is spanky here?
then what's the problem?
but this is where the action is and i have to be where the action is. look, when your old lady wanted those alligator shoes, didn't i come through for you? ain't she stepping in style now?
well, alright then. what do you think about this new tie?
i look good tonight. and i feel lucky, too.
when do you get off?
i sure can't drink that watered-down swill you're serving. give me a glass of ice.
you have any of that french stuff?
keep the change.
don't i know you?
sure i do. what's your name again?
claude banks. how could i forget that? you've got to remember me. ray gibson. we went to high school together.
that's right! good old monroe.
sorry, man. my mistake.
watch the threads, bullethead. if this is about my tab, i've got it covered.
save your energy, claude. you're gonna need it.
here, this belongs to you. it was empty when i found it.
what i want to know is what happened to your cush between the time that you got up from the table and when i caught up with you in the johnny?
did those two muscle heads shake you down? swear i've seen them down at the track with sure-shot riley. that's it, ain't it? a gambling debt.
probably to spanky's headquarters down at the pier.
i can't wait to see that. you slay me, man.
you? dine and ditch, right? over ten bucks? you're probably looking at a thumb.
you don't have to drown that fella, spanky. you already scared him half to death. he didn't know who he was fucking with.
come on, spank, i'm just trying to get by here. you remember how it was when you were starting out.
puerto rican rum. see for yourself.
comes up the mississippi. i can get more. a lot more. i was thinking about going into business for myself, but under the circumstances, i'd be willing to take on a partner.
all i need is the front money and a truck. i could be back in two, three days tops if i had somebody to share the driving.
understood.
i'll take the little choirboy, if you don't mind.
i just want somebody who won't put a bullet in my back once the truck is full.
tell me about that hot sketch you were hypin' last night. she was a choice bit of calico. you two been seeing each other a long time? gonna slap the handcuffs on her and stroll down the aisle one of these days?
sometimes i wish i could find me a sheba to settle down with. suppose i'm just a tomcat by nature. this little rum run is gonna seriously improve my relationship with spanky. he's a good man to have on your side. he's got the capital and the connections. that's what you got to have in that business. spanky's place is pretty plush, but one of these days i'm gonna open up my own establishment. ray's boom-boom room. you like that? ray's boom-boom room. that's in the groove, don't you think?
come on, daddy-o. you haven't said a word since we started. least you could do is make some friendly conversation.
start your job? what kind of job?
that's some long green.
nothing.
i don't know. bank teller. sounds like ladies work to me.
hey, you'd be surprised what you find in other people's pockets. just gotta avoid them deadbeat bank tellers. get you every time.
why didn't you take it?
you gave up baseball to be a bank teller? i can't latch on to that.
you're talking about giving up baseball to be a bank teller.
a loan officer?
so you mean, if i needed some jack to get my nightclub up and running, i'd have to hype some square like you?
how would i get a loan, anyway?
like this?
my daddy gave me this watch.
my daddy is dead so watch your mouth. you can say what you want about me, but don't be dragging my daddy into it. this watch means the world to me. solid gold. keeps perfect time.
ah, go chase yourself. i'll take my business elsewhere. and for future reference, you are no longer welcome at ray's boom-boom room.
when there is, you can forget about it. and i swear to god, you ever talk about my daddy again i'm gonna kick your bank-telling, loan-denying ass, you got me?
i think i liked you better when you kept your trap shut.
man, something smells good in here. how's everybody doing?
are you kidding? tell me you don't want a slice of that pie right over there.
good evening, billy. we'd like some coffee and a couple of slices of that homemade pie you've got advertised.
it says so right there on your shirt.
look, ma'am, we've been driving all day. we'd just like to purchase one of those pies and we'll be on our way.
got any nigger pies?
thanks for backing me up here, uncle claude.
you're soft.
i said you're soft.
i call it like i see it, and what i see is definitely soft.
yeah, i want some pie.
how you doing? we're looking for slim.
man, that music is hot. what goes on down there, slim?
blacks welcome there?
maybe we will. nice meeting you.
what gave you that idea?
don't get all agitated on me. i bought a bottle of rum from a couple of dudes, i heard 'em talking.
what are you complaining about? it worked out. everything's cool. now, come on, let's head down there and see what's shaking. we deserve a little reward.
there are people down there having fun. i want to be one of them. i want you to be one of them. on monday you can be a bank teller if you want, but tonight you're a bootlegger with a truck full of puerto rican rum and a fistful of cash.
there's your gas money. you stay here and watch the truck. and don't worry, i've got the keys.
i'll take two.
looks like my sugar bowl's empty, mr. hancock.
now, hang on, slick. i ain't through with you yet.
full boat, ladies doing the paddling.
looks like he had a whole lot of nothing in his hand until you came along.
here i am.
still got that ten dollars?
that jelly you were talking to right here?
so you made a generous contribution.
that was mighty charitable of you, claude. looks like we both got fucked tonight.
while you were upstairs doing god's work, i was getting jack-legged by a fool with four threes.
he even got my daddy's watch.
we've still got 36 cases of rum. that's better than money.
he's dead.
it ain't here.
my daddy's watch. this is the dude i was telling you about --
him? he's just drunk.
winston. his name's winston.
hell with him then. if he can't share the driving, he can't ride in the truck.
man, this is gonna delay everything. spanky's gonna be pissed.
if it wasn't for me, you'd be washing up on the beach at coney island right now. "i need all my thumbs and fingers for praying and doing good."
excuse me, sheriff. as we explained to your associate here, there's been a mistake. we didn't kill anybody. now, as for the bootlegging, we happen to work for a very important man in new york.
mr. johnson is very well connected. if you were to let us go, i guarantee he would show you his appreciation, if you know what i mean.
i'm just trying to pay the toll on the road to justice.
life?! how long is life? we were just walking back to the truck. we didn't do nothing! fuck life!
i wouldn't do that if i was you.
told ya.
we noticed.
here, gimme that.
it's from your mama's neighbor, mrs. tidwell. she thought you oughta know that your second cousin bo died.
and your other cousin, sally, on your daddy's side, she died.
apparently, your sister died.
no, it says marleen here.
oh, wait, looks like jenny died, too.
then it goes on for a while about how the crop didn't come in on accounta the frost. she finishes up with something about a tornado and how your mama and your daddy died in that. but don't worry none. she'll take care of the dog. that is, if it gets over the worms.
anybody else need anything read?
somebody just told me he wins the three-legged race every year.
he does it all by himself.
what is that?
can't i get one of those steaks you got grilling back there?
stop aggravating people. just eat your food.
the fork is the least of your worries, claude.
what's your name?
what are you in for, willie?
what about you, radio?
you killed santa claus?
i kinda lost track of how many people we killed that night. must have been 15 or twenty -- not counting women and children. it was a real bloodbath. all that screaming.
he just blocked it out. nigger's crazy. he's the one who did all the stabbing. he's capable of some heinous shit. how 'bout him down there?
you all been here a long time. doesn't anybody ever escape from this place?
greenville, that the nearest town?
alright, well, let's say you make it to greenville. what's there, anyway?
wait up there, claude. you give that guy your corn bread and the next thing you know you'll be ironing his shirts and clipping his toenails.
my corn bread? oh no, my friend. i love corn bread.
i thought my mama made good corn bread but this is really something special.
who knew i'd have to come all the way down to this here prison, deep in the asshole of the great state of mississippi, to find such a tasty piece of corn bread?
and who knew that in this great corn bread-making institution i'd come face to face with the biggest, ugliest, stinkiest, ugliest gold- mouthed negro in the entire world. now get out of my face before i lose my appetite!
shit, goldmouth. back in new york, i know bitches who hit harder than you.
got him good, huh, claude? he won't be bothering us anytime soon.
biscuit, when you're done with jangle leg, you think you could squeeze me in?
i'm talking about a haircut.
they're called subways. a nickel will take you from one end of manhattan to the other. helluva ride, too.
sure i've been to the cotton club. it's pretty sweet. but it don't hold a candle to the boom boom room. that's where the real action is.
that's my joint. the swinginest nightclub in town.
well, not yet. it's still in the planning stages.
just because it's in my mind, goldmouth, don't mean it ain't real. everything worth anything starts with a dream.
mama?
what are you doing here, mama?
don't worry about that. hey, fellas, this here is my mama. these are some of my friends. that's willie, there's poker face, radio, cookie, goldmouth, biscuit, jangle leg.
this is a big surprise, mama. i sure didn't expect to see you down here.
don't cry, mama. this place ain't so bad as it looks. sure, we work hard, but there's plenty fresh air and sunshine.  and you know something else, i've taken to going to church regular. they got services every sunday right there in the mess hall.
i can't take that, mama.
i can't believe this. i always said i'd never end up like this. i thought i'd make something of myself, do something with my life. you know, be successful. have a big house, a family. now i'm gonna end up just like daddy.
they gave me life, mama.
cookie drew me a map to greenville.
you know what i'm saying.
that's why we won't take the train. cookie showed me where there's a farm house. they got a boat there.
what i know about boats is they take you to freedom. come on, man. i think we can do this.
you want out of this place, don't you? don't tell me you're starting to like it here.
what does that mean?
i'm not gonna forget it. what does that mean? if you've got a plan, i think i have a right to know about it. i told you my plan.
you mean the boom-boom room?
you should have come by last night, radio. you woulda had yourself some fun.
i'm talking about old satchmo nearly blew the roof off the joint.
satchmo.
he's a good friend of mine. drops by the club whenever he's in town.
yeah, things were hot last night, but you'll never guess who's playing tonight.
that's right, fellas. catch any cab heading uptown. all the drivers know ray's boom-boom room.
c'mon, goldmouth, somebody's gotta watch the front door.
made just for you, cookie.
no problem. oh, boy!
how about some worchestershire sauce! and clean that damn table.
c'mon, poker face, what's a club without some dice?
maynard banks, esquire. attorney at law.
i'm sure it don't.
claude.
what do you want, claude?
my daddy always said when a man starts talking about the weather keep you hand on your wallet.
cut the bullshit. what do you want, claude?
yeah.
we? did i hear you say we? as i recall, you're the one who said there is no we. guess we got some bad news in that letter, huh?
on your behalf. what happened to we?
well, let's just think about that for a moment. he's a successful lawyer up in new york city and you're down here with a bright future in the cotton picking business. eeny, meeny, miney, maynard.
you know what, claude? this whole time we've been down here, you've done nothing but think about yourself, acting like this whole thing is my fault. that plan with your cousin, did that include me?
at least you're honest for once. so now you want to be my friend? well, let me tell you something, claude-my- shit-don't-stink-banks. you got a lot to learn about friendship.
i don't think so, claude. you'd just slow me down. we'd have to stop every five minutes so you could polish your silverware. there's no way around it, you're soft.
i said you're soft.
-- we'll spend a night in the hole. we heard this shit before.
new york's a long way's off. let's just keep moving, okay?
absolutely. the map is very clear.
cookie didn't draw it. i did.
i knew you wouldn't come if i didn't have a map.
i'm stuck!
hey, claude. i just want to say thanks for coming back for me.
hell, you'd probably be half way to new york by now.
claude? you alright?!
keep it together, claude. you wake up the man, he'll shoot you for sure.
all right, man, just settle down. we'll get outta here, claude. we'll get outta here real soon.
we'll just get off at the next stop.
that's right, we'll get off at the next stop. the train's pulling into the station right now.
we're in the bronx, my man. hundred and sixty first street.
hell, yes, yankee stadium. bombers are playing a double-header against the red sox.
i don't know. who do you want?
sure, it says allie reynolds right here in the program. he's warming up right now. man, we're so close to the field i need cleats. how'd you get such good seats?
they must be the right people. whoa, there goes the hot dog man. let's get a couple. damn, that smells good. nothing like a ballpark hot dog, huh?
ketchup? who eats ketchup on a hot dog? mustard's what you want.
give me back that hot dog. i'll eat it myself.
you can starve to death for all i care. now shut up, the game's about to start.
of course, he's in the lineup. there he goes right there. hey, babe!
if you step outside the gun line without my permission, you will be shot. if you trip and fall over the gun line, you will be shot. if you spit, if you pee, if you stick your ass out and take a dump over the gun line, you will be shot.
what you're dealing with here is a complete lack of talent.
you want to hit? yo, claude. give can't get right a shot.
can't be worse than any of these other fools.
told ya.
judge must have money riding on the championship.
you shred it, wheat. that there is fresh water.
be cool, man. you can look, just don't drool.
come on, the world hasn't changed that much.
so, blocker, what do you think of our boy?
we're like his handlers. he can't function without us.
damn straight. i expect those pittsburgh crawdads to remember that.
whatever.
the baby's mine, boss.
don't take it so hard, biscuit. she don't mean nothin' to him.
these are free papers.
come on, biscuit, this is good news. your mama's gonna break down in tears when you show up on her doorstep.
it's 1945. it's a different world now.
well you can't stay here, biscuit. this ain't no life for a man. any one of these fellas would give their right arm to be in your shoes. i sure know i would.
hey, biscuit!
it's a pardon from the governor.
let it go, claude.
make 'em throw strikes.
one of the new kids said they're farming those acres just north of the swamp. he said he saw a crop duster flying around the place.
he said they keep it parked out behind the barn. can't be that hard to fly a plane. lots of people do it.
i don't see you coming up with any plans.
crop duster.
my daddy died in prison. he gave up hope and hung himself. what you're talking about is the same damn thing. that ain't how i'm going.
take that back or we ain't friends no more, claude banks.
better watch yourself claude, before you say something you regret.
well, if that's the way it is.
then i have nothing left to say to you.
alright willie, i think i got everything. i'll talk to dillard, see if i can get up to the infirmary and check up on you. make sure they're changing your diapers regular.
i slipped in a couple of bottles of my latest batch. help wash down all them pills they'll be giving you.
you don't want to give me a gun, boss. i'm liable to use it on you.
excuse me? are you talking to me?
after all these years of blissful silence, i almost forgot how annoying the sound of your voice can be.
i didn't do if for you, anyway. i just ain't no boot-licking trusty, that's all.
that was five years ago.
we're not talking, you're talking, and doing too damn much of it, if you ask me.
you sure looked funny running for those pies, bullets flying all around you.
i always wanted to do that. there is so much love inside of this man.
you and wilkins sure are getting chummy. you two planning on going steady, or something?
hey, i'm a lonely old man. i like to talk, too. so why don't we start by talking about what kind of a plan you're working on?
you can't fool me, claude. i know you got something brewing.
what the hell are you doing?
you haven't driven in 40 years, you ain't even got a license. man's taking his life in his hands, putting you behind the wheel! where you taking him?
damn, it was getting hot in there.
you didn't think i was gonna let you escape alone, did you?
then you're lucky i came along. doesn't take a visionary to spot a golden opportunity like this. now help me out of this trunk.
come on, man, i'm starting to cramp up here. we have the chance right here, right now, i say we go!
back to new york for starters.
this boat's gonna sail without you, too. i don't care if i last one day out here. at least it's one day of freedom. now gimme those keys.
claude, man, i'm serious. give me those keys.
don't make me take them away from you.
you sure it was him?
i don't like it, i don't like it one bit. we shoulda taken that car when we had the opportunity. we'd be half way to new york by now.
i know. simultaneously, they shake and zip. claude bends down and picks up a bowl of gumbo, placing it on a tray next to an identical one.
that's a real nice watch you got there, sir. fancy old thing even plays a little tune.
sure don't. mind if i ask where you got it?
must have been some time ago. maybe forty years?
she give you that scar, too?
like you shot winston hancock?
that's mr. uppity nigger to you.
i'm gonna work this man's brains out the back of his head.
he's got my daddy's watch, claude. i always knew whoever took that watch killed winston hancock. and that was you, mr. pike.
that watch was the only thing my daddy ever gave me. it meant the world to me.
he shoots me, i swear i'll take you with me! i just want to hear you say it.
no, i'm gonna kill him --
that's because you're soft. gimme the gun.
i said you're soft.
i believe this is mine.
he knows nobody wants to hear the truth.
nurse humphries was checking my prostate this morning. i got an erection.
tell me about it. scared me at first. then, before i could figure out what to do with it, it was gone. imagine my disappointment.
well, ruth shoulda built it a little better. damn thing's falling to pieces. gonna hurt somebody.
they oughta tear that shit down and ship them yankees cross the river to jersey.
over to the morgue and up the hill to the cemetery. never thought i'd admit it, claude, but you were right.
you're the one who said that boneyard's the only way we're getting out of here. we're gonna join all the rest of 'em soon enough. jangle leg, biscuit, goldmouth, poker face, cookie, radio -- yes sir, pick a plot and start digging.
i wouldn't be putting that shit up my nose. that came in in somebody's ass. it's like you're sniffin' ass. maybe that's your thing, but it ain't mine.
i got three stool softeners left. that oughta be right up your alley.
hey, where you going? we got money on the table here!
are you trying to tell me after all this time you finally have a plan for busting out of here?
don't tell me, i don't want to hear it. it's probably all fucked up, anyway.
it's too late for plans.
hey, man, cover that shit up!
hey, where's claude? i don't see claude!
he must still be in there.
it'll be too late.
i'm going in for him. he'd do the same for me.
why the hell not?
just put some mustard on it and eat it.
gimme that damn thing.
have my ice cream.
hell of a day for a ballgame, huh, claude?
so?
if you don't eat that ice cream right now, i'm gonna strangle you until you are completely dead.
next thing, you're gonna be complaining about the seats.
damn, i shoulda let spanky johnson drown you in the river when i had the chance.
i'm sorry, he's on medication.