grassy-ass, raymundo.
this is where it all went down. "devil's kettle" sounds twisted, i know, but the place just is named after a dumb waterfall.
you'll throw me a bone, huh? huh? you killed chip! you goddamned monster! you. zombitch!
know what this is for? cutting boxes. she takes a swipe at jennifer's crotch. jennifer instinctively clutches herself and rears up in defense. we see jennifer's mouth come down on needy's neck. needy shrieks as if bitten, but continues to strangle jennifer, straddling her and bearing down.
is she dead, mrs. check? did i get her?
hi, roman! how's the force treating you? i like that jaunty cap. blue like your balls.
everything's going to be okay now. i rule.
hey. didn't you used to baby-sit me in like 1998? when my mom worked the overnight at hormel? the female cop fidgets uncomfortably.
yeah. gracie, right? gracie. i really like your hair, gracie. how many cans of salon selectives did it take to erect that monument? the cop reaches into the backseat and slaps needy, who hiccups with laughter.
watch it, puffy combs. that's police brutality!
ugh, don't say attempted. that sounds so jv. small time. teeny- weeny, just like officer duda up there. and trust me-- i'd know. roman swallows nervously, eyes on the road. officer warzak glances at him.
let's get our facts straight: i successfully committed a hard core, fully premeditated murder back there. i fucking destroyed that brat, ok? i, needy lesnicki, put a stop-payment on jennifer check. she slumps down in the backseat.
why am i even in these cuffs? i just saved every guy in this town from becoming satan chow. i'm a hero.
confessions are for pussies. you've got a declaration, grace. she giggles maniacally. roman turns on the radio, violating protocol. it's a soaring rock anthem-- the same song we heard being piped into solitary confinement.
what? she's my best friend. the geeky girl mockingly imitates needy's excited wave.
she's not rich.
what's up, vagisil?
tonight? why?
what's soft shoulder?
it's thursday.
i have to study. jennifer pouts. with an outstretched finger, she draws a dramatic x in the air over needy and boos loudly.
fine. what time is the show?
he seems nice.
okay.
chip, it's a rock show. this is my rock look.
jennifer needs me. she really wants to go see this band. it's extremely important to her.
the lead singer, of course. girls like her don't go out with drummers.
no offense. i mean, she'd probably make an exception for a drummer who was also the lead singer.
who's phil collins?
anyway, this singer guy is like 22, so he could get locked up in the state pen if he actually dated her. but jennifer says he's extra salty, so.
"salty" means beautiful.
jennifer's here.
(straightening her
she's my best friend, chip. remember? this necklace is no joke. chip sighs, resigned. they head downstairs.
wow.
i think she remembered two buttons.
you're gross!
i don't think so.
hey, it's ahmet from india. the foreign exchange guy. he's all by himself.
he seems okay. he's got that cool elephant statue in his locker.
ew! roman duda saunters up to jennifer, swigging a bottle of beer. he snatches the pack of cigarettes away from her.
they look so-- so cool. she gazes at the stage, hearing only the whistling rush of arctic air. in slow motion, the guitarist unsheathes his fender jaguar from its gig bag. he notices her staring and runs the tip of his tongue over his lips. needy swallows hard.
no!
hey, if you don't mind me asking, why did you want to play all the way out here in devil's kettle? you live in the city, right?
those guys are rank, jen. just forget about it.
only because he thinks you're a virgin. i heard them talking.
oh my god.
he's way too old for you.
i know where to go! needy grabs jennifer by the elbow and pulls her into the tiny bathroom. choking on smoke, they climb onto the sticker toilet and boost each other out the bathroom window. hundreds are still trapped inside, screaming.
you're okay, i promise. you got burned worse when you wore that tin-foil bikini to the beach. everything's fine. suddenly, a hand clamps onto jennifer's shoulder. both girls jump. it's nikolai, his forehead creased with false concern.
we're great. maybe you should try to find your band?
aren't you a little freaked out about this? what about all your stuff? it's probably melting, and when you get to the next stop you'll have to do like, a crappy acoustic set! nobody likes that.
why? why should we? we have the malibu. let's just get out of here. we can go to el ojo and get northwoods nachos with extra badger sauce! please? i'm starving.
thank god you're there. i hoped you were sleeping with your phone.
jennifer's gone. she ran off with that rock band. and the carousel burned down. chip sits bolt upright
no. i think they're mostly dead.
we went out the bathroom window. everyone else was trying to use the door. it was like a stampede. the people who fainted got run over and you could hear their bones breaking.
there was all this screaming and popping, like a million black cats all going off at once. and the smell.
no! anyway, it took me like an hour to walk home. but jennifer's still with those creeps! they had one of those white molester vans with no windows. the back was all blacked out.
swing shift. listen, i'll call you in a minute. stay awake.
um, jennifer? jennifer says nothing and continues to smile with blood- tinged teeth.
what happened? utter silence. then a dripping sound. needy looks down and sees large drops of blood spattering the linoleum. jennifer continues to smile, staring directly at needy.
jennifer! but she's long gone.
you-- you're all right!
last night. at my house. you were hurt. you had two black eyes and blood everywhere and.
a lot of people died, jennifer. they burned to death, or they choked, or they just got trampled. more than half of the people there didn't make it out. it's like, all over the news. national news. kids are dead. parents are dead.
we know everyone!
i don't get it. what's wrong with you? jennifer applies lip gloss and smacks her lips together.
there's no way i dreamed it. no way.
work, you. twat! swiff, darn it! swiff! swiff!
shoot.
no anything today.
i feel guilty just breathing.
chip, i need to tell you something kind of weird. it's about jennifer.
you know last night when we were talking and someone came to my door? that was jennifer. but she didn't talk. she just stood there, smiling at me, but a bad kind of smile. she looked like she'd been beat up or shot or something. she was all bloody.
and then she barfed up this disgusting prickly stuff that was like roadkill and sewing needles all mixed together. she shudders at the memory
yeah, like almost that bad! chip and needy ponder the grotesque image in silence.
no. it was something evil.
chip, i'm a national merit scholar. i don't tell whoppers and i'm not crazy.
discombobulated?
oh. hi, colin.
uh-huh.
thanks.
i just am. we have composition together. he's a really good writer. you know-- he's so dark and emotional and all.
walk me home?
that's the thing, it's not a blur at all! i remember everything, in like ultra-high-def detail. the band, the fire, everything. especially what happened after.
please, i need someone to believe me. jennifer was-- she was destroyed. she was dying in my hallway, chip. i saw. i used my cpr training to check her pulse. and i felt her dying, on the inside, i mean. i've known her so long that it's like sometimes i can feel what she feels. we're like e.t. and elliot ness.
thanks, chipper.
fried bologna is the bomb! you want some, greedo? she tuns on the kitchen radio and is surprised to hear a very familiar song: "through the trees," by soft shoulder. suddenly, she pauses, a look of unease and even fear crossing her face. she stops and braces herself against the counter, her knees shaking. something isn't right. she drops the sandwich. greedo goes straight for it.
something's wrong.  as needy sinks to her knees, she stares straight ahead at the refrigerator. a photo magnet of jennifer leers back at her.
crap! needy's mom, antonia "toni" lesnicki, has quietly entered the kitchen in her pajamas. she's pale and sweaty, as if she's been spooked.
oh, hi, mom. i didn't know you were awake.
it's four o' clock, so technically you had a day terror.
what did you dream about?
you know, i can take care of myself, mom.
hey mom? did you get a chance to catch the news after you clocked out this morning?
nothing. forget it.
yes ma'am. toni shakes her head and heads upstairs.
needy speaking.
good for you.
yeah.
lucky you. see, i'm still kind of depressed about, you know, the giant smoldering funeral pyre in the middle of town?
that's really nice.
jesus didn't invent the calendar.
that's my other line.
it'll just be a second.
i can barely hear you.
fifteen. back on jennifer: jennifer is impatiently dragging a razor down her arm. blood drips onto the rug. she smiles, in awe of herself.
i have to go.
i have to meet chip at mccullum park.
why are the cops at your house?
what?! like, he was shot by gangbangers?
some animals must've got to him.
who would do that?
this can't be a coincidence.
a fiery death trap last night, and now a cannibal eats our starting tight-end? come on!
seriously chip. most small towns only have something gruesome happen like, once every decade maybe. devil's kettle gets two nightmares in 24 hours? it's freaktarded. it's not right.
i don't know. i'm extremely intelligent but i obviously don't know everything.
you're shaking.
want my sweater?
pink is cool. rap guys wear pink. she's shaking now, too. chip leans forward and kisses her. she closes her eyes. in the chaste space between chip and needy's bodies, the volleyball-pit couple fuck like rabbits. dissolve to:
are you pms-ing or something?
oh. mr. wroblewski clears his throat, annoyed by their talking.
what about the other 97%?
the other 97%. i mean, that's just crass. right? she looks around for support, finding none.
crass. it means scummy. greedy. am i the only one who actually does the vocab drills?
no, they're not. i was there, chastity. they didn't actually help anyone escape the fire. i don't even know how that rumor got started.
oh, that's crap.
they've milked our pain-- our loss- - to get a stupid record deal! no one would even know who they were if they hadn't been playing here that night. they used us.
i'm already sick of that song.
no offense, but you look kind of drained. is everything all right?
what's wearing off?
that was random.
colin's a really nice guy.
no. he was just asking jennifer out on a date. chip looks relieved.
sure. i'd like that.
thanks.
i didn't assume that.
mmm.
no, this is nice.
oh. cool.
oh. it's got little bumps on it. i can hardly wait.
i have to go. i'm sorry. i just.  feel like something. something terrible.
i'm so sorry, chip. i'm so sorry. everything is just wrong. she bolts out the room, leaving chip naked and alone. he pulls his knees up to his chest, vulnerable.
fudge! fudge! maple fudge!
mommy! mommy? please be home!
i never tell on you.
get out!
what the fuck is happening?
i saw you! i saw you! the car. the. i.
i'm calling the police.
what do you want?
yeah, it rings a bell.
what did they do to you?
they. killed you.
i remember.
what do you mean, "when you're full"?
what about my mom's kia? why did you attack me out there? why were you covered in blood? you didn't even look human. jennifer rolls her eyes.
get out!
what are you doing?
i gotta show you something.
not here. behind the school.
evidence.
yes, but i promise you this is the last thing i need to show y--
please just let me show you. her gaze is so intense and crazed that chip has no option but to submit. he nods reluctantly.
look at this. she thrusts a piece of paper into chip's hands.
demonic transference. it's something that happens when you try to sacrifice a virgin to satan without using an actual virgin! chip stares at her.
i think that's what happened to jennifer. those guys from that band were trying to sacrifice her in the woods. but what they didn't realize is that she hasn't been a virgin since junior high! jennifer's a total cum-dumpster! it all makes sense now! read this.  she grabs the piece of paper from him.
she's eating boys! they make her strong. really strong. and when she's hungry, she gets weak and cranky and her hair is all full of split ends. and look at this.  she holds up one of the printouts.
it says that before the demon feeds, it vomits a gruesome substance on its prey. like i saw!
and possibly ahmet from india.
no. no! of course not!
no. listen, i'll make an appointment with mr. feely. i'm real sorry about this sudden onset of teenage paranoia.
this has been a crummy school year, chip.
listen, i'm done with all that devil stuff. do you know what you're wearing to turnabout?
i don't know yet.
oh yeah, your mom's an avon lady.
right. well, i'll try to find something magenta.
i look pork stupid.
who's cindy crawford?
ow! you're too close to my neck.
gross, mom. chip isn't that ostentatious.
what are you doing to my hair?
chip!
where's chip?
he walked? mrs. dove, you mean to only tell me that in these dangerous, godless times-- you let your only son walk alone at night?
which way did he go?
i'm coming! she flings herself over the top of the fence, her body slamming against the concrete pool deck. her arm snaps. it's a compound fracture, the bone thrusting through the flesh of her arm as she screams.
holy crap!
saint jude, patron saint of hopeless causes: please give me the power to crush this bitch. jennifer looks up with demonic, bloodshot eyes just as needy leaps off the diving board. needy lands on jennifer's shoulders, taking her out. she wraps her legs around jennifer's neck and drags her under the water. jennifer emerges. needy grabs her by the hair and girly- slaps her furiously across the face. then she spots the pepper spray lying by the side of the pool. she grabs it and sprays it in jennifer's eyes. jennifer shrieks and vomits nasty, spiny gore all over needy and chip.
she's just hovering, chip. it's not that impressive. jennifer speaks in a metallic, demonic-sounding voice.
you're a jerk.
you know what? you were never a good friend. ever. even when we were little. you used to steal my toys and pour lemonade on my bed and make me be ugly ashley when we played barbies!
why do you need him? huh? she begins to weep.
the cutest guy in school. the mailman. a teacher. you could probably even have a huge star like chad michael murray. so why chip? why him? is it just to piss me off? or is it because you're insecure?
yeah, two years ago. when you were socially relevant.
you were skinny then, too! a look of abject horror on jennifer's face. she reels back against the chain link fence, her eyes blazing.
where are you going?
oh, chip!
i'm gonna call for help.
i think 911 is always a free call.
it's not working. it's full of jennifer-goo.
no! you're not going anywhere!
i love you.
you're clearly delirious.
i'm never leaving.
no! chip's eyes close. his face relaxes. he's gone. needy wails at the top of her lungs. she rests her head against his mutilated chest, oblivious to the blood and bone.
did you know the original goths were a germanic tribe that settled in rome? they didn't wear black. they wore regular linen tunics. i don't know why nobody else knows that.
you didn't play your hit yet. but they're gone. needy looks out at her classmates. they stare back. she
trouble was, some of us would never wake up.
she left an insanely hot corpse.
east, toward madison.
i don't have any money or drugs, so you'll have to settle for ass.
i'm following this rock band.
tonight's gonna be their last show.
	196:
i'm sorry i didn't do it sooner.
i like toastems.
do you buy all your murder weapons at home depot? god, you're butch.
cross out jennifer! jennifer gasps, staring at her wounds in shock and disbelief. she looks back up at needy. a beat of silence. suddenly, the girls' bodies levitate rapidly toward the ceiling. they wrestle in a bloody, screaming airborne heap, their figures entwined. their bodies fall, collapsing back onto the bed with a thud.
my tit! suddenly, the room is flooded with bright light, revealing a needy straddling jennifer's mutliated body. jennifer's breathing is a raspy death rattle. mrs. check, a middle-aged woman in bad sleepwear and a worse perm rushes into the bedroom.
needy? needy drops the boxcutter. it lands on jennifer's copy of flag team quarterly, splashing the model with fresh gore.
you killed jen-- jennifer-- i mean, the victim. are you on something?
this is going to be a circus.
are you jealous?
boo! cross out needy!
yeah, mom says he's got a huge.  heart. so huge he gave her a recurring bladder infection. wear something cool, okay?
needy, quit tampooning yourself and get down here!
guess who's got the whip `til 11:30? a 2003 chrysler sebring and it's all mine.
have you guys been fucking?
look, there's the band!
yeah! soft shoulder, right? i've heard you guys are super, super good at playing your instruments.
mmm. jennifer hurries off toward the bar.
it's so hot, needy. i think i'm on fire. oh god, i'm burning!
i want to see your van. c'mon needy, let's go to the van.
hey, niedermeyer.
oh cheese and fries! someone's here. i'm alone, chip. i'm freaked out!
holla back. needy hangs up the phone and rushes downstairs. as she passes through the shadowy kitchen, appliances hum all around her. the silence is menacing.
j-jen?
are you scared? needy nods. jennifer parts her lips. then suddenly, she stops and pulls away, pushing needy to the floor. jennifer bolts out the front door and takes off running down the street. needy is motionless for a moment, then stumbles toward the doorway.
i heard needy and jennifer were there and they had to fight their way out with a machete.
we had to go out that window. the bar was like, engulfed in flames!
here comes handi-snack.
oh look, they're united in grief. that'll last.
i heard you were there last night. in the fiery trenches.
oh. hey, jennifer.
hey, you know what else craig said?
feel my heart, jonas. i think it's broken.
jennifer! jen.
of course.
yes you are.
i gotta go.
no, needy! do you see anyone rollin' on dubs around here?
someone ripped jonas limb from limb in the woods behind the school. ate parts of him. they found teethmarks on him-- on the body. his voice cracks. we see a brief, terrifying flash of jonas's mutilated body and pain-stricken face. needy doesn't want to believe it.
through the trees, i will find you.
are you okay?
are you on pot?
how did you know?
hi chip. needy puts her arm around chip protectively.
"sensual swirl?"
no way.
hopeless. hopeless.  chip opens his eyes.
it's her.
buh-buh-buh. slow down, tardy slip. you sound like a sped.
nikolai.
sure, man.
do you want to be rich and famous like the guy from maroon 5? or do you want to be a huge suicidal loser?
maroon 5.
my name is jennifer.
maybe you could just hire a publicist. make some t-shirts or something. hey, i could be on your street team!
start chanting, boys.
maybe it did.
leave!
is this about jennifer?
needy, i care about you. a lot. as a person, not just a girl i made love to for four minutes the other night. and i'm scared of what's happening to you. you're acting really fucked up.
demon. demonic.
"if the human sacrifice is impure, the result may still be attained, but a demon will forever reside the soul of the victim. she must forever feed on flesh to sustain the demon." see? chip looks more dubious than ever.
my hormones and emotions are aswirl, and my moods are erratic.  chip isn't totally convinced, but his face softens.
aw, jeez mom!
your abortion.
okay, you know needy's been a total lithium candidate since the night colin gray died. but that's not just because he was brutally murdered and stuff. it's because. i don't wanna say this.
you're better than needy. jennifer smiles, satisfied.
well, hi there camille! is chipper home?
he left for the dance at least twenty minutes ago. he certainly should have been there by now.
chip! a terrified scream in the distance. needy whips around, hikes up her skirt and starts running toward murphy pool.
needy!
she can fly?
why do you need the one guy who's ever liked me? you can have anyone, jennifer!
i thought you only murdered boys.
we hurt you.
why give up now? he's almost dead! get your bulimic ass back here and kill us both!
hey, i'm going somewhere.
just watching your old man try to suck the ugly off your face.
"through the trees, i will find you. heal the ruins left inside you"
". and the stars will remind you, we'll meet again"
". we'll meet again." a small creek emptying into a stream runs parallel to the road. needy seems something glinting at the mouth of the creek and stoops to pick it up. it's nikolai's bowie knife, the one he threw into devil's kettle, never to be seen again. needy picks it up and tucks it into her waistband. a station wagon comes rattling up the road. needy sticks her thumb out again. the wagon pulls over to the side of the road. the driver, a grizzled older man, rolls down the window. he eyes needy lasciviously.