sergeant riggs, sergeant murtaugh -- what're you doing here?
you're all wet, sir. you need a blanket or something?
i need a couple blankets here!
here you go, sir.
butters.
homicide?
goddamn it!
he was shot!
four times! at close range! like he was executed!
that really pisses me off!
folks're getting killed left, right, and center in this town! now we're importing victims. gang-bangers wanna cap each other, no problem! shoot it out with the cops -- boom, you're dead, who cares? some poor guy just trying to get through the shit 24-7-365, and he's whacked, that really pisses me off!
just don't like it when people do bad things to good folks.
yeah. okay. be sure to dry off, sergeant murtaugh.
congratulations, cap'n murtaugh.
there's fresh muffins in back. i can grab one for you.
okay.
that suit looks real good on you, by the way. nice color.
no.
where do i find him?
yes, sir, i do.
about a hundred fifty thousand of 'em. that's how many bullets were zinging around my neighborhood growing up. couldn't go outside half the time. couldn't be near a window. grew up on the floor. slept on the floor, ate on the floor, watched t.v. on the floor. hell, i didn't learn to walk 'til i was ten. spent my formative years nose to nose with the family beagle.  i'm working a crime, i'm thinking about that goddamn floor. and it pisses me off.
who's leo?
what's he want?
crime i'm gonna commit'll be assault and battering your little p.i. ass. what, you see a black guy riding with two cops, you automatically assume he's a criminal?
yeah, well, i'm not.
how you doing, lee?.  just fine, thank you. going to see uncle benny, the chinese crime boss.  give him a kick in the nuts for me, won't you?.  be glad to.
whatever you say.
yeah, these guys're always wrong. never arrest the right people. i'm sure it's all a big mistake.
know anything about a boatload of illegals that went aground last night?
crew shot one of 'em full of bullets. makes it a cop problem.
i'm after your ass now, too.
don't run, don't move, don't resist.  don't fuck with the police.
yeah. handcuffs. gun. badge.
l.a.p.d. 'looking at a pissed-off detective.'
shut up.
what for?
holy -- don't you move.
what the hell you just standing there for? get your ass over here.
push.
white men can't jump, but they sure can fall.
we'd've caught that guy if you hadn't fucked it all up. just 'cause you see a coupla black guys with guns, you automatically assume they gotta be bad.  get outta here, you racist motherfucker.
hey, how's it going?
captain riggs. captain murtaugh.
just heard from the crime lab. guy you chased through chinatown? the gun he dropped matched the slugs from those bodies at the ship. he's the shooter.
didn't get far. he turned up dead on a rooftop nearby. strangled with a wire. pigeons ate his eyeballs.
butters.  hello?.  hello?.  i hate cell phones.  make a call, get cut off. answer a call, get cut off. spend more time getting cut off than talking. which is just what the phone company wants. know why?
if your fucking three-hour battery that lasts only twenty minutes isn't fucking dead.
not to mention, the phones're getting smaller and smaller. why? so they can fit more places? no, no. so they can be lost or stolen easier. so you have to buy a new one, and they can fuck you again there. ever lost a plug-in phone at your fucking house? ever had someone break in your fucking home and steal that big kitchen phone off the wall?
or cloning your fucking number. calling belgium.
yeah, what am i talking to you for anyway? what're you doing here?
butters.  hello.  hello.  fuck!
heard everything on the tac frequency.  i'm sorry about your house.
butters.
glad everybody's okay. got a make on the guys who did it?
captain murtaugh, look, i know it's kind of a bad time. but i think there's something you'd better know about me.
 this isn't easy.
you do?
it is?
i understand. it's hard for you.
 i just hope we can see each other on the holidays, christmas.
okay. forget i said anything.
yes, sir.
you sure he can pull this off?
shut up.
we're going through it again.
guy's wasted.
he's not gonna tell us shit. we're wasting our time.
i got an idea. let's shoot a buncha novocaine into this happy motherfucker. make his legs all numb, then watch him try to walk and shit. have a big, goddamn laugh.  where's the novocaine at?
my gun.
a nut cup.
what's he keep talking about his ancestors for?
because i am.
i thought he knew.
i'm what?
yes, sir.
look what we found. they were printing funny money. ink's still wet.
they must be involved somehow. .  got in over your head, uncle benny.
hey, you said my real name.
this is the first time i've been shot. am i okay?
don't cut any heads off.
back.