do you remember me, mr. garrison? i met you on carondolet street right after your election. i congratulated you, remember? do you mind if i smoke, mr. garrison? that's not true. i never met anybody named oswald. anybody who told you that has to be crazy. no. if he did, i don't remember him. there were lots of kids in and out. y'know. no, i never saw him before in my life. yeah, now that's true. i drove to houston. i hadn't been there ice skating in many years, and i had a couple of young friends with me, and we decided we wanted to go ice skating. oh, it was just a spur of the moment thing. the storm wasn't that bad. we went straight to houston, and then saturday night we drove to galveston and stayed over there. no particular reason. just to go somewhere. in the morning we went goose hunting. then headed home, but i dropped the boys off to see some relatives and i stayed in hammond. i believe the boys got a couple. oh yes, well, come to think of it, they're right. we got to where the geese were and there were thousands of them. but you couldn't approach them. they were a wise bunch of birds. yes, now i remember, mr. garrison. i'm sorry, i got confused. we got out there near the geese and it was only then we realized we'd forgotten our shotguns. stupid, right? so of course we didn't get any geese. why? what's wrong? willie, say hello to leon oswald. leon's in a bad mood, don't get excited, he's all right. we're having a little meeting here. that's castro. sounds like hitler doesn't he? sonofabitch is going to go. real soon. clara, don't be so sensitive. okay, okay. kennedy fucked us in '61, '62, and he's fuckin' us now! and that fuckin' zealot bobby kennedy is the fuckee! the nerve of that little asswipe closing the camps. took all our c- 4! took ten thousand rounds, 3,000 pounds of gunpowder, all our weapons. next we'll be living in a world where only the cocksucking reds will have all the weapons and we'll be surrounded. if we want a free cuba, we gotta whack out the fucking beard. bullshit! there's all kinds of new stuff. i heard about rockets in an umbrella - they're tested at fort detrick? i can show you a dozen poisons. stick it in his food, he'll die in three days, no trace. we can put something in his beard, make it fall out, he'll look fuckin' ridiculous without his beard. see, what kennedy done, with him you should take a knife and stab and kill the fucker where he is now. i mean it. this is true. but i tell you something. i hope i get a week's notice. i'll kill. right in the fuckin' white house. somebody's got to get rid of this fucker. no? it won't be long, mark my words. that fucker'll get what's coming to him. and it can be blamed on castro. then the whole country'll want to invade cuba. all we got to do is get kennedy in the open. no problem if it's planned right. look how close they got with de gaulle. eisenhower was always riding around in an open top. i know somebody who actually went up and touched eisenhower once. we need to have three mechanics at three different locations. an office building with a high-powered rifle. triangulation of crossfire is the key. you get the diversionary shot gets the secret service looking one way - boom! you get the kill shot. the crucial thing is one man has to be sacrificed, then in the commotion of the crowd the job gets done and the others fly out of the country to someplace with no extradition. i could do that myself. i could fly to mexico, and then brazil. ouch! you're mine, mary. go get the fucking tools out, bitch. now! i want some ass. come here, bitch. you want this? the only way you get this is do what i say. i'm the man. don't ever forget it. you want it? you want it? fuck you and your rich friends. you're nothing but a rich whore! you're my woman! get the cat! strip! now, woman. i want to see skin. you know damn well who it is. yeah, you got it. since you're the only straight shooter in that fuckin' office, i'd like an answer from you. did you plant it? somebody planted that fucking story! and somebody tipped off the press i'm one of garrison's fucking suspects. i can't go home. i'm out on the street. the maggots are everywhere! do you know what you've done to me? it's all over the national news now. you know what you've done to me? i'm a dead man! from here on, believe me, i'm a dead man. you think your investigation's been all that secret? you know, when you talk to people, they talk to other people. you still questioning any cubans? it leads farther than that. the fontainbleau? 20 minutes? give me protection? i got no place to sleep. i'll meet you in 20 minutes. i'm caught in the middle. they're after me. it's almost over. i don't know who to trust anymore. yeah, sure i could use a pot of hot coffee and a few packs of camels. you got anything new in the investigation? oh, you got that? banister's pet project. getting paid by the government to work against the government. beautiful. what a mind he had, what a guy, guy. he had all those files. you think i was a getaway pilot for the assassination, don't you? everybody! the agency. the mob. the cubans. yeah, follow the cubans. check them out. here, in dallas, miami. check out a guy named eladio del valle. my paymaster when i flew missions into cuba - he's somewhere in miami. you're on the right track. hold it! hold it! i'm not cooperating with anyone. there's a death warrant for me, don't you get it? wait a minute. you're not bugged, are you? i don't have much time. they don't even need bugs anymore. they got these fuckin' satellite waves. they put a bug in a friend of mine when he was born, right up his nostrils, subcutaneous, between his eyes. he was one of those products of a crossbreading experiment. a nazi rocket scientist father and a commie spy mother. you'd never believe half the shit the agency does. i'm so fuckin' tired. haven't slept since that shit article came out. why'd you guys have to go and get me involved with this? that cocksuckin' faggot! he's got me by the balls. photographs - compromising stuff. and he'll use 'em. the agency plays for keeps. i knew oswald. he was in my civil air patrol unit. i taught him everything. a "wanna be," y'know, nobody really liked him cause he was a snitch. i treated him good. he'd talk about his kid, y'know, really wanted her to grow up with a chance, but. he got a raw deal. the agency fucked him. just like they're gonna fuck me. fuckin' a. how do you think the agency gets people to do their bullshit? fuck knows what they got on oswald! who is it? same one. i didn't know no impersonator. black, black - just give it to me. shit. i'm so exhausted. my neck is killing me. i've got cancer. had it for years. i been working with mice, y'know, trying to come up with a cure. you make it sound like some remote fuckin' experience in ancient history. man, you never leave the agency. once they got you, you're in for life. shaw's an "untouchable", man - highest clearance. shaw, oswald, the cubans - all agency. jack? jack was a pimp. a bagman in dallas for the mob. he used to run guns to castro when he was still on our side. check out jack youngblood. shit - we almost had castro. then we tried to whack him. everybody's flipping sides all the time. it's fun 'n' games, man fun 'n' games. they're agency, too. don't you get it? cia and mafia together. trying to whack out the beard. mutual interests. they been doing it for years. there's more to this than you dream. fbi fucking hates the cia. navy intelligence got something to do with it too. check out "alan pope" in miami. jack youngblood. bill harvey. colonel roselli. the shooter, i hear, was a dallas cop - the bagman at ruby's club. i heard he shot his own partner. got that? check out the rich fucks in dallas. h.l. hunt. he's dirty. that's all i know. but the agency always runs the show. check out something called "mongoose" operation mongoose. government, pentagon stuff, they're in charge, but who the fuck pulls whose chain who the fuck knows, fun 'n' games man - check out southeast asia - that's the next big number - the heroin trail. "oh, what a deadly web we weave when we practice to deceive." oh man, why don't you stop. this is too fuckin' big for you! who did kennedy? it's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma. even the shooters don't fuckin' know! don't you get it yet? i can't be talking like this. they're gonna kill me. i'm gonna die! i don't know what happened. all i wanted in the world was to be a catholic priest - live in a monastery, study ancient latin manuscripts, pray, serve god. but i had this one terrible, fatal weakness. they defrocked me. and then i started to lose everything. shit! forgot to glue this fuckin' rug today. you know, at one time i even had a full head of hair like everyone else. and then i lost that. that fuckin' clay shaw. i hate the bastard. all i got left is in his rotten, bloody hands. he tipped the newspapers - i know it. that's how the agency works. they use people, chew them up, spit 'em out. now it's my turn. they'll get to you, too - they'll destroy you. they're untouchable, man. i'm so fucking exhausted i can't see straight. yeah, yeah. but leave me alone for awhile. i got to make some calls.