go for it, huh? okay, i'll go for it.
honey, what's this on my tie?
thanks. sharp as a pin.
don't take any questions on cooking.
hey, kid, turn off the waterworks, okay?
mind your own busines. that's illegal.
can't put a dead body in an ambulance. this 'kojak'?
huh. it's illegal. never put a dead body in an ambulance, son, you got that?
honey, where's the spot remover? young lady, stop crying or i'll give you something to cry about. damn.
that's it. i'm gonna give you something to cry about.
starving children. see? they haven't eaten, it's very sad. cry.
thank you, carrie. hear that, honey, the children think i'm weird.
where's my thinking? i should've checked the floor for egg. dick lloyd .  ? jesus, dick lloyd. what's he want?
i haven't talked to him in.  shit, twelve years? no, wait a minute, that would make me fifty years old, that can't be right.
inform the children of this. forget the eggs, i'll eat later.
i never talked about him.
yeah. vietnam buddy.
hey.
goddamn heartbreaker. she's a heartbreaker.
happy birthday to me .
fuck you.
'morning, phil. get some rain, looks like. hey, dixie. nice threads.
you. bozos. lay off.
you got a statement? send her home.
sure. all dressed up and no one to blow.
what's that?
eat me.
what was the name?
i knew her dad.
find out who bought it for her. her sugar daddy.
so look.
hello, honey .  ? give me the number for dick lloyd. what .  ? yes, the man who called me this morning. his daughter just took a dive out a window.
how you figure?
were you with a woman? mccaskey no, i was alone, why the fuck you think i was crying?
sounds like an eighties man to me.
that was quick.
what?
brilliant. there was an open bottle on her table.
jesus .
this case blows.
mccaskey, if my wife calls, tell her late dinner.
shoot.
what's b?
i don't work partners.
oh, perfect. can i trade in my life for a new one?
gun !!
heard about your little stunt yesterday. pretty heroic stuff. file says you worked for the phoenix project in vietnam, that right?
assassin stuff?
and they gave you the congressional medal of honor.
it's over, you know.
the war.
just thought i'd remind you. check out your piece?
9 millimeter beretta. that's some serious shit.
what's it take?
38 special.
file says you're registered with newark p.d. as a lethal weapon.
guess what?
i don't want to work with you.
ain't got no choice. damn. we're both fucked.
i'm very old .  .  god hates me, that's what it is.
poisoned. even if she hadn't jumped .  she'd still be dead.
dick, why did you call me yesterday?
out of what?
easy, dick.
yes. i know that.
i'm a police officer, dick.
we have to go now.
you gonna smoke in the car?
terrific.
what was wrong with that one?
brilliant. get in the car.
you're suicidal, remember?
we served together in '65. he saved my life in the la drang valley. took a bayonet in the lung.
i thought so.
four king sixty en route.
stow it.
where's the psychologist?
swell. who's the guy?
think he'll go?
you qualified to talk to jumpers?
okay. you're elected. hey. no guns. no kung fu. just .  bring him in.
right.
what the fuck did you just do???
c'mere.
okay, turkey, no bullshit. do you want to kill yourself?
shut up. just yes or no, do you want to die? huh? yes or no?
you're not answering the question!!!
you want to die.
here. pills are too slow. use a gun. use my gun. go ahead, pal.
be my guest.
go ahead. if you're serious.
put it in your mouth. bullet goes in your ear, might not kill you.
jesus. you're not trying to draw a psycho pension. you're really crazy .
yeah. now i know.
terrific. so you're saying i should worry.
thank you, doctor. you've been very helpful.
i'm too old for this shit.
it's my birthday, damnit! fifty years old today! fifty goddamn years old! thirty years on the force! not a scratch on me! not a scar! i got a wife! kids! house! fishing boat! but i can kiss all that goodbye, 'cause my new partner's got a death wish! my fuckin' life is over!
shut up! why you talkin' to me?! i'm not he're anymore! i'm gone! i'm dead! you're gonna see to that! you wanna die -- and you're gonna take me with you!
know what?!
beverly hills. got an address on amanda hunsecker's meal ticket. but remember .  this guy isn't a suspect yet. we're gonna question him; not damage him.
jesus. maybe i should call for backup.
no killing.
nice and easy.
police. hold it right there.
see how easy that was? boom. still alive. now we take the gun away .  .  and we question him. know why we can question him? because i got him in the shoulder. i didn't blow him up or jump off a building with him.
whatever. the point is, no killing.
right. piece of cake. i'm very happy. read the man his rights, i'll be over here being happy.
have you .  ever.  met someone you didn't kill.  ?
terrific, you want a little gold star? shit.
look, i' m sorry i said that shit back there. you saved my life. thank you.
you have no idea.
no, honey, this is martin, my partner. tell martin what you think of crooks.
tell mommy hate is a mild word.
hi, honey. we're having something brown.  a largish brown object .
dammit, i wanted to guess. honeny, this is martin, my new partner. he'll be joining us tonight, okay?
how about brown, roast-like substance?
got it. drink, martin?
hello, daughter. nice shoes.
absolutely. how much they cost?
a hundred and -- -- they're shoes.
you wear them on your feet.
and that's all they do .  ? there's not, like a tv inside?
i'm very old.
yeah. thanks, honey.
whaddaya think?
know how much they cost.
what's wrong with you? this ain't a sail boat.
no trick to it. that's the front. that's the back. water all around. why you gotta make things so complicated?
oh, yeah. you mean amanda hunsacker's murder?
you don't have to. i can read your mind.
i don't get you, riggs. what's the problem? we got one dead girl and one dead guy. dead guy killed the dead girl and we killed the dead guy 'cause he wanted us to be dead guys. seems pretty easy to me.
look, her sugar daddy was dealin' drugs. she said somethin'.  or did somethin'.  or saw somethin' she shouldn't have, and he pitched her off the balcony into the sweet by-an'-by. that's why he came at us today with a shotgun.
of course it's neat. and what's wrong with neat? i like neat.
hey! watch what you're doin'!
you asshole.
what is it, rianne?
you're grounded -- you know that.
which one is mark, anyway?
oh, yeah. the one with pits in his face.
those are pits. when he smiles, i can see through his head. the answer is no. end of story.
the girl was smoking pot in the house. she's grounded!
'cause right now, beer's legal and grass ain't. right or wrong.
i've lost track.  did we resolve anything here tonight?
thanks.
bullshit, but thanks anyway.
tell you what. make it through tomorrow without killing anybody. especially me. or yourself. then i'll start trusting you.
do what?
yeah. see you then.
hey.
 martin.  ?
do you know what time it is .  ?
i'll get dressed.
yeah.
yeah. who made the ketchup?
who made the eggs?
yeah.
dixie.
shh, quiet, i'm combatting crime.
or murder --
wow. wow. that's really reaching.
you couldn't have it at home, you had to come here at 7:30 a.m. and have it.
i'm thrilled. okay.
okay, go for it. i'm listening.
we know someone was in bed with amanda lloyd the night she died.
okay. let's say it was dixie.
say someone paid her to do it.
if it was her --
except amanda jumps out the window.
either way, she's gotta make a fast getaway, 'cause now the body's public. she hauls ass downstairs.
someone spots her. she says 'shit.'
or, 'damn.'
the point being, now she has to cover her ass.
right.
that's pretty fucking thin.
hell with it. thin's my middle name.
would you lay off the cooking?
you sleep with that thing under your pillow?
here, stand back.
hey-hey. would'ja look at that? pretty good for an old man.
yeah, yeah. eat me.
very thin.
hey.
you're on fire.
thin. very thin.
ho. jesus.
okay, okay.
bye-bye, dixie.
what'cha got?
what?
swell. i'm glad you liked it.
come again?
where?
jesus. this could be a break.
you call the gas company?
let me handle this.
stow it.
hi. i'm detective murtaugh. what's your name?
how old are you, alfred?
wow. six. bet you like the gobots, huh?
me, i'm a g.i. joe man.
yes, it is.
no. if a guy is hurting someone, i try to shoot him in the arm or something. just to stop him.
alfred, this man you saw. the meter man .  ? you get a good look at him?
great. listen, you ever watch 'starsky and hutch'? 'cause the police, sometimes they need help. they need police helpers. detectives. if you want, you can be a junior detective. if you want.
keep it, it's yours. official detective.
the man at the meter. can you .  picture him in your head? think about what he looked like. got it ?
i want you to draw him for me.
try to draw the man.
can it, martin.
very funny.
you're hilarious. alfred, draw the man, okay?
martin, have a look at this.
terrific. very professional.
shhh. don't mind him. he's crazy.
you bet. alfred. this is .  the man's arm, right?
okay. now this mark. is this .  what is this?
was it a birthmark? was it like this?
pained.
sssshh. it was .  painted?
like a tattoo? do you watch popeye? was it a tattoo like popeye has?
it was that? you mean.  just like that?
martin.
what the hell are we into here .  ?
hi, guy.
not much. wanna tell me about it?
don't bullshit me. that's over. your daughter wasn't killed because of something she was into. she was killed because of something you're into. stop me if i'm wrong.
keep your hands in front.
fuck easy. when you called me the other day, you were gonna blow the whistle, weren't you?
you tell me. you were gonna spill your guts. so they killed your daughter. tell me i'm wrong.
talk to me.
they killed your daughter.
they paid off a hooker to poison your daughter. talk to me!
acquaint me.
i'm listening.
keep talking.
and .  ?
bringing what in?
heroin.
you son of a bitch.
if you were getting cold feet, why'd they kill amanda? why not just kill you?
why?
the tax report .  ?
not any more. i'm gonna burn it down.
tell me about the next shipment.
tell me!!!
oh, swell. good move.
what's it gonna be, buddy .  ? you gonna save my life, just so you can snuff me twenty years later?
i guess.
if you can do it, do it. i don't fucking care anymore.
riggs!!!
riggs!!!
you through?
two inches higher, they would've got your head.
yeah.
jesus .  you sure?
so okay, ace: what do we do now?
hilarious. what do we really do?
do goddamn forest lawn ads, we're not careful.
you just got shot, man.
what do you mean, exactly?
king sixty, roger.
four king sixty, negative. give it to burke.
swell. did he have blond hair and big dimples?
bastards .  bastards .
don't answer that!!
murtaugh.
they took my kid.  bastards took my kid .
take this. until it's over, i don't want you to let it out of your sight. his wife nods. runs a hand through her hair. shifts from one foot to the other.
they're not going to hurt her. if i do exactly what they say.  they'll let her go. she's coming home.
yes.
i know.
i won't miss.
 how.  good are you.  ?
are you.  only crazy .  or are you.  as good as you say you are.  ?
good. kill every fucking one of them. okay .  ?
hollow points. armor piercing.
no.
testing, one, two, three.
don't get too close. they'll spot you.
split.
yes. i'm alone.
show me the girl.
bullshit. let me see her. then i come quietly.
let her go now.
sure thing, pal.
this fucker's alive. let her go or we all die.
don't push me.
i do and we die.
rianne, the car!
go spit.
go spit.
that's it .  if you guys think i'm sending you a christmas card you're nuts.
bastards .  untie me and i'll kill every one of you.
goddammit, i've told you everything!!!!
you touch her, you're dead.
get her out of here.
out of the way. move.
no way you live. no way.
well, shit.
joshua?
we .  gotta find him.
uh-huh first thing we gotta do is check on my house. i got a bad feeling.
freeze, joshua.
no guns. let it go! goddammit, let it go!!
martin.
take it easy, martin.
does it hurt .  ?
sorry.
what's the good news?
what's the bad news?
so.
there are worse things than a psych pension.
guess i won't be seeing you around.
where do you belong?
my son would come see you.
riggs.
this .  is a bad old world, isn't it?
hell. i'm thinking of quitting.
me? old.  ?
yeah. you, too.
sure. come over for dinner sometime.
don't blame you. i'm thinking of arresting my wife for cruelty to bacon. merry christmas, martin.
i'm fifty. that's not old, dickless.
sucker, if you think i'm gonna cat the world's lousiest christmas turkey all by my lonesome, you're nuts.
you touch her, i'll kill you.