heineken's alright?
you're not rupert pupkin!
how the hell did you find me?
sure, sure. how is old sally?
it figures.
what are you doing here?
oh, yeah, mr. romance.
nothing's gonna keep it alive in this place.
i don't have an aspirin.
well, what are you up to these days, rupert?
you still going to the movies?
oh, yeah. i was a real knockout.
well, here i am. local cheerleader makes good.
yeah?
well, nothing terrible's gonna happen, if that's what you mean.
well, how are things with you, rupert?
is that right?
jesus christ, rupert pupkin!
why, you got something better?
what?
tonight?
you call me up all junior and senior year. night after night after night, right? and every time i'm wondering 'when is this guy going to stop talking and ask me out?' well, now i know the answer. august twelfth, nineteen seventy-six. it only took you ten, eleven years to work up to it.
oh, no.
because i thought you were a jerk!
excuse me a minute, honey.
and then?
how much?
how much do we have to get to know each other?
how much do we have to get to know each other before we start talking about that job?
then what's this big offer you were talking about?
i'm sorry, rupert. but i'm busy.
yeah. busy.
i've already got a date.
none of your business.
he's a good friend of mine.
what's so important about tonight?
no. i don't. it's been really nice seeing you, rupert. thanks for dropping in. but i've got some work to do.
i have work to do, rupert.
no kidding?
i'll get you another one.
he was making trouble one minute and the next he was on the floor.
okay, tarzan. where do we eat tonight?
another one, chan.
so all this time you've been thinking about me, huh?
what kinds of things were you thinking?
oh, ho! those kinds of things! shame on you, rupert.
rupert pupkin is an unclean person!
rupert pupkin is an unclean person. oh, come on, rupert. relax. have a little fun.
did you know your nose wiggled when you talked?
yeah. just the tip. like a rabbit. hey, are we gonna eat or what? i'm starving.
it always looks like they put worms in this stuff.
well, i guess it won't kill me.
yeah? then what happened to the tablecloths?
oh, don't worry about it. this is
oh, the follies. that was the right name for 'em. how did you know which one was me? we all looked like chickens. what i mean is, we all looked like the same chicken. i thought it was gonna be rita keane in the ice follies and i wind up looking like henny penny.
breaks, bullshit! my parents didn't have the money for the right coach. but what difference does it make?
i remember once we were down in atlanta and the ice machine broke down. we did three hours of slush. everyone was falling on their faces and hopping up with their arms open for a bow like the whole thing was planned. and the people ate it up.
yeah? the follies? you really must have been carrying the torch. what did you think when i got married? you knew i got married?
you think i should have married you, instead, huh?
if he'd only been hit by a train. he was worth a helluva lot more dead than alive, i can tell you that.
what do you mean?
well, tomorrow night, i've got a date with joe namath -- you know joe. and thursday --- let's see --
i'm serious, rita. sure i see people. i'm not a nun, rupert. i see a lot of people.
you mean am i "going steady"? rupert, i'm thirty-one years old!
him?
what am i supposed to do, huh? sit home watching tv? he's just some guy. he's got his own aluminum siding business. he comes into the city sometimes, that's all.
oh, horrors! look, rupert, what do you think they pay me in that dump? ninety-five bucks. and you don't get the world's greatest tippers in there either. somebody has to take care of me.
you are, rupert. especially your nose.
is this some kind of game? are you going to tell me something about my character?
i can't think of anybody.
okay. okay. let's see. marilyn monroe.
oh, rupert! are we going to exchange
that's her name.
who's this one?
oh yeah, the guy with no clothes. who's this?
and this?
no kidding. how about this?
never heard of her.
you don't really know any of these people?
i can't make it out.
this is really weird handwriting!
redford!
it is?
your act?
i'm sorry.
it sounds wonderful, rupert, and i really hope you get what you want. but it's getting late and i'm a working girl. you know what i mean?
you really want to help me out? you see this. a hundred seventy-five bucks. if you could spare fifty, say, until next monday, that would keep three people really happy -- me, my landlord and my dentist.
me? nobody knows i'm here. you didn't tell anybody, did you?
what the hell's going on?
hello?
who is this?
where are you?
you know who that was -- the bar. i have to go back to work.
i guess i must have told them. they need someone right away.
oh, no. i do. really!
don't be angry. it has nothing to do with you. i had a nice dinner, really. it was great seeing you again.
come on. let's see a smile.
after what happened there?
that's okay. really. i can manage. why don't you just go to a movie or something? don't let me spoil your evening.
look, rupert. it's been a lot of fun, really. i'll see you sometime, huh?
come on, rupert. i'm in a hurry.
you don't kid around, do you?
huh?
bourbon and soda. make it light.
me?
what do people from jersey drink?
i'm mary.
me. i fly for national.
what's that smell?
yeah? you know what? i feel like going to a movie.
sure. why not? it's only twenty of ten. we can make a ten o'clock show.
no. i don't think so.
i want to go to the movies, that's all.
let's stop playing games, okay. i'm not a kid.
i'm just not interested in being tonight's ritual sacrifice, okay?
there's nothing wrong with me.
i don't even know you.
i don't think so.
let's just write this thing off as a big mistake. what do you say?
nothing. i just want to go home.
you noticed that, huh?
you really want to know?
how can i put it? well, it's like you've got your fly open and your tongue hanging out.
come on. get offa me.
no!
come on. let's talk this over.
you're hurting me.
oh, please.
what do you want?
just go home and leave me alone.
i'm so bad. i'm such a dummy.
not all the time.
well, i guess you're entitled to come up for coffee.
what do you want, rupert?
there's no .
what are we going to do?
but what about me?
that's fine, but while you two are talking, what am i going to do?
i'm sure they'll be thrilled hearing about the wonderful world of draft beer. let's tell 'em i'm a model, okay?
if they ask what i do, let's just say i model. you don't mind pretending just a little, do you?
this is a gas! too bad nobody'll believe it. after you guys are done working, what happens? are we going out someplace, or what?
what do these people do for fun? do they party or do freaky things or just get drunk or .  i mean, what do they do?
talk?!? what can you talk about for three or four hours?!
yeah, a cocktail party with no drinks. that's what all those shows are. at least they help you get to sleep.
boy, this is going to be some great weekend. i thought we were gonna have some fun.
look at that one. how'd you like to live in that?!?! or that one! what do you figure these run?
it's gorgeous!
the table's only set for one.
i could live here.
how come he isn't here?
didn't you tell him when we'd get here?
that jonno character hadn't even heard of us!
it's just not time way i expected it, that's all.
what do we do now?
sure i can.
look at this. i love these kind of things. look at the work. i've got this thing about boxes.
how much longer are we gonna have to wait?
doesn't he have any music or anything? let's get a little life into this place. it's like a funeral parlor.
this is more like it.
come on, yourself.
how about a little spin, handsome?
come on, rupert. i came up here for a good time.
you never could dance, could you?
oh i danced with you a couple of times -- at the sigma u party.
you didn't ask me.
well, i couldn't go with you!
be serious, rupert.
i wonder what the rest of this place looks like?
well, there's only one way to find out.
you coming or not?
i love it! all those millions of women out there dying to change places with me right now.
relax, will you. let me have a little fun, for christ's sake.
look at this. it's nicer than my whole apartment.
boy, i really need some sun.
lay off, will you, rupert.
here.
now for something that smells nice.
pleased to meet you.
what's he's saying, rupert, is that he wants us out.
don't get me into this.
come on, rupert, the man wants us to go.
look, mr. langford. i didn't know anything about all this. i hardly know this guy. i haven't seen him in years.
so if there's anything i can do, any way i can make this up to you.
come on, rupert.
what did you think was going to happen? you think he'd just .  ? what's the matter with you? you can't just walk into a guy's house! and what about me? what did you .
that was true, wasn't it? .  about the kidnapping.
okay.