i didn't mean to catch it.
the teeth'll look good on a wall.
 maybe it'll go to sleep.
ha-ha.
fun-ny.
stop, i'm in stitches.
okay, okay.  it's my fish, i'll take care of it.
where's my bag?
starboard. that's left.
'right,' yeah. right side aft.
you did say aft.
and that's a fucking word?
so why not just say that?.  people get around water, they gotta talk all that nautical shit.
jeez. what's the big deal?
i was just gonna kill jaws there.
you're crankier since finding out you're gonna be a grandpa.
i got my p.i. license now, right?.  a gumshoe sometimes finds himself in ugly situations.
new beretta?
hey, don't fuck with that.
helluva fucking fishing trip.
holy shit. that was great. wasn't that great?
i think the shark's asleep now.
i think the shark's awake again.
swim, swim, swim.
agh! swim! swim! swim!
you see that? fucking shark almost ate me.
that's pretty much it.
where'd they go?
you saw me.
perfecting my tailing techniques. being a p.i. and all.
if i can follow l.a.'s finest without being spotted, i can follow anybody. who's the perp? what crime'd he commit?
oh.  hey, just kidding.
so, the guys tell you about our history together? fighting crime, shooting bad guys, maintaining law and order?
riggs. murtaugh.
dog.
it wasn't my dog. it was a p.i. job i was working.
people hired me. to find a missing dog.
this was an expensive bolshoy, funny guy.
whatever, whatever.
sort of. see, i figured out my fee for finding it'd be more than the cost of the dog from the pound, right? so --
sasha. communist name.
which i dyed to look like theirs. which wasn't so fucking easy. which is how i got the scratches.
hey, the people're happy.
i'm not here.
because they fuck you with cell phones. okay? they fuck you with cell phones. they want you to get cut off, 'cause then, when you call the people back, they can charge you the higher rate for the first minute all over again.
and if you're not behind a little fucking hill where all you get is --
not to mention every idiot with a scanner's listening to every fucking word you say.
what'd i tell you? they fuck you with cell phones.  hey, ever noticed, how, at the drive-thru --
he'll learn to like me.
okay. okay. i got a new case, okay? non dog-related. and i need a little information. y'know, police files-type stuff.
okay, okay. i'll just hit the streets and sniff around for clues. thanks for nothing.
my tooth.  my tooth.
my tooth.  oh, god.  help me.  arghhh.
he's gotta see me. he's gotta see me. he's gotta see me.
he's in cleveland. i'm visiting l.a. i was in chinatown looking for those black kung-fun slippers for my nephew, and.  arghhh.
i couldn't stall him any longer.
so? how'd it go? did he talk? what'd he say?
he said 'you're my son-in-law?'
 wait.  he's your son-in- law?.  oh, shit.
how come i didn't know about this?
whatever, whatever.  screw you guys. i gotta go to my real dentist now. and you're paying.
i'm sorry.  i didn't mean to --
i was tailing you.  practicing my p.i. stuff again.  i'm sorry. i'll go.
victoria riggs.  your wife.  she was killed.
sorry, sorry. you want to be alone. i understand. hey. i'm going, i'm going.
i had a pet frog when i was little.
i know, i know. just gimme a sec, okay? then i'll go.
okay, okay, okay.  so i had this frog. named him froggy. and i didn't really have friends, right, so froggy was my friend.  .  i used to kiss him.
like in the fairy tales, the girl kisses the frog, and it turns into a prince? since i was a boy, i figured maybe it'd turn into a princess. then she could be my.  i didn't have a mom growing up, y'know? she went, y'know, away or whatever. and dad was no crackerjack prize.  anyway, froggy didn't turn into anything, just stayed a frog, but was still my best friend, and one day i was carrying his box in my bike basket, and he jumped out. my back wheel ran over him. and he died.  i was heartbroken.  i'd never love another living thing ever again.  then, about a year later, the mentally slow guy in the next apartment, iggy, his dog has puppies, and he has to get rid of 'em, and he asks me to take the one that didn't sell. so i do.  pretty soon, it's my new best friend. i named him froggy the second.  it wasn't that he was a better pet. just a different one.  anyway, i thought maybe it was relevant.
when i was tailing you.  you really didn't see me.
how about that? i tailed you, and you didn't see me.
who's that?
the baby. oh, shit, the baby. let's go.
what's that smell?
where?
ten-four.
c'mon, c'mon.  this is rabbi gelb.
you said 'anything.' no offense, rabbi.
wait, you gotta break a glass.
i need this.
now step on it.
two families with babies, and nobody thinks to bring a camera?
i'm hurrying.
argh.  you got one little wrinkle in a dollar.  i hate machines. know why? okay. because machines always fu --
okay, okay, whatever, whatever.
i got it. everybody move in close.  make sure the flash is working.
okay, okay, i got, i got it.
argh.
i coulda put out my goddamn eye.
here. you take the picture.