yep. yep, yep, yep.
'bewitched', yeah. good show. chick lived with a faggy guy, then in the last season it was a different faggy guy. okay. here's what we do; get on the horn to amnesia chick, tell her yes. then tell her in 1967 she promised to give me a blow job. worth a try, right?
and here's the jail here, see? escape chute for the borian, he's a dinosaur guy, moves quick, don't take no shit neither. see, you can make him shoot the guard -- ah, hell, look, i played with it a little myself, i'm sorry.
hey, you go ahead, um.  hope you like the present.
tell her i don't steal them locally.
dear ma: filled out the child support stuff last week. office got pissed, under ex-spouse i put "spawn of satan, dweller in eternal dark." just being honest, ma, lady wants me to die.
i'd go without a ripple, that's the truth. ex-con. ex-husband. expired. thanks, ma, for hiding the truth from me for so long. or maybe you believed in me. i miss you. i hope you believed, even for a day. no one did, ma. no one at all. it's cold here. i'm sorry you're dead. your son, mitch.
me. what's up?
hell, no! use your head, girl. let the fucker squeeze the charmin.
hey--! slow down. the kid's okay, she's in my car, what the hell is going on?
hah?
whatever. you cold?
turn on the heater. it doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise which distracts from the cold.
you kidding? pure luck. plus my secretary used her feminine wiles. she's got two, one wile per side. huge. no kidding, you can see 'em coming around a corner, you got time to comb your hair. nice kid, you'd dig her. ah. here we are.
putting my glasses in my cooooat"
i sing what i do so i'll remember it. "turning off the downstairs liiiight" you know?
do me a favor. say, "always after me lucky charms."
thanks. just needed to hear that.
see anything you recognize?
unmailed envelope. addressed to a guy.
another guy's address. two addresses, is basically what i'm saying.
anything else in there?
yeah, well take a look at this.
whoa. ms. class, drive a little truck on the side, do you?
no, ma'am, it's just that.  well, when we met you're all, "oh, fooey, i burned the darn cupcakes." now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later sailors come running out, they can't take it.
what the hell? lemme check the scanner.
why?
where the shit did you get that?
sam, goddammit, you're gonna kill someone! hey!
the diner? that's half a mile away, are you fucking crazy?
how the fuck can you tell?
aw, cut me a break, fran. i been out eight months, i'm back doing skip traces, now you got me stealing fuckin' bicycles?
you. you're the matter. look, you wanna keep going, good luck. i'm driving back to ohio. you're free to come with me.
goddammit, lady, i'm taking you *home*.
yeah, matter of fact. four years inside. marion, illinois, real shithole. get in the car.
seven years ago, atlanta pd. me and my partner, we handled a lot of impounded shit. fucker hated me, boy. one weekend, when he was conveniently gone? some bearer bonds disappeared from his office. and lo and behold, when the police responded to an anonymous tip, you'll never guess what just happened to be sitting in my closet.
hell no, i did, i stole the fucking things.
now every dollar i hand my kid, he asks his mother did i steal it.
no more killing.
nice crowd.
who wouldn't be? corner booth, there's a beaut. while you're doing her doggie- style you can pop the zits on her back.
whoa. you remember your father?
ms. caine, last week at a party i ran into a girl i knew from college and we chatted for a few minutes. and it wasn't til i was driving home on the freeway that i remembered that i'd screwed her in the back of a car once. everyone forgets.
no, see, all's i'm saying is you're not alone.
fine. i gotta use the head.
pork. on your nine.
so you shot a guy in the head yesterday. we wait outside.
too bad. people shouldn't shoot other people in the head. just themselves. during that show with the little girl who's a robot.
how do you know?
you think i'm gonna shove it down my pants? shoot my damn dick off.
ho, ho.
*jesus wept*!
beautiful. fuckin' beautiful.
*what happened to bulletproof*?
got a tail.
don't ask me, i just work here. did you bump pelvises with him or not?
and you kid, cathead --
yeah, whatever. um, could he be the?
enough. you're giving me a stiffy.
relax. she's with luke. that's his name, luke.
yeah, yeah, we weren't real big on what you told us. i had him call you an ambulance, so shoot me. should be here within fifteen minutes.
the guy's story checks out. sam knows things about him. stuff only a lover would know.
don't worry about it. chick signs my checks, i'm gonna watch her get aced? lie back down.
cut me a break, nimrod. she's married with a kid.
how'd you know?
tell me about daedalus, what's his story?
come again?
where the hell? i know i just heard that somewhere, something about a.
oh, fuck.
nathan, that son of a bitch has one in *his* leg.
oh, jesus! that's how she knew all that shit, not from *dating* him -- she *studied* the fucker to take him out!
ah, that hurt like shit!!
same as -- virgins, *what*?
no, i slug 'em in the jaw and yell "pop goes the weasel," what the fuck are you talking about? who are you??
i'm confused. gimme a minute.
okay. let's say i buy it. you're actually a trained killer, jesus, i can't even say it with a straight face. so then.  samantha, she.
fabrication. and now she's just.  gone? forever and ever?
pretty convincing act.
i mean, her personality, it had to come from *somewhere* --
drink up. what's next?
chapter. can you trust them?
the lady's whacked, trin, she's lost it and i want fucking out, now *call the feds*. she's moving us tonight, i'll sneak out to this phone, call you back at midnight with the details.
all right, charly. what did that accomplish?
oh, no. he just traced that call?
whoa, time out.
"charly." fucking unbelievable. shame about the fat ass. i bet you were really attractive once.
no.
did he make good?
your father was murdered.
okay, what's going on?
you kidding me? i'm an ex-con, lady. i wear a shiny suit, my tie's crooked, and the last time i got blown candy bars cost a nickel. plus i'm ugly, so what's up?
chemistry my ass. know what i think? i think this is why you'd fuck me. to kill a schoolteacher. bury any trace of her.
sorry, i liked the schoolteacher. when she comes back, give me a call.
oh, and call your fuckin' kid, will ya'? it's two days to christmas, and she's under the mistaken impression that mommy gives a shit.
saving your life. woulda got here sooner but i was thinking up the sandwich line.
what other guy -- ?
don't be so sure, others have tried. the entire population, in fact. look, about me? i mean, what's up, you're this hot survival chick, i'm getting the feeling you don't need me anymore.
dear mom: i was tortured, now i'm in atlantic city. the girl of my dreams just threw me out of a speeding car. now more people will come an shoot me in the head. on the plus side, i won two bucks at video poker.
found a use for me.
why didn't you say so? gimme a second while i pull it out of my ass.
what about it?
how would you know? someone filed off the numbers.
what's in it?
why me?
shoulda known. gimme the key.
humor me: you're a paid assassin, then you fall off a cliff. sink under the ocean, and when you come out you're a fucking schoolmarm, wanna tell me what happened?
mmmm. personally? i'm thinking maybe samantha caine wasn't an act. maybe you forgot to hate yourself for eight years, ever think of that?
no, just some loser thought he could maybe understand, fuck it. i been there, you know. i'd kill for fucking amnesia. i'm with my boy and all i can think is i got reamed in the ass by three guys. merry christmas, son, here's a ball glove, did you know daddy screamed when they carved the name in his back? mary, by the way. i pushed for cindy, but hell. god, i'm tired. i never did one thing right, you know it, not one fucking thing. not even accidental, that takes skill.
yas, massah, i be slowin' de caw down fo' you.
jesus wept.
sure. it's not your fault the gun accidentally went off in mid-air as you tripped and flew over the car.
phone bill, christmas card.  five buck, swell. you didn't have to kill him, you know.
what the hell was that?
which phone? where?
shit. service centers! they list 'em on the back of phone bills, right?
shut up and find me a gun. hk, mp-5.
almost dark now.
pass. listen, you sure we're doing the right thing? we've got money, we could negotiate.
not so emotional, i'm getting embarrassed with these outbursts here.
yeah? how come you know so much about this fucking guy?
i'm here. suppose you tell me.
what's the matter?
who?
let me go in.
i get by.
come again?
i was gonna say enjoy life, eat out more often.
christ, lady, what are you doing in there, playing fucking mah-jongg? *move*.
are you fucking insane? you're talking about 10,000 people!!
i'll wait for you to rescue me.
get fucked, you dumb bastard. charly called washington, by morning this whole place'll be crawling with feds.
yeah, well, that's what i'm saying, there's a couple feds, they couldn't sleep, said they might come early. fuck you, someone'll screw up. just watch.
who?
the patsy.
fuck you.
you foxy bitch.
charly, you there? hello, charly.
behind the big garage. is caitlin with you?
charly, timothy rigged the tanker to go off early. we got fifteen minutes. no more.
hello! charly?
all right, i'll go in and get her, you watch my back.
so kill 'em for me, bitch, christ, what are you good for?
c'mon, buddy. do one thing right, just this once.  please.
piece of cake.
gracias.
dear ma: i'm looking at the ants, they're pretty great. some really funny ants here, ma. all these funny ants, think i'll stay and watch 'em awhile.
yeah, yeah. what else, we got a fucking lightning rod on the roof? no, caitlin, *don't check*.
i think that's yours.
sorry, can't drive.  are you okay?
funny thing? you aren't going to die.  i am.
hey, gorgeous.  know something.  you got your mother's eyes.  don't let.  nobody tell you different.
scared.  to be nobody.  without a ripple.  please.  remember me.  . love you.