juno? did you happen to barf in my urn? mac, you know that nice urn by the front door, the one i got up in stillwater? i found some weird blue shit, i mean stuff, gunk, in there this morning.
hon, did you get expelled?
well, i was just asking. it seemed plausible.
oh, god.
i didn't even know you were sexually active!
nails? really?
he just doesn't look, well, virile.
junebug, that is a tough, tough thing to do. probably tougher than you can understand right now.
honey, had you considered, you know, the alternative?
well, you're a brave young lady. you're made of stronger stuff than i thought. you're a little viking!
first things first, we have to get you healthy. you need prenatal vitamins. incidentally, they'll do incredible things for your nails, so that's a plus. oh, and we need to schedule a doctor's appointment. find out where you're going to deliver.
why don't you girls go upstairs for a while? i think mac's gonna blow.
i think kids get bored and have intercourse. and i think junebug was a dummy about it. but we have to move on from here and help her figure it out.
you're not going to be a pop-pop. and juno's not going to be a ma. somebody else is going to find a precious blessing from jesus in this garbage dump of a situation. i friggin' hope.
oh god yeah. but i was hoping she was expelled or into hard drugs.
oh mac, no! he's a sweet kid. you know it wasn't his idea.
would you look at that?
what? i'm not made of stone.
wait, what's that supposed to mean?
they could be utterly negligent. maybe they'll do a far shittier job of raising a kid than my dumbass stepdaughter ever would. have you considered that?
what is your job title, exactly?
i said, what-is-your-job-title, missy?
well i'm a nail technician, and i think we both ought to stick to what we know.
you think you're special because you get to play picture pages up there?
my five year-old daughter could do that, and let me tell you, she is not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. so why don't you go back to night school in manteno and learn a real trade!
where the hell have you been, junebug?
a couple of hours? why are you going up there in the first place?
you could have sent it to them. why would you drive an hour out to east jesus, nowhere?
that was a mistake, juno. mark is a married stranger. you overstepped a boundary.
it doesn't work that way, kiddo. you don't know squat about the dynamics of marriage.
i know enough.
yeah, because you're allergic to their saliva. i've made a lot of sacrifices for you, juno. and in a couple years you're going to move out -- and i'm getting weimaraners.
oh, go fly a kite.
it's called a spinal block, and you can't have it yet, honey. the doctor said you're not dilated enough.
well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play god and watch lesser people scream.
shit. hey, can we give my kid the damn spinal tap already?
like a mom. scared shitless.