look, i'm not blaming anybody, wanda. i'm just saying we left last night and i knew we didn't get that scene.
it was ok; and it's going to be alright. but i'm not settling for ok today. this is a big scene and i'm not leaving till we get it.
alright, here's what i'm thinking. wolf, i want to do the whole scene in one shot.
i know that but i'd like to try it anyway.
no, dolly. we go from close-up to wide-shot and back to close-up in the same shot.
not too many. it's a tough scene for the actors. i want them to feel relaxed, fresh.
jesus!
ok, nice and easy. cora you're doing fine. remember, really listen and really answer. i've got nothing to say to you. just let it happen. it's all there.
that's great, man. beautiful.
let's go. right away.
action.
beautiful; both of you. stay focused. stay with it. no big deal. let's go, wanda. right away.
and, action.
and, action.
jesus christ. why doesn't the guy just get a flatbed trailer with about 600 speakers on it and tow it behind his car.
action.
jesus christ.
no.
there won't be any other sound problems?
switch to radios.
i'm sorry about all this, nicole.
not unless i change the shot; do a cutaway of cora or something and intercut the takes. i don't want to do that. it's a really nice shot and what you're doing is incredible.
the radio mikes are going to make everything easier. so, look. take a moment. let all this shit go. we don't roll till you're ready.
action.
jesus fucking christ!
well, let's see. what do you think is going to happen next, cora?
no, you're not. you're going in there in two minutes and we are really going to nail this scene. i know it. i have no doubt about it. nicole.
one second!
what's up?
wolf?
then let's just stick with the game plan, ok? it's a simple shot. we're going to get it this time, i feel it.
action.
cut. that's ok, cora. what's the line? just say it to me; no acting.
action.
cut. it's ok. no big deal.
everyone relax. we're just going to run the lines. that's all. no acting. just run the lines. then we're going to shoot this fucking scene.
and, action on the run-through.
and action on the run-through.
roll camera.  roll camera.
where's wolf?
get him! get him!
where the fuck is wolf?!!!
i've had to, well i've changed the shot; we're just a little pressed for time. it'll just be a cu of ellen for the last part of the scene, starting with cora's "i was worried about danny." ok? i'll find a way to cut this into the fourth take. we almost had it. that was unbelievable, both of you. but let's not think about it. that moment is gone, and.  we'll, we'll get another one. i have no doubt about it. ok? here we go.
call it, wanda.
action.
cut!!!!
then what the fuck is it!!?
where is it!! you motherfucker! you cock-sucking motherfucking bastard! where the fuck are you!? where!! where!!
can someone help me please?! do i have to do everything myself here?!
hey, cora. why don't you go learn your lines! hey scriptgirl, are you finally going to pay attention here?! hey, focus puller, you want to make a movie or get stoned?! huh, i got some great fuckin' thai stick here! hey wolf, you pretentious, beret- wearing motherfucker! i saw your reel, man; it sucked! who the hell would hire you anyway! hey wanda, next time can you wear a shirt that's a little more distracting to my actors! hey bob! hi bob! can you please make a little more noise on the dolly you creaky motherfucker! what is your name!? what do you fucking do around here?! hey speedo, what's the matter? can't even find a teeny fucking beep?!
see what i have to put up with, nicole!? maybe next time you'll do some of that magic on camera!? but no, no -- wait till wolf is puking his guts out, "oh now i'll be good!!"
god.
should we call up to the room again?
i'm exhausted. i dreamt i was on the set all night. i was just trying to do one shot and everything kept going wrong.
i don't know. sometimes i wonder what the hell i'm doing in this business. it's all just one compromise and disappointment after another. i don't know if i have the personality for it.
maybe you're right. who am i? what am i really capable of? maybe i should just get a job teaching at a women's college somewhere.
i'm not a cinematographer.
no. i'm directing this movie.
that's great, man.
hostess twinkie?
i'm glad you feel that way, chad. and i just want to tell you, i'm really happy we can work together.
good. then you can pick my nose.
we're waiting for nicole.
what?
good.
jesus, what are you doing?
how'd you get here?
oh. we've been waiting in front of your apartment for half an hour.
you're just saying that because you have preparation h on your face.
no you don't.
i'm not. you really look beautiful.
alright, good; everybody's here. we'll do a run-through as soon as you guys are ready.
ok, let's work out the rest of this blocking. wolf -- what happened to your eye?
you going to be alright?
nicole is standing here, chad, you're there by the chair. camera is close on ellen: her first line.
good! "professional," that's the cue; damian steps up to the bed. camera pulls back. the scene continues.
then the kiss. how's that feel?
nicole?
wolf, any thoughts?
let me think about that one, chad.
one second, chad. you ready for one, wolf?
good. call it, wanda.
and, action.
cut. very good.
yeah, chad; what happened, buddy? forget your cue?
oh, i see. how's that for you, wolf?
what line did he move on?
alright, "me" is the new cue. nicole, how does that feel to you?
one second, chad.
chad, how would you describe this scene, in one word?
no, i mean it's a love scene. right?
these two people really love each other. and we want to see that, especially in the kiss.
nicole?
good. here we go. call it, wanda.
and, action.
and, cut. very good. wolf?
yeah, chad. what happened; i thought you were going to hold back till "me"?
i don't know, that seems a little.
nicole, how does that feel to you?
for some reason i was hoping we could get both. i thought that's what we were trying to do here.
good, let's do it. ellen, damian; let's talk for a second.
ok, let's make sure we know what's going on here. these two people have loved each other for years, each of them not knowing the other was in love with them. and tonight, in this little room it all comes out. it's like a dam bursting. does that make sense? nicole?
what about you, chad?
good. let's go.
and, action.
cut!
yeah, i think the lying on the bed is not quite working, chad. let's try one with the original blocking.
ok, right away. call it, wanda.
of course, nicole; are you kidding? hold the roll, wanda.
call it, wanda.
what is it, chad?
what do you think, wolf?
i don't know; it sort of makes sense.
let's do it.
would you care to have a drink tonight? hey, nicole, what do you say you and i have a drink tonight?
that's ok, no problem. i'm just slapping a little water on my face.
so, it's going pretty good, huh?
yeah, you seem a little tense.
but don't worry about it. just take your attention off yourself and put it on chad. work off him a little more.
and listen, i know he's no olivier. but he's got something, don't you think? kind of a natural presence.
so nicole.  anything else i can help you with?
oh, sure.
hey, hey, hey! what the hell's going on here?! jesus, wanda. this is a very intimate scene and a lot of tension on the set doesn't help. ok? now, wolf, let's just go through the first part of the move. damian, on your new mark. good. close-up, damian; ellen in the background.
chad, what are you doing?
i don't know, chad. i don't think it works.
listen, chad. i didn't want to say this in front of wolf but it makes you look a little.  gay.
yeah, a little bit.
one second. you need a rehearsal, wolf?
call it, wanda.
and, action.
cut!
what's the matter?!
wait a second, chad. just talk to me. what's going on!?
you're right. she is not the best actress in the world. i see that now but you've got to help me, chad. i'm asking you to please help me here. we've got to get through this somehow.
something came up.
nicole, listen.
what would you like to do?
that's a fantastic idea. what do you think, chad?
good! and we'll shoot it! hell, why not?!
alright, now we're making a fucking movie! call it, wanda!
and, action.
ok, guys, i think we can stop there.
hold on, chad. let's just try to calm down.
now wait a second, chad. there's no reason for hostility.
hey, you want to go? go! i'm sick of your shit, you hostess twinkie motherfucker!
you heard me.
you hostess twinkie motherfucker!
you want to pick my brain?! this is the way i direct hostess twinkie scumbags like you!
get him out of here! someone take him back to his hotel!
are you alright?
nicole, i'm sorry. i didn't mean it. you were great in that richard gere movie.
i'm not lying. christ, i tell everyone how great you are. i've got nothing but respect and admiration for you.
well, why do you think i wrote it?!
it's about you. it's about how i feel about you.
nicole. i've loved you since the day we met.
i didn't want anything to get in the way of us working together.
just as we pull up to your apartment palomino suddenly says he feels so sick he can't work today.
i don't know.
don't know that either. but i'm not worrying about it. i had this dream last night where i was on the set. you were in it, and another woman, someone older. anyway, everything was going wrong. the harder i tried to hold things together the more they fell apart. and you know what that dream was telling me, nicole? you just got to roll with it. and that's what i'm doing, i'm rolling with it. so, we'll just shoot the dream sequence today.
hey, tito. you look great, man.
no, you look good. thanks for coming in on such short notice. this is nicole; she's playing ellen.
listen, if there's anything i can do to make you.  if you need.  uh, just let me know.
did i just offend him?
"short notice?"
oh yeah?
was i freaking out?
that's great: i freak out in my dream; i freak out in your dream. no wonder i'm fucking exhausted.
yeah?
how are we doing, wanda?
scene thirty-one?! i left my notes for scene thirty-one at home! i didn't know we were --
oh, ok. send somebody to my apartment to pick them up; it's the red notebook, under the bed.
good. great. good.
ok, here's the shot. we start wide with ellen standing absolutely still right in the middle of the frame. you got that, wolf?
what happened to your eye?
can you see?
ok, ellen is standing there. the smoke is flowing in and: ellen's line.
good, tito, that's your cue.
you walk around her once, hold the apple out, that's right; just beyond her reach. you're staring at her hard. harder, good. then stop right here. can we get a mark, please?
then we dolly in to tito's close-up. alright, wolf?
no, i think it's better on the dolly.
no, just the apple. and tito, right after we dolly in give me a little laugh there.
big, little; anything you feel like doing. ok? good. let's shoot one. call it, wanda.
hold it, wanda. can we get a little more smoke? is that possible?
good. call it, wanda.
and, action.
and.  cut.
yeah, just a couple. i thought that was uh.  good. tito, that was very good, man, really. you didn't feel like laughing?
oh, ok; i guess i missed it. you could make it bigger if you want. and ellen, maybe just a little more tension when you see him.
right, maybe you see him a little bit.
you see him.
ellen, come on now; concentrate. remember; you're marrying damian tomorrow. you're a little anxious. you have this dream. let's call it an anxiety dream, and tito represents the anxiety.
ok? it seems pretty simple.
good. and bob, let's really have some smoke on this one.
yeah, well, i don't want it hand- held. i want it on the dolly. where's my notebook, wanda?
good. call it, wanda.
and, action.
cut.
yes.
ok, ellen, good. you're on to something there.
well, it's not fake; it's real. just remember, you really want the apple. tito, i still think we could see more of a laugh at the end.
just a laugh.
oh, ok. a laugh. i'm thinking maybe like this. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
something like that. ok? and remember, tito, this is a dream. not everything has to make sense. a laugh right there heightens our sense of.  of.
exactly. wolf, how was that for you?
well, god damn it! it's not going to be! it's on the dolly so just forget about it!
and bob, what the fuck is that smoke? might as well get a couple hamsters in here blowing smoke rings for christ's sake.
alright, let's try another take.
what?!
alright.
yeah, well i don't like your attitude!
the hell you don't! every time i ask you to do something all i get is no, no, no and i'm sick of it! i hired you to do a job; if you're not going to do it you better let me know right now!
what do you mean?
personal?
i didn't say that, wolf. come on, i'm not going to fire you. you're doing a great job here.
yeah, i don't know what i'd do without you, man. you've got a great eye. i just hope it's not the one under that eyepatch.
listen, wolf. let me tell you one thing i've learned; sometimes you just have to roll with things. you know?
roll with it, man. you'll be ok.
is my notebook here yet, wanda?
good. call it, wanda.
and, action.
cut! cut! cut!
mom!
how did you get here?
how did you get out of your room?
it was unlocked!?
mom, you've got to stop doing this. i'm serious. i'm a little upset with you. you could have gotten lost, or hurt.
i know, mom; i've missed you too. but it's not really a good time.
jesus, i don't believe this.
there. how's that, mom? can you see?
shhhh! no. now come on, mom. you've got to be quiet. absolutely quiet. ok?
how's the smoke machine?
forget it. we'll shoot without it.
that's the way it goes, wanda. we're just going to have to roll with it. nothing else we can do. we've got to roll with it, right, wolf?
ok, here we go. ellen, you've got to keep reaching for that apple. i don't feel that you really want it. i mean, christ, how many times do i have to tell you!
alright, nicole. what's the matter?
now wait just a second!
i'm sorry if i was short with you, nicole, but i think you can see i'm under a little pressure here. i'm shooting a dream sequence without a smoke machine, my mother's out there thinking she's at a circus wedding and you tell me the whole movie seems fake!
you did too. you said, "everything feels fake."
nicole, that's ridiculous. you're a fantastic actress. all you have to do is show me you want that apple more than anything else in the world; don't give up. understand? you cannot give up.
ready!
ok, here we go. everybody focus, concentrate. and tito, we're still looking for that little laugh, pal. ok? call it, wanda!
and, action.
cut!
mom, listen to me. i don't want you to move from this chair. do you understand?
mom, i'm serious.
thank you.
ok, good. very good. tito, i think we're having a little communication problem here. all i want you to do is laugh. ok?
i told you why.
look, tito. it's not that big a deal. it's a dream, alright. strange things happen in a dream. all you have to do is laugh. why is that such a problem?
what?
he doesn't have to be a dwarf.
no, tito; that's not --
no. he's absolutely right.
no. we're not going to shoot anything. i'm sorry. thanks for all your help, but it's over. i can't take it anymore. i tried to roll with it but it's time to face the music; i can't do this. i am not a director. the shoot is over. i give up.
roll camera. roll sound. let's go. right away.
and cut!!
wolf, talk to me, man! did you get it?
the close-up?
you're a genius, man! what about the focus?!
how was the sound?
mom, you kook! that was incredible! did you know we were filming?
you were great, you're a natural. and nicole, that was beautiful. don't you dare tell me that felt fake.
oh, hold on. let me think a second.
can i use it for the dream sequence, that's the question. does it work for the dream sequence?
we're going with it, wanda!
it's for the sound, mom. we just have to be quiet.
in closing i'd like to say to all the people who told me not to make this movie, who wouldn't meet with me or return a simple phone call. to my favorite professor at film school whose parting advice to me was to take a job teaching at a women's college. to delores delsporto, the girl i loved in high school who left me for a jr. varsity football player: to all these people i'd like to say thank you but i can't because what i really feel like saying is go fu -- !!