meyer harris cohen, mickey c to his fans. he's the big moocher, local l.a. color to the nth degree. you know mickey. he runs dope, rackets and prostitution. he kills a dozen people a year. but who you may not know is bodyguard johnny stompanato.
johnny's handsome, ladies, but the real attraction is below the belt. second only to steve cochran, he's sometimes known as 'oscar' because of his academy award-size appendage.
remember, dear readers, you heard it here first, off the record, on the q.t. and very hush-hush.
big v jack vincennes! may i have this dance?
we did a piece last year. 'ingenue dykes in hollywood.' her name got mentioned.
beats me. look, jackie-boy, a friend of mine just sold some reefer to matt reynolds. he's tripping the light fantastic with tammy jordan at 2245 maravilla, hollywood hills. it's right around the corner.
contract players at metro. you pinch 'em. i do you up feature in the next issue. plus the usual fifty cash. tell me, am i fucking santa claus?
jack! it's christmas!
they're sitting in the dark, goofing on the christmas tree.
i like it! i like it!
cut! wrap it!
it's christmas morning in the city of angels, and while decent citizens sleep the sleep of the righteous, hopheads prowl for marijuana, not knowing that a man is coming to stop them. the free- wheeling, big-time big v, celebrity crime-stopper, jack vincennes, the scourge of grasshoppers and junk fiends everywhere. you like it, jackie- boy?
remember: you heard it first here, off the record, on the q.t. and very hush-hush.
hush-hush. off the record and on the q.t.
jackie, are you back on narco? i need copy.
something good?
not a word.
no. no, i've heard bupkis. jack, i'll talk to you later. call me when you get something i can use. smut's from hunger. for sad sacks who can't get their ashes hauled
you're back, boychick.
down around my ankles.
you remember matt reynolds?
the grauman's chinese pot bust. he just got off the honor farm.
you tight with the d.a., trash?
how'd you like a little payback? not to mention a donation to the widows and orphans fund. did you know loew was a swish?
he's queer too. metro paid him two grand a week to fake it with ingenues. on screen and off. i'm getting him to fuck the d.a. for a hundred bucks. that's twice the fifty you got for wrecking his career.
matt! over here!
that's d.a. loew right there.
you need a drink, kid.  jack, look after him a minute. kid, this is jack. no secrets between me and him.
dutch courage, kid. drink up.
hey, it's not like you don't know how. and jack here has connections on 'badge of honor.' pull this off and there'll be a part for you. i smell a comeback. don't you, jack?
if reynolds works his charms, which he will, this is the address where they'll be. meet me at midnight. i guarantee all sorts of illegal activity.
where'd you hear that?
jackie, all i know is what you know. the man is very rich. and he's invested in freeway construction so he's gonna get a lot richer. but that's it. patchett's what i like to call 'twilight.' he ain't queer, he ain't red, he can't help me in my quest for prime sinuendo.
what?
talk to him, jack. tell him about the opening on the show.
jackie! you got some good scoop for the sidster?
give me some narco skinny. i want to put out an all hop-head issue. shvartze jazz musicians and movie stars. maybe tie it into the rosenbergs. you like?
what's wrong, trash?
what happened with the kid and loew?
you didn't get my message? it got called off. the kid chickened out at the last minute.
jesus. jack, that's a story. 'swish actor gets the gay blade.' let me get my camera.
i put reynolds in the cab myself. the night cost me a hundred scoots and i got bupkis.
jackie! big v! let me get my camera! where are you going?!
hush-hush. off the record and on the q.t.
i'm happy to cooperate. you don't need to tie me down.
trashcan jack. the big v. i can tell you he's on the night train to the big adios.
take it easy! i didn't have anything to do with him getting killed if that's what you mean.
what does that have to do --
okay so we worked together. it was an information exchange. i got him first class collars and he got me good stories. we were friends for chrissakes!
you think he had something to do with vincennes getting iced?
okay. okay. everyone knows patchett's worth a boat-load of greenbacks. from aviation, freeway construction. but the man has hobbies, too. he bankrolls b movies under the table and runs movie star look-alike hookers. and try this on: he's rumored to be a periodic heroin sniffer. all in all a powerful behind-the- scenes strange-o.
and what?
he runs call girls. primo tail. fixed up like movie stars.
in my car. blackmail shit. the trunk under the carpet. patchett got me to photograph a cop fucking this gorgeous cunt lynn, looks just like veronicaaa --
get him away from me!
dudley, i thought you were gonna let the dumb bastard kill me. and you! learn to pull those punches a little better.
you can uncuff me now, fellas.
fellas? we had a deal. you, me and patchett, we're a team! come on, we're friends. we're --