a dark street. . . a stormy night.  two desperate men struggle.  one man is taken to the hospital, the other to ja il. the prosecutor wants you to believe this is an open-and-shut case of a poor man, brutally victimized. he nods at the victim - - a fragile old man in his 70's.
well, for once i agree with t he prosecutor. this is an open-and shut case -- but the true victim is my client. fletcher's client is a 250 pound brute in a suit.
put yourself in his shoes for a moment--walking home from church, alone, in a frightening part of the suburbs. as he describes his client's movements, fletcher acts them
you're nervous, timid, looking over your shoulder -- when suddenly, you encounter him-- pouncing from the shadows. you quiver in fear. the streetlight flashes on something shiny in his hand-- a knife?
and in that terrifying instant you do what any respectable citizen would -- you defend y ou rse lf. only after you shatter his arm and collarbone do you realize it's all a mistake.  the man was merely walking away from an atm machine, the apparent flash of metal caused by his bank card. he reveals the weapon in his hand is only a credit card.
 and why? why does the state turn its massive power against this individual? (takes an
shame on you, mister prosecutor! shame on you! (turning back to
instead, let cold reason be your guide as you decide the fate of this church-going, orphan-rasing widower! fletcher returns to his seat. jurors, dab their eyes.
another gratifying day serving justice. fletcher's huge client catches up to him.
stay out of my neighborhood after dark. a publicist carrying, a clipboard approaches fletcher.
no, i'm late picking up my son.
maximillian! (calls out a
malfunction in vector 3 ! ! malfunction in vector 3!! look out! it's on tickle mode!! fletcher's "mechanical arm" becomes claw-like, tickling max like crazy! max loves it. audrey watches these two kids, smiles.
and who is this lovely lady? max, could you introduce me?
you know, you were much easier when we were married.  so where are you off too?
o h really? where i live, we use a boy on a bike.
what? no kiss for me?
i didn't know the boyfriend was going.
t o stanford? overnight? does this mean you two are.
medic!! i've been hit.
well, great.  i'm so happy for you two. i am just mister h appy man. happy, happy, happy.
aud, i am so sorry.
yo u gonna be okay? because if not, we could leave max with your sister and i could go out with you two, does that appeal to you at all? they drive off.
wave to the soon-to-be ex- boyfriend, max. (flipping max the
absolutely, maxattacker. we just have to stop by the office for one minute. max sighs. he's heard this before.
(patting his
philip!
 yes. yes it is. well, it was good seeing you-- fletcher starts off with max, when philip calls after him.
oh, me too. i can never get enough of charades. we'll have to do it again sometime. fletcher heads into an open elevator.  only to find the door's closing impededby philip's foot.
soon. the door again begins to close.  when philip stops it.
not that soon. i'm taking max to see wrestling--
i don't think so. see, max is really shy around strangers. max looks up at fletcher. he isn't.
tell you what -- give me your card as a reminder. i'll call y o u . soon. promise.
fabulous! i love it. (indicates the 
ah.  the partnership committee meeting still scheduled for friday?
oh, i'm.  fixing the card, look, they spelled mr. allan's name wrong. have an apple.
hey, pete! great tie! . max looks at pete, -whose fashion-disaster tie startles him.
thomas--looks like you're losin' weight. thomas glances up from a file. max notes that he's corpulent.
(wedging past
oh, yeah. you're going to love it. uh, why don't you play in my office for a minute? fax something, sue someone, have a good time. we'll be leaving in a second.
damn! i completely forgot.
you're a saint. i should get you something.
ah. well, i always do the classy thing. any calls?
tell him it's in the mail.
write him a long, explanatory letter. then bill him for the letter.
i ' m on vacation.
it's a long vacation.
as if i don't have anything better to do than bow and scrape at her royal perfumed p artner feet. tell her i'm in court.
tell her i broke my leg and had to be shot.
--and then send out a notice of judgement on my win today!
miranda! i didn't see you. hey, you look lovely, today. here, i bought you a gift.
of course we are. a promise i s a promise. we are gonna see wrestling or my name isn't fletcher t. reid.
could you hand me that? (the wrestler
max factor.  happy birthday. how old are you today? t h ir t y ? forty?
well, you've held up well. i only wish there was some way to commemorate such an occasion, some small symbol to mark this day, like.  fletcher produces --
 . . a present! .
it's.  it's. a surprise. max knows his father doesn't have a clue but he rips the box open, revealing, a baseball, glove, dodger's cap, and
baseball stuff.
tonight. after your party, you have my word on it. max nods sadly as fletcher turns back to his work.
big fun. manly fun. am i right, maxie?
so how were the wrestling matches ? did you have fun?
did you see that? he struck the child!
tonight?
the seventeenth of may is the day i .remind myself that the eighteenth is max's birthday. see you tonight. they drive away.
thank you.
mrs. cole, the only problem here is that after you've provided years of faithful service and loving support, of raising his children -- they are his?
after all that, your husband wants to deny you a fair share of the marital assets based on one single act of
hm?
--seven acts of indiscretion, only one of which he has any evidence of, and all of which he himself is responsible, for.
mrs. cole, i stayed up all night last night studying your c ase. not just your case.  b ut you. and, by now, i feel i know you. you are the victim here. the wife of a cold, distant businessman. starved for affection, driven into the arms of another man--
(not missing a
and you've always been a good wife.
there's such a thing as being t oo nice. that's why you need aggr essive representation. to show the court that there is more than one side to this st ory. all i'm asking is the opportunity to see that justice is done on your behalf. will you give me that opportunity?
good for you!
oh, pshaw. she picks a piece of lint off.his jacket.
excuse me? she grabs his lapels and pulls him in for a deep kiss.
urn, actually, something has come up. a problem on a new caaa-- . miranda bites one of fletcher's nipples.
nothing. i just nailed my knee into the desk.  listen, i'm really sorry i can't 'make it.
i'll make it up to him, i promise. i'll pick him up from school tomorrow, okay?
ah, no. i have to go.
i've had better. miranda turns to him in disbelief -- but it's nothing compared to the look of shock on fletcher's face.
"i've had better?"
"i've had better?!"
"i've had better?" i t arrives. he steps in.
new in the building?
ah. well, you must allow me to give you the grand tour.
no. just the ones i want to bang like a drum. fletcher's face registers extreme shock and.
unquestionably. fletcher walks faster, puzzled that he has answered truthfully. the beggar is even more puzzled.
no.
because i resent your p re sen ce. you fill me with an unpleasant mixture of disgust and guilt. further, i don't believe you'll use the money for food, but i believe you'll use it for, at worst, drugs, or, at best, whiskey, or . cigarettes. also, i'm cheap. as fletcher heads up the stairs.
i've had better. he winces as he recognizes the words. then, an extremely wealthy, respectable industrialist, richard cole enters with his attorney, dana appleton, young, brisk, confident.
dana. "
fifty per cent of your estate. richard is shocked.
our case is simply this. . . fletcher opens his mouth to enlighten her -- but he can't get the words out. he tries to force out sounds, but succeeds only in looking like a fish gasping on dry land.
i'm trying!
well, i'm a little upset about a bad sexual episode i had last night-- fletcher screeches to a standstill, suddenly aware of what he just said. after an awkward silence--
yes, your honor.
yes, your honor.
mr. rand had severe ethical objections to my client's case. fletcher is incredulous. somehow his greatest asset in the world, his mouth, has become his worst enemy.
i have lower standards, your honor.
i realize that, your honor, but i ' d really, really, really like a continuance.
i can't lie!
it certainly does.
fantastically fair. phenominally fair. in fact, i'd say beyond fair, bordering on stupid. dana fumes. the judge finds fletcher's boldness refreshing.
no, not at all. she's got my client dead to rights. when
the best that money can buy, y o u r honor. 
we have evidence that you are not going to-believe. despite herself, dana is beginning to look worried.
 "confident" is too weak a word, your honor. i am certain what will happen if i take this puppy to trial. the verdict will be a stunning, humiliating defeat that will cut a spectacularly promising legal career off at the knees. fletcher is referring to himself, of course, but dana thinks he's speaking about her. she buckles.
no? ! mrs. cole, this offer was a miracle. i'm talking about a walking-on-water, lazarus-rising-from-the-dead,
seven! 
mrs. cole, you don't . understand, i-- but before fletcher can finish, the judge enters.
your cellulite, tubster. the now panicked fletcher breaks into a run, passing fred.
'straight into the crapper, you wuss, with my career right behind it.
don't ask! for god's sake,
red. red. all right. focus, (with great
 the pen is blue!! the pen is . b l u e ! ! the goddamn pen is
i have to go home.
no. i have to be in court at one-thirty.
i don't know, i don't know!!!
i only proposed a settlement t o dick with them. i never had any intention of going th ro ug h with it. . not certain why her boss would .shoot himself in the foot, greta nonetheless jots down his remarks.
i'd rather shave my ass and sit in vinegar.
i don't think i can. i had a case i was certain would settle and it didn't. i have to go to trial this afternoon, god help me.
it's true.  i really do want to see max, today. fletcher considers what he just said, realizes it is true.
how about that. i really do.
yes, but-this time it's different.
( he walked into
no.
having sex.
no. it was with someone i don't even like. but i thought it would help my career and at the moment that
a h h h h h h ! ! i what is wrong with
answer, answer, answer.
audrey, let me explain. something has happened to me--
what?!
 wait, you can't move! if you take max away.  i'll practically never see him.
audrey, please.  is this because of what i just said on the phone?
where are you?
when you gee there, stay there. i'll be right over. we have to talk.
i'll be right- there!
aaaah!
uh -- not really, no.
none, whatsoever. i mean, i ' d like to respect you, and if it weren't for your mistreatment of the associates, your rudeness to the staff, and the fact that your work sucks, i would.
i was afraid you wouldn't support my partnership if i turned you down. plus, i have an immature need for sexual conquests.
gotta focus. . . gotta focus. he's so preoccupied that he speeds through a crosswalk and almost hits an old man.
the color of the pen is -- re d ! . but he hasn't regained the ability to lie -- he's referring to the red light he just ran, nearly colliding with a truck. the driver screams:
i ' m an inconsiderate prick!
depends on how long you were following me.
 here goes -- i didn't fasten my seatbelt, i didn't glance in my rearview mirror, i didn't signal when i pulled away from the curb, i sped, i followed too closely, i ran a stop sign, i almost hit :a chevy camaro, i almost hit a ge ezer, i sped some more, i failed to yield at a crosswalk, i changed lanes in the intersection, i changed lanes without signalling, and i changed lanes in the
no.
it's in my other pants.
hanging from my boss's credenza.
no.
yes -- but that's beside the point! my license actually is in my other pants, and they actually were hanging from a credenzaj i wouldn't lie to you! i mean, i would if i could, but i can't!
i didn't say that. i have other reasons. seventeen reasons, to be precise. unpaid parking tickets.
audrey, wait!
i can explain--
yes.
thank you. . i can't tell you how much this means to me.
ow.
you scratched my car!
right there!
(angrier and
audrey, wait. i want to talk to you about this boston situation.
you can't go. it's not fair. taking max three thousand miles away is not fair.
last night--
all right-- now let me tell you something. you're absolutely right. i'm guilty of all charges. i'm throwing myself on the mercy of your -court. audrey doesn't know what to say. fletcher seems very sincere, but she can't trust him.
no, audrey. just talk to me abou t this first. please. au drey, i've lost you. don't make me lose max, too.
this is iron-clad. this is the mother of all promises. what time?
ten-to-six.
oh my god! that-'s it! an innocent kid - - a heartfelt plea-- a birthday wish! sure, it' s impossible --but it 'makes sense!! if he can wish it, he can unwish it!
hi. listen, i need to talk to
well, actually-- 
uh, hi. uh, i'm a lawyer and i work at a big law firm with a lot of other lawyers and i do stuff in a law court. thank you. he starts out.
mostly, i ' m a divorce lawyer.
it means if you're daddy left your mommy, he'd call me.
i help people fight over their money and their children.
to marry a younger woman. to escape a loveless marriage and have cheap meaningless sex. to cling to an illusion of youth as his body gives way to sore backs, flat feet, spare tires, gum disease, hair loss, liver spots, kidney stones, clogged arteries, diabetes, goiter and eventual death. the kids eyes go wide. a moment, then:
monster-max.
no. i ' d like to, but i can't right now. max is disappointed again.
i ' m sorry i missed your party la st night. how was your uncle glen?
that's why he should have worn make-up. fletcher elbows max, playfully, trying to induce a laugh. max doesn't laugh.
yeah, okay, urn.  your mother told me about.  the wish you made last night. it came true. max is amazed.
yes.
no matter what.
in the olympics, yes. on . channel 23, no.
not in a million years.
uh-uh.
only if you can't 'swim.
because your mom buys it.
i . . . i don't know. i ' m . . . hey, you know i'm coming over to nig ht. we're gonna play together.
 yes! this is absolutely an a-number one promise. you and i -- tonight -- baseball. fletcher and max do their ritual "five" slap.
now, listen, max, i need a favor from you. i ' m in a little trouble today. i need you to take that wish back.
not to you.
max, sometimes grownups.  need to lie. it's hard to explain, but i f . . . look, here's an example. when mommy was pregnant with you, she gained a little weight. se venty pounds. i thought she was gonna give birth to a car. but she'd say to me "how do i lo ok?" so i'd say, "oh, honey, you're beautiful, you're glowing.11 otherwise, i would've hurt mommy's fee ling s. understand? max nods.
right. no.  max, i don't know how to get along in the grown-up world if i have to stick to the truth. i could lose my case, i could lose my promotion, i could even lose, my job.  do you understand? max shakes his head "no."
will you help me anyway? a moment -- then max reluctantly nods.
that's my boy! fletcher opens the box, revealing a cake and candles.  he takes out two birthday hats. he puts one on max and one on himself.
now, do whatever you did last night.  only this time, make an un-wish. not really happy, max turns to the candles on the cake. he takes a breath-- and blows them out.
great! great! now to test --
only what?
well, then do it again. only this time, mean it.
why not?!
i explained this to you! i have to lie. everybody lies! mommy lies, even the wonderful jerry lies--
i am coming over, tonight, max. you believe me, don't you? max hesitates, then nods.
i'll see you tonight, buddy.  that's a promise. max heads back to class. fletcher picks up the cake, looks at it, then dumps it in a trash barrel.
short and shrivelled. fletcher hurries up the steps when he spots philip. he shields his face with his briefcase. philip recognizes him anyway.
no --
no --
no --
philip.  i don't want to come over to your house! a long moment, then --
no. he goes into his office. greta is concerned. she follows him in, leaving his door open.
my son hates me.
o h yeah? last night at his birthday party, he made a wish. that i wouldn't be able to tell a lie for one whole day.
it came true.
it's true. didn't it seem odd to you that i kept telling the truth all morning?
that's right! i am incapable of lying.
apparently until 9:15 tonight. it's a twenty-four hour curse.
you don't believe me.
go ahead. ask me something i ' d normally lie about. she thinks.
greta, please.  yes judge stevens, hi!.  fletcher reid. i ' m scheduled to be in your court in half- an-hour.  judge stevens, i badly, badly need a continuance. . . so i can go home and stay there the rest of the day. 111? am i ill? he wants to say "yes", but he can't.
in a way. (covers the
jumbo's house of junk. she thrpws it in the trash and keeps packing.
i'll give you the raise!
hi, judge stevens?.  yes, i know i haven't given you a reason. the phone rings.
but if you could just do this for me, i-- the phone won't stop ringing. .'
hold on, please, (pushes two
oh dammit! i cut him off! i cut off the judge! greta.  he falls to his knees.
i'm on my knees in a nine hundred dollar suit. don't leave. greta stops. she seems to consider.
yes?
no. . . but what' s your poijit!
aaaah! miranda smiles like a cat that's trapped a mouse.
extremely.
well, i'm due in court.  bye- bye.
(eagerly and a little too
fu-- fu--
well, it's working. i feel sorry for them already. the judge bangs the gavel.
your honor, i object!
(can't help
no questions.
(afraid to ask
how?! gathering his courage, he stands, downs the last of his water, and moves to the lecturn. he's about to speak.  when a wonderful feeling sweeps through him. after a momement, he grins.
would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break?
not unless you want to mop up.
what did i think? that i could piss for forty-five minutes?! he hits his forehead in frustration.  and gets an idea. he hits himself again and again, smashes his head into the wall, pokes himself in the eyes, yanks on his ears, finally knocks himself in the stall, where he continues his attack. a man enters, hears a commotion from behind the stall door.
i ' m abusing myself! do you mind?! the man looks disgusted. he carefully leaves the room.
yes, i can.
hello.
(summoning up
the twins.
sure.
(sees virginia
i've slipped into the seventh circle of hell, thank you, and you? virginia exchanges an anxious look with falk.
well, basically the plan is i walk you through the tape step by step, i ask you questions--
exactly.
do esn't it? and i'll finish up with a dramatic series of questions, something like.  "mr. falk, isn't it true that you and mrs. cole have never made lo--" but fletcher gags. he can't get the question out. the others look concerned, but he waves them off.
oh my god! i can't do it! i can't finish the question if i know the answer is a lie! at this moment miranda and mr. allan come up the steps.
c'mon! gotta rephrase the question!
respondent calls.  lawrence falk. fletcher's clears his throat. here goes.
mr. falk, do you know my client, virginia cole?
isn't it true that your relationship with my client is entirely platonic, not? the "not" was involuntary. it takes everyone by surprise.
if i might rephrase your honor. is your relationship with my client entirely patonic, not?
yes, is your relationship with my client not entirely platonic, or yes, is not your relationship with my client entirely platonic?
how 'bout just answering the question you think i'm asking? '
did you ever not make lo-- did you not ever make lo--
(screaming at
i have no further witnesses, your honor. a murmur erupts from the crowd.
i can't.
you don't understand. i can't lie . until nine-sixteen tonight, i can't even.ask a question that calls for a lie! virginia grabs him by the tie, pulls him close to her face.
thirty-one?
wait!
mrs. cole -- may i call you virginia?
but that would be a lie, wouldn't it?
isn't your true name.
tru e blue? what if i asked you to remove your contact l enses? what color would they be then?
and here it says you're a b l on de . are you? c'mon, carlotta, there's a very easy way for us to check. if you don't remember, perhaps mr. falk will.
so on this single document, you basically lied at every opportunity. i'm sure a woman as vain as you would also lie about her age. it says you were born in 1964. what's the truth? 1962? '60? how young did you try to make yourself?
oh, you bet it does, your honor! my client lied about her age because she was only 17 when s he got married. which makes h er a minor. and in the great state of california, no minor
(knows he has
what?
he was entitled to prevent you. you committed adultery.' you only won because you're a liar, remember? .
but -- but -- you said he was a good father.
no. .
screw that!! she lies and she wins ?! what are we, nuts? everyone stops, watches fletcher.
t his woman --my client -- goes down with the frequency of a nuclear submarine and we just gave her thirty seven million dollars because she's a liar! and now as an extra added little bonus, we're going to let her steal, the kids, too?
-let' s see what i' ve done today. i've helped a gold digging slut get richer. i'm taking this guy's kids away. i don't like you in the least, now i'm one of your partners!
good! i'm contemptible! my
yo u wanna know the truth? oh yeah, let's let it rain.  the truth is is that i've traded my life. a beautiful wife, an incredible son for this piss
go ahead, your honor, bang
audrey! it's fletcher--
wait, the most amazing thing's happened to me! i am feeling so good.
a ud rey , wait. please, i need to talk to you. i .swear, i'm a changed man. just come to the courthouse with a thousand dollars and bail me out.  hello? o ne more call!! i need another call!!
and what about our water su pply ? you don't think "the man's" dumped enough toxins to render every dick in this cell as lifeless as a beached minn ow? you're damn rightj "the man" does anything he w an ts. we're nothing but pu ppets.  little game pieces they move back and forth. a deputy appears. '
that's me. fletcher t. reid. pawn no. 332-154-9867.
audrey? greta?!
greta! greta!! . . . . look at you, you well preserved, underpaid, overworked, underappreciated thing you. g iv e me a hug! you came and got me out!! hug me!!
y ou know what?! i love you. i loveyouloveyouloveyou. i wa nt to hug you. come here,
just the truth, greta. fifteen years of being stuck in a lie is nowhere near as powerful as one day of being stuck in the truth.
answeransweransweranswer.  we hear a recorded voice:
shelton, jerry shelton. what time's that flight leave? 7:50. thank you. (checks his
shiiiiit!!! he pulls over -- so quick he jumps the curb.
listen; i know i'm driving a little crazy but i have an emergency to attend to.  the cop's just getting off his walkie talkie.
w h y ? what for? for changing lanes?
no ! i paid them! this morning! that's the truth! i swear!!
the computer is wrong! it ' hasn't been updated. the computer's a liar!
that's right, no! i'm not gonna lose my son because some stupid clerk was too lazy to update the computer. now if you want to follow me, . you can follow me and take the car after i get where i'm going. i'm a lawyer and i k now my rights! understand?!
(looking .
'scuse me, sir. do you have any - - the man turns. it's the same beggar fletcher was rude to outside the courthouse.
could you spare some?
tw ent y. .
thirty-four. that's all i have. a moment as the beggar thinks, then:
jerkoff!
i just need to use the phone to call a cab. i work here.
hold it! i've got ten years worth of dirt on you and this firm, and i'm in the kind of mood today to get a lot off my chest. you let me use the phone or i start talking!!
philip!! look at you!!! my
you're saving my life, philip.
i don't like you. i'm sorry. i find you boring. i hate ch ara des . and you wouldn't know a good time if it sat on your face. i'm sorry. it was easier than telling you how i really felt. are you upset? a moment, then:
then why are you always trying to socialize with me?
philip, i don't like you as a person, but i'm crazy about you as my accountant. i ' d never hire a new accountant. never!
bedelayed. bedelayed. fog, rain, something, anything.  he sees the departure board " f li g ht 69. departs 7:50. on time. gate 17." fletcher looks at the clock -- it's 7:46!! holy shit!!
excuse me. . . excuse me. . . come on folks, let's let the frantic man pass.  sorry.  thank.  you.  standing on the right, passing on the left. they can't make this- deal any easier than it is.  come on.  coming through.  at the top,- a woman in a nurses uniform asks for money.
i don't trust you. i don't know what the hell that uniform is. sorry. (a hare krishna tries to stop
ahhh!! ! damn; fletcher frantically tosses his keys, cufflinks, his rolex into a tray. he tries again. it buzzes again!
what? i'tii practically naked! a guy in a turban passes over him with a detector wand.
it's called a zipper, hodgy.
look out!! ! --
(mumbles to
sorry i made you miss your flight, not really. you're obviously a little . upset, not that i blame you.  although i'll bet you'll still get the bonus miles. . .
okay, okay.  the whole truth and nothing but the truth, (with difficulty,
i know you've met somebody.  somebody pretty great.  and the truth is i wish you didn't but you did and.  all i ' m asking i s . . . please don't move to boston. please don't take max away. she's definitely moved by fletcher, but not convinced.
i don't want to visit him. that's what i've been doing-- visiting him, dropping by, stopping in. i want to be in his life. i don't want to be some jerk that sees him at easter. i want to be his father. fletcher turns to jerry.
i know i have no right to ask, but can i talk you out of taki ng that job? i can get you a better job here in l.a. i've got all kinds of connect ions.  what do you do again?
how symbolic. okay great. you know pac-tec?
one of their systems shorted out and burned down a supermarket. i got them off. another proud day for justice. if i ask them they'll beat your boston offer in two s ec on ds . .
just let me present my case. fletcher walks over,, tries to be playful, starts walking,
you wanted me to stop lying. but lying isn't the problem. .  why we lie ~ that's the problem. sometimes we lie to make someone else feel better. but sometimes we lie because the truth gets in our way.  but being an adult means you sacrifice some things for more
max. .  it's 9:22.
max, you made the wish at 9:15. i've been able to lie for the last seven minutes. max steps away from fletcher.
no! it wasn't a lie. i just wanted to be honest with you and tell you -- there was no wish to guarantee it anymore. you just have to believe me. max looks at audrey, who is letting max decide for himself max looks at fletcher and tries to decide.
malfunction in vector seven. i have lost control of my affection reflex.  fletcher starts kissing max on the head over and over. he sees audrey.
procreate! procreate!
sr. . .
i take back every dirty, dishonest thing i ever said about you, wrote about you, faxed about you, e-mailed about you.
so, you up for a little friendly competition?
i wasn't talking about basesball. a slow smile from jerry. fletcher winks and tosses the ball to max.
alright, it's time to show you the old fletcher reid change up.