no. i hear that you hear what i'm saying. but do you hear what i'm saying?
alright, we're just getting started on my list of things you need to know. take notes if you want to.
good, 'cause see, i am a valuable commodity. i go across the middle. i see the ball and a dude coming right at me, wanting to kill me, i tell my brain "get killed, catch the ball." that's new york steak, baby. rare. and yet, nobody's giving me love. nobody's giving me props. nobody. i went to arizona state, i'm from arizona, i break arizona records, i'm a sun devil, man!!!
exactly. and i'm sitting here with an ant problem, look! and my brother tee pee's room is flooded with water. say hello to jerry maguire --
-- the house is fallin' apart, we don't even know where we're gonna live in a year, and i'm supposed to be a "superstar," man! are you catching my flow, here?
-- now to recap, i want to stay in arizona, i want my new contract, i like you, you're nice to my wife, i will stay with you, that's what i'm doing for you, but here's what you're gonna do for me. you listening?
it's a very personal, very important thing. it's a family motto. so i want to share it with you. you ready?
here it is. "show me the money." show. me. the. money.
now doesn't that just make you feel good to say it? say it with me.
congratulations. you're still my agent.
no man, i'm not hootie.
hey man, i wish i had a quarterback like you in arizona. you're the shit.
well you ain't that mothafuckin good.
i said -- last i heard, jesus christ was still in heaven. and you ain't even played in the nfl.
hey, man, i dig check e. cheese.
heard that.
why the fuck am i here? i feel like i'm five years late for the prom.
a'right. let's walk.
i came all the way here for that? to walk the lobby?
let's do it again.
you believe they're shooting a nike ad down there? did i ever tell you my nike story?
okay, i understand. i'll boil it down for ya. fuck nike. all they do is ignore me.
you're loving me now, aren't ya?
good. i was just testing ya. but just you saying that? makes me love ya.
sure you don't want to go out and find some karoake? i'm a very good singer, man --
i might call you later!
you love me now, don't you?
everybody on this show cries now.
you feel bad you tested positive? quit doing blow! you feel bad about your baby girl? why did you leave the mother?
huh?
well, boo-fucking-hoo.
no.
you are not allowed to act this way.
man, i got a shelf life of ten years, tops! my next contract's gotta bring me the dollars that'11 last me and mine a very long time. i'm out of this sport in five years. what's my family gonna live on? what you get me. so i don't want to hear about ya shit, your "nya nya nya."
anybody else would have left you by now, but i'm sticking with you. i said i would. and if i got to ride your ass like zorro, you're gonna show me the money.
did you tell him about the "ten million for four years?"
john taylor. j.j. stokes. andre rison. i smoke all these fools, and yet they're making the big sweet dollars. they're making the money, and i got an agent that ain't even put the number on the table.
maybe you don't. because it's not just the money i deserve. it's not just the "coin." it's the.
-- the kwan.
yeah, man, it means love, respect, community.  and the dollars too. the package. the kwan.
i got there from "coin," dude. coin, coin.  kwaaaan.
no, i air-dry.
is that your porty or mine?
hi baby. yeah, i'm just breakin' in the new agent. he says i'm not marquee. i know.  i know.
my wife is upset with you.
you're telling me to dance.
"love me love me love me.  put me on t.v." that's the iconography of rascism, man!
do your job, man, don't tell me to dance.
i'm an athlete, not an entertainer. these are the abc's of me. get it? i don't dance.
what's wrong.
no tell me.
you're hanging by a very thin thread, dude. and i dig that about you.
see, man, that's the difference. between us. you think we're fighting, i think we're finally talking!
i feel like crying. i feel like breaking the room up.
no shit.
tell me what to do, jerry. you tell me to eat lima beans, i'll eat lima beans.
can i speak with my agent here?
honey, you are just --
-- the shit.
won't happen. i'm strong in my mind.
bet on me, dude. bet on me like i bet on you.
good deal, man.
dude, know your art form. if you put the camera down here, looking up, i look more powerful. there's no need for a camel.  you got me.
jerry, back me up. it's either the camel or me.
there you go, dude. you're learning how to represent me. we ain't gonna bring nike to their knees with some regional camel ad --
oh, we gonna be friends now?
oh i know plenty. i was raised by a single mother.
first, single mothers don't "date." they have been to the circus, you know what i'm saying? they have been to the puppet show and they have seen the strings. you love her?
you know when you know. it makes you shivver, it eats at your insides. you know?
then you gotta have the talk.
well, that ain't fair to her. a single mother, that's a sacred thing, man.
no. a real man does not shoplift the "pooty" from a single mom.
shame on you. shame on you.
you never had the talk, did you?
well, this was another way to go.
this is my agent, man! and we're all gonna have a great season!
tidwell moves to a tan in a wheelchair, signs an autograph and moves on. jerry alongside. the quarterback sucks, man. he's gonna get me killed.
i'm worried too. i'm worried that the only reason i'm here getting my brains blown loose is that you weren't asshole enough to get my ten million three months ago.
peace, my drunken brother. ahd don't discuss gambling with me.
no.
hey, that's my word, okay?
i'm gonna have the game of my life on monday night football, and show all these motherfuckers.
don't i know. now go home to your wife.
why are you even here, man? you could have told me all this over the phone.
you don't want to go home, do you?
i'm asking you a question --
i'm trying to talk to you. how's your marriage?
then why'd you get married? i'm asking you as a friend.
i'm sorry i asked.
that's an answer.
for loyalty, you buy a dog. for love, you get married.
why not --
i think so.
i don't want to be friends anymore.
beautiful.
only 'cause my wife likes your wife!
"no heart." "no heart?" i'm all heart, motherfucker!
i hate you going to movies alone withoutme --
what baby?
shouldn't you be out there doing some pickle dance or something -- pickle man nods and goes out to dance for the crowd.
get outta here. go.
don't know.
jerry! you made it --
thanks for coming.
wait.
yeah. just let me enjoy this for a minute.
nike.
we did it.
one love.  you got to share it.
no, roy. i'm not gonna cry.
i.  i love everybody, man. i love my wife. my kids. little tyson. my new baby kaydee. my brother tee pee. i love my friends, my teammates, who am i leaving out?
wanna send some beautiful love out to my offensive line, just a beautiful bunch of dudes, wanna thank a beautiful individual -- god, and of course the entire arizona organization, a little slow, but they do come around. i'm leaving somebody out.
oh yes. jerry maguire! my agent! this is a fierce, loving individual, i love this man, he is love, he is about love -- my ambassador of kwan.
and i love my fans, of which he is one. wanna thank them for all my sundays, and of course my monday nights too. that about says it.
wait! and thank you melvin from the casual man, thank you for the suit.