yo-yo-yiggity-yo. is this juno? only the one in my pants. maybe it's just a food baby. did you have a big lunch? how did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? is this for real? like for real, for real? oh my god! oh shit! phuket thailand! well, are you going to go to havenbrooke or women now for the abortion? you need a note from your parents for havenbrooke. want me to call for you? i called for becky last year. heavy lifting can only help you at this point. so, you were bored? is that how this blessed miracle came to be? when did you decide you were going to do bleeker? aha! you love him. so, what was it like humping bleeker's bony bod? me too! i love woody allen! what are you doing here, dumbass? i thought i was supposed to pick you up at four. oh, gruesome. i wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out? keep your voice down dude, my mom's around here somewhere. she doesn't know we're sexually active. but then you'll get huge. your chest is going to milktate. and you have to tell everyone you're pregnant. maybe they'll totally shit and be super mad at you and not let you graduate or go to cabo san lucas for spring break. well, maybe you could look at one of those adoption ads. i see them all the time in the penny saver. oh yeah! "desperately seeking spawn." they're right by the ads for like, iguanas and terriers and used fitness equipment. it's totally legit. yeah, but it sucks for free. look at this one "wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other." "all that's missing is your bastard." you're not listening to me. what did you have in mind, a family of disturbed loners who are into gunplay and incest? all right, how about this one? "healthy, educated couple seeking infant to join our family of five. you will be compensated. help us complete the circle of love." hey, juno. juno! look at this one. best to just tell them, man. rip off the band-aid and let it bleed. i know, right? we found them in the penny saver by the exotic birds section. how does "crap it out" sound? check out baby big-head. that kid is scary! touche. aw, please junebug? or stage parents! yum. this pretzel tastes like a friggin' donut! what? of the penny saver lorings? no way! she's pretty. i just thought she'd look really old in real life. she's gonna steal that kid for her collection. bo-ring! god, spermy. must you always feed? you're gay? god, you're getting huge. how many months has it been now? i wish my funbags would get bigger. hot! well, you are kind of. convex. i don't have a choice. keith's been grading me really hard lately. keith's hot. did you hear bleek is going to prom with katrina de voort? he asked her. i heard they were going to benihana, then the prom, then to vijay's parents' cabin. oh, it totally does. i was there for her birthday about four years ago and it was like lipton landing. but you know, boys have endured worse things for nookie. i wouldn't be so sure about that. he did it with you. he's a man now. are you jealous? i thought you said you didn't care what he did. okay juno, i'm really convinced. you know, you can go into early labor sucking face like that!