that seat. so if it's just the same to you
these seats accommodate two passengers, don't they?
move over, lady. this is a "maybe they do."
are you talking to me?
he got away. i suddenly found myself in the middle of the brush and not a sign of the skunk.
that cadaverous-looking yegg who sat in front of us, just up and took it. boy, how that baby can run!
don't tell me your ticket was in it?
you can wire home for some money when we get to jacksonville.
don't be a fool. you lost your bag. the company'll make good. what's your name?
why, that's ridiculous! they're responsible for everything that
yes.
i hated to wake you up.
good morning.
remember me? i'm the fellow you slept on last night.
you're doing a pretty sloppy job of it.
i found it on the seat.
you'll never get away with it, miss andrews.
just a spoiled brat of a rich man. you and westley'll make an ideal team.
you'll never get away with it, miss andrews. your father'll stop you before you get half way to new york.
that's right. you didn't.
i never thought of that.
mush. mush.
send it collect.
i'd like to sit with myuhwifeif you don't mind.
yeah. come oncome on!
a dollar sixty! . . . you had four dollars last night! how do you expect to get to new york at the rate you're going?
shut up!
what's up?
yeah.
thanks.
yeah. come onwe're stopping here for the night.
i kind of half expected you to thank me.
chalk up one for your side. now listen, you want to get to king westley, don't you? all right, i'm here to help you. what i want is your story, exclusive. a day-to-day account. all about your mad flight to happiness. i need that story. just between you and me i've got to have it.
this? oh, that's a matter of simple mathematics. these cabins cost two bucks a night and i'm very sorry to inform you, wifey dear, but the family purse won't stand for our having separate establishments.
oh, yeah? it's all right with me. go on out in the storm, but i'm going to follow you, see? yeah. and if you get tough i'll just have to turn you over to your old man right now. savvy? now that's my whole plot in a nutshell. a simple story for simple people. now if you behave yourself, i'll see that you get to king westley; if not, i'll just have to spill the beans to papa. now which of these beds do you prefer? this one? all right.
do you mind joining the israelites?
years later his secret came out. he wore a toupee.
i have an idiosyncrasy all my own. you'll notice my coat came firstthen the tiethen the shirtnow, according to hoyle, the pants should come next. but that's where i'm different.
still with me, brat?
not even a mouth organ.
not at all.
who, me? why, i'm the whippoorwill that cries in the night. i'm the soft morning breeze that caresses your lovely face.
yeah. i got a name. peter warne.
don't let it bother you. you're giving it back to me in the morning.
the pleasure is all mine.
i've been thinking about you.
you've had a pretty tough break at that. twice a missus and still unkissed.
goodnight.
heyyou not up yet? come oncome on!
eight o'clock.
here
listen, brati'm going to count to ten. if you're not out of bed by then i'm going to yank you out myself.
you'll find the showersand thingsright back of the second cottage.
certainly, outside. all the best homes have 'em outside.
like what?
heretake mine.
but make it snappy.
your hair's cute like that. you should never comb it.
hurry up and get dressed.
if you didn't waste so much time on that wise-cracking drummerwe'd have been through with breakfast by this time.
i know a couple of truck drivers i'd like to have you meet sometime.
egg. one eggdoughnutsblack coffee. that's your ration till lunch. any complaints?
i'd have gotten you some cream but it meant buying a whole pint.
i thought maybeuh"believe you me" told you a couple of snappy stories.
yeah?
um. you're doing all right.
one consolation; you can never be lonesome.
santa claus?
oh. is that how you met him?
say, where did you learn to dunk, in finishing school?
of course you shouldn't. you don't know how to do it. dunking's an art. don't let it soak so long. a dip and plop, into your mouth. if you let it soak so long, it'll get soft and fall off. it's all a matter of timing. i ought to write a book about it.
just goes to show you. twenty millions and you don't know how to dunk.
detectives!
don't look at me. i didn't marry king westley.
sit down!
well, look your head offbut don't come bustin' in here. this isn't a public park.
i got a good mind to sock you right in the nose.
i'm sorry i didn't take another sock at him.
aw, nuts! you're just like your old man! once a plumber always a plumber! there isn't an ounce of brains in your whole family!
say, you were pretty good. jumping in like that. got a brain, haven't you?
we could start a two-person stock company. if things get toughwe can play some small town auditoriums. we'll call this one "the great deception."
after that "the three musketeers."
no mushy stuff. i'm running this troupe.
i did! it was my idea, wasn't it?
if you don't like it, you can resign from the company.
then i'll fire you. i'll do all the parts myself.
holy jumping! we haven't started to pack yet!
don't be silly. nothing you can do. must be tough on an old womana trip like this.
come on, son. better give your mother a chance to snap out of it.
what happened to your money?
going without food is bad business, son. why didn't you ask somebody?
me? forget it, son.
looks like we're going to be stuck for a long time.
what?
why?
what's on your mind?
you're a pretty shrewd baby.
lucky thing, my running into you. just the man i need.
i can use a smart guy like you.
a gat! a gat!
what's the matter with you! gettin' yellow?
yeah ?how do i know?
where do you live?
got a couple of kids, huh?
you love them, don't you?
if you don'tever hear of bugs dooley?
nice guy. just like you. but he made a big mistake, one day. got kind of talkative. know what happened? his kid was found in the bottom of the
okay. just remember that. now beat it.
at the rate he started, he's probably passed two state lines by this time. the exercise is good for him.
what's the matter?
i don't trust that chatterbox.
first town we hit in the morning, you better wire your father.
okay with me, if you can stand the starvation diet.
it takes money to buy food.
i didn't give him anything . you were the big-hearted gal. how about wiring your father now?
yeah.
aren't you afraid of me?
i wish you'd stop being playful.
this isn't "piggy-back."
you're crazy.
and he carried you like this, i suppose.
i don't think there's a "piggy-back" rider in your whole family. i never knew a rich man yet who was a good "piggy-back" rider.
to be a "piggy-backer" it takes complete relaxationa warm heartand a loving nature.
not a one.
show me a good "piggy-back" rider and i'll show you somebody that's human. take abraham lincoln, for instancea natural "piggy-backer."
aw, nuts!
hold this a minute.
i don't know about you, but i'm going to give a fairly good imitation of it.
what's the matter?
but what!
might get chilly later on.
you've had a lot of men crazy about you, haven't you?
i guess you've pretty much had your own way with them. that's your trouble mostly. you've always had your own way. that's why you're such a mess now.
sure.
i am. i only work when i have to. two years ago i got a notion and went to china. there was a war going on. swell! after a while it got stale. i went down to tahiti. just lay on the beach for six months. what could be sweeter?
i guess not. i'd have given odds it wouldn't mean anything to you.
by a strange coincidence, i was thinking of you.
yeah. i was just wondering what makes dames like you so dizzy.
hitch-hiking.
no. but i've got a penknife.
there it is. better swallow it. we're not going to have any breakfast.
carrots.
uh-huh. want one?
you don't think i'm going around panhandling for you.
i wish you wouldn't talk too much. we let a car get away.
oh, they'll stop, all right. it's a matter of knowing how to hail them.
expert! going to write a book on it. called the "hitch-hikers hail."
you think it's simple, huh?
well, it is simple. it's all in the thumb, see? a lot of people do it
but the thumb always works. different ways to do it, though. depends on how you feel. for instance, number one is a short, jerky movement
number two is a wider movementa smile goes with that onelike this.
oh, that's nothing. now take number three, for instance. that's a pip. it's the pathetic one. when you're brokeand hungryand everything looks black. it's a long movement like this
hm? yeah, but it's no good if you haven't got a long face with it.
something must have gone wrong. i guess i'll try number two.
i guess maybe i won't write that book after all.
what're you going to do?
what for?
why didn't you take all your clothes off? you could have stopped forty cars.
hey, hey, aren't you afraid you'll burn out a tonsil?
no.
what were you going to do? gold dig him for a meal?
eat a carrot.
let's get out and stretch our legs.
hey!
come onget in.
a black eye.
yeah. he finally agreed to let us have a room.
talked him out of it. he thinks we're going to stay a week. i'll have to think of something before morning.
i'm glad you think so. if you ask me, it's foolish. i told you there's no sense in our staying here tonight. we could make new york in less than three hours.
i don't make it a policy to run around with married women.
what do you want to see me for? i've served my purpose. i brought you back to king westley, didn't i?
i probably did the world a great favor at that. got two pinheads out of circulation.
me?
i'm going to swim in the surf with heri'm going to reach up and grab stars for heri'm going to laugh with herand cry with her. i'm going to kiss her wet lipsand
all i'm asking is enough gas to get me to new york. the bag's worth twenty-five dollars.
what?
fine! that's fine, tony. now get me a drink and make sure nobody disturbs me for half an hour.
joe, listen
okay, joe. listenyou know i've always liked you. anytime i could do you a great turnanytime i ran into a story that looked goodi always came running to you, didn't i? well, i got one now. those wires i sent you were on the level. it's the biggest scoop of the year. i'm giving it to you, joe.
that's it.
don't get sore, joe. this is something you got to do for me. i need a thousand dollarsand i need it quick. i'm in a jam.
to tear down the walls of jericho.
never mind . . . listensuppose i should tell you that ellen andrews is going to have her marriage annulled.
that she's going to marry somebody else.
would an exclusive story like that be worth a thousand bucks to you?
well, i got it, joe.
wait a minute, joe. use your bean. i couldn't afford to hand you a phoney yarn, like that. i'd be crazy. there isn't a newspaper in the country'd give me a job after that! i could go to jail!
sure. i wouldn't blame you, either.
i am, joe.
yeah.
i met her on a bus coming from miami. been with her every minute.
listen, palyou've got to get this money for me. now. minutes count. she's waiting for me in an auto camp outside of philadelphia. i've got to get right back. you see, she doesn't know i'm gone.
thanks, pal. you saved my life.
'bye, agnes. you're beautiful. all women are beautiful!
take it easy, dobbin. remember your blood pressure.
better get that toy train out of here. i'm in a hurry.
see that he gets that, will you, agnes? tell him i was just kidding.
hello, joe. sorry. just a little gag of mine. thought i'd have some fun with you.
wouldn't have made a bad story, would it?
yeah, but i don't like the idea of walking in on your jamboree . . . just between you and methose things give me a stiff pain.
yeah.
that's typical of your daughter. takes those things for granted.
why not? i'm not charging you for the time i wasted.
what's the matter? isn't it cheap enough? a trip like that would cost you a thousand dollars!
what ten thousand?
listen, did anybody ever make a sucker out of you? this is a matter of principle. something you probably wouldn't understand.
yeahwith all the trimmings. now, how about the check. do i get it?
if you had half the brains you're supposed to have, you'd have done it yourselflong ago.
you bet i did.
same to you.
i would. but i've got a weak stomach.