john?
hi.
maybe this wasn't such a good idea. i should get out.
i'm not supposed to be around --
it's four years i'm clean. no alcohol, no cigarettes, no nothing.
it's still not easy.
i should get out.
but you're dealing.
what's in the bag?
what's that for? in case someone needs almond oil in the middle of the night?
stop here. now. stop!
goodbye, john.
yes. hi.
thanks.
yeah.
i don't think that would be a good idea.
one of us has to be here.
i shouldn't.
she liked you. you know this will happen someday, but when it does.  your mother -- that was a shock.
a year.
not this time. his new wife -- he'll make it to the funeral.
it's.  i don't want you to know about my life.
details just open the door.
we were not.
he wasn't even a minister. he was an astrologer.
he was a pisces.
it was not legal.
i was on the cusp.
we were miserable. we were either scoring or coming down -- mostly coming down.
you took off for three months without telling me and called once. that's how magical we were. you were an encyclopedia of suicidal fantasies -- i heard them all. nobody could clear a room like you, john. and the friends, you may have noticed, turned out to be mine, not yours. i envy you. a convenient memory is a gift from god.
in rehab they call this "euphoric recall." you only remember the highs, never the lows.
i was drowning.
you watched --
you did nothing -- "it wasn't your business, you weren't responsible" -- you still think like that. actions have consequences; so do --
-- inactions.
you always meant well.
yes.
ann? i'll believe it when i see it.
are you really straight?
let me see your eyes.
eyes are deceiving. congratulations.
what do you mean?
what was that? i think i heard something.
you're crazy.
i have to get back.
it's like a joke. it's not a real feeling. it's like a feeling of a feeling.
you tried to kill me. you took ten years of my life one way or another. i couldn't hate my mom -- i was too busy hating you.
i remember.
what it felt like. what this tasted like.
john.
come. come with me.
not with you.
such an erection.
weird.
i'm dripping.
kiss, kiss, kiss.
this is the end. it was wonderful. i'm glad it happened this way. it will never happen again. you will not see me, you will not call me again. i'm happy for you. i wish you the best. i'm leaving. i'm going back to the hospital. i shouldn't have left -- but i don't regret it. please dress and leave as soon as possible. i have a key. goodbye.
it's my fault.
get out.
every time you come into my life something terrible happens. i thought i was rid of you. how'd you get here? i don't want you here! i don't want you around me, i don't want you around my mother! damn you!
get out!