in this big game that we play it is not what you find and it's not what you deserve - it's what you take. i'm frank t.j. mackey, master of the muffin and author of the seduce and destroy system of audio and videocassettes that will teach you the techniques to have any hard-body blonde dripping to wet your dock!
respect the cock and tame the cunt, boys.
and you did hear me right. tame it. take it on, head first -- with your skills at work and say, "no. you will not control me. you will not take my soul and you will not win this game." 'cause it is a game, guys, you wanna think it's not -- go back to the schoolyard and have a crush on mary jane -- respect the cock -- you are embedding this thought: i'm in charge. i'm the one who says yes, no, now or here. shit, man. sad but true. sad but true. and you wanna know what? it must be the way. the thing about chicks and the thing about this course that we're going through today is how universal the whole thing is. i mean: i wish i could sit here and say that it's not -- because the reality? if each chick had something new, something really new that i'd never seen before? fuckin' hell: i'd be in the money! because i'd have to create a hundred new cassettes, a hundred new books, a hundred new seminars and hundred new videos just to deal with each and every situation a chick could create - but that is just not the case. they are universal. they are sheep. they are to be studied and watched -- they have patterns that must be stopped, interupted and resisted. i'd be makin' a fuckin' butt load if they were actually as much of a challenge as they want you to think they are! reality: they are all the same. each and every one of them. and once you learn these methods: you're set. you don't have to come back. that's it. in solid. boom. done. over. why? because all women are the same. period. end of discussion. sorry. it's true. sad but true. and anyone who wants to say that these methods we work by are "unfair?" yes, they are. guilty as charged. and so's the world. it's a harsh, hard unfair place, but it's not gonna stop me from getting my fair shair of hair pie -- period. sorry. end of discussion.
number one: get a calendar. i cannot stress this enough. this is a simple item guys. it's 99 cents at your corner store: go and get one. fuck it, if you reach into your packet, you'll see i've been nice enough to include one, 'cause that's the kind of prick i am -- you're gonna need this calendar and i know it sounds like a small thing, but having it makes all the difference in the world: if you meet a girl and you're gonna work an a-3 interuption -- let's say an eight day waiting period before the next call -- how you gonna know when those eight days are up? buy a calendar. next move? mark the calendar. yeah, yeah, yeah. what did i pay my eight hundred dollars for? to hear frank tell me to buy a calendar and mark it? just stick with me and stick by the calendar. mark it up -- use it to set goals -- if you wanna make that "friend" something else -- you gotta be hard on yourself, set goals: you, there: and what's your name?
denise?
-- and she hurt you didn't she? i know, i know. i know how that can be brother, but let me tell you loud and clear what we will be teaching denise when we put our calendars to work and set goals:
little denise, i say this: i mark it up and i write it down and you've been warned: "by the end of may, you will know i'm not gay." "on the fourth of june, denise, you're gonna be lickin' my spoon." "and come august, you suck my big fat sausage." i've set goals for myself. and what? i've said "enough is enough." because why? she's not gonna be your pal. she's not gonna be your friend. you think she's gonna be there for you the second you need something? think again - this fuckin' bitch denise! but: listen up: that is not to say that we don't all need women as friends, 'cause we're gonna learn later on in chapter 23 that having a couple of chick-friends laying around can come in real handy in setting jealousy traps. but we'll get to that. number one
create a crisis -- simple and clean, and if done properly can be quite effective in getting some bush. here we go: set a date with your so-called "friend." let's say you make it 7:30. you call her on the phone --
so i'll see you about 7:30? great, then. bye-bye, cindy.
you wait until about nine o'clock and you ring the doorbell.
she opens it up, pissed as hell, but finds you sobbing your eyes out --
i can't believe what happened.
you explain between sobs that you hit a dog on the way over to pick her up and you had to rush it to the animal hospital but by the time you got there --
and it's paw was sticking out.  and it was too late. it was too late.
i can't believe i'm telling you guys this, but the truly terrifying part is that: this works. any girl that calls herself your friend is not gonna let you be alone in a situation like that. technique #2: staging a fight. this is not knock down, drag out, crying screaming, yelling -- this is a simple, direct and subtle way of planting confusion into a girl's mind. remember we are using reinforcement technique "g" with these women. here's how:
one day, she calls you up on the phone.
hello?
you very directly say:
"i don't think i have anything to say to you, cindy."
let her wonder what she did wrong.
this is the way. because they will always wonder, "what did i do?" "what could i have done different?" "how should i behave to get this back?" and if they think that way -- then they are asking for you to hurt them and that is what you must do. that is what you must do which is punish them many, many times over.
hello, hello, i'm a bit out of breath from all this work --
are we gonna tape some stuff now?
you got us a room so quick?
i'm kidding of course.
i swear to fucking-god, i do one-a-my seminars, i'm superaman! i'm batman! i'm like a fucking action hero the way i feel afterwards, like i could walk out this door, down the street, pick up any fuckin' pootie i see that has even one second to stop --
just one look, one hesitation, one subtle gesture for me to know -- and bing-bam-boom i'm away on a tangent -- i get so fuckin' amped at these seminars and lemme tell you why: because i am what i believe. i am what i teach, i do as i say, i live by these rules as religiously as i preach them: and you wanna know what? i'm gettin' pussy left, right, up, down, center and sideways.
-- go, go, go. i'm givin' pearls here. and i'ii tell you samethin' else: i'm not succeding in the bush because i'm frank tj mackey. if anything, there are women out there that want to destroy me -- it makes it twice as hard for me, i run into some little muffin, knows who i am, knows my schemes and plans -- shit, she's gonna wanna fuck around, prove to her friends, say, "yaddda-yadda-yadda, i saw that guy, he wasn't anything, didn't get me." so me? i'm runnin' on full throttle the whole fuckin' time. dodging bullets left and right from terrorist blonde beauties. but i'ii tell you this: the battle of the bush is being fought and won by team mackey. can i have a cigarette?
what do you want to know?
around here.
hollywood, mainly.
my father worked in televison. my mother -- this is gonna sound silly to you -- she was a librarian.
well i guess it doesn't.
she's retired.
she's my mother.
"go get 'em, honey."
he passed away.
people die.
not a problem.
from '84 to '89.
right.
this close.
muffy, can i get another ciggy?
like i said, yeah --
i don't how much i went -- but i was enrolled. i was such a loser back then. i was -- misguided, pathetic -- i was very fat. not even close to what i am today. not the frank tj mackey you're eager to talk to because i was swimming in what was as opposed to i wanted.
what name? my name?
my mother's name, actually. good question. you've done you're research.
"frank" was my mother's father.
oh, yeah. no, no, no. they wouldn't --
no, no, no. certainly not. i wasn't officialy enrolled, that's right. was that unclear?
i wouldn't want that to be misunderstood: my enrollment was totally unoffical because i was, sadly, unable to afford tuition up there. but there were three wonderful men who were kind enough to let me sit in on their classes, and they're names are: macready, horn and langtree among others. i was completely independent financially, and like i said: one sad sack a shit. so what we're looking at here is a true rags to riches story and i think that's what most people respond to in "seduce," and at the end of the day? hey -- it may not even be about picking up chicks and sticking your cock in it -- it's about finding what you can be in this world. defining it. controling it and saying: i will take what is mine. you just happen to get a blow job out of it, then hey-what-the-fuck- why-not? he.he.he.
-- that's right, that's right, and what i'm saying, that none of my competitors can say is this: that there is no need for insight or understanding. things of the past! gone, over, done. do you realize how fucking miraculous this is? how fucking razor sharp and cutting edge and ahead of it's time this concept is? i'm talking about eliminating insight and understanding as human values. god damn i'm good. there is no need for insight. there is no need for understanding. i have found a way to take any subjective human experience -- in other words -- all the terrible shit or all the great shit that you've had happen to you in your life -- and quickly and easily transform it in the unconscious mind through the subtle and cunning use of language. the "listener-patient" settles into a very light, very delicate, conversationally induced state: not a trance, mind you, but a state. a state that is brand new. the system's state. what did i do? i realized that concept and put it into practical "get my dick hard and fuck it" use. i'm gonna build a state for the seducer and the seducee to live, vote, breath, pay takes and party 'till dawn. i'm gonna teach methods of language that will help anyone get a piece of ass, tit and tail --
i just realized this is for television, isn't it? i can't swear up and down like i just did.
i warned you -- i get on a roll.
muffy -- coffee?
is that still lingering?
so boring, so useless --
thank you, muffy. funny thing is: this is an important element of, "seduce and destory:" "facing the past is an important way in not making progress," that's something i tell my men over and over --
-- and i try and teach the students to ask: what is it in aid of?
yes.
in aid of what?
-- there's a lot more important things i'd like to put myself into --
not really.
this is how you wanna spend the time, then go, go, go -- you're gonna be surprised at what a waste it is -- "the most useless thing in the world is that which is behind me," chapter three --
i'm not sure i hear a question in there?
i know alotta women and i'm sure she remembers me.
mm. hm.
an old stomping ground --is this the "attack" portion of the interview, i figured this was coming sooner or later -- is "the girl" coming in for the kill?
go ahead and waste your time.
and that's what you've heard?
are you asking me a question?
what am i doing?
i'm quietly judging you.
time's up. thank you for the interview.
you requested my time and i gave it you, you called me a liar and made accusations. and you say, "if i'd known i wouldn't have asked," then it's not an attack? well, i don't wanna be the sort of fella who doesn't keep his word. i gave you my time, bitch. so fuck you now.
-- fuck you.
is he at the house?
don't give me things, janet just tell me the thing, the information --
i haven't spoken to this asshole in ten years. what did i do? what did i do today for this? for all of this? . what. is this.  . is this a movie?
put him on --
there's no one there.
welcome back. back from break. i hope you guys stayed away from those little nacho bits i saw out there.  i know. i know. hey, you're not payin' for the snacks.
"how to fake like you are nice and caring." this is. obviously. quite an important section. i mean, let's face it. face the facts. men are shit, right? i mean, that is what they all say. we've all done bad things. bad things that no woman has ever done. that's what they say. we as men are taught to apologize: "i've done wrong." "i'm sorry." "my needs as a man made me" something, something. bullshit. well what i would like to say.
if you feel, made to feel like you need them, like -- like you can't live if you're without them or you need, what? they're pussy? they're love? fuck that. self sufficient, gents. that's the truth. what you are -- we are -- you need them for what? to fucking make you a piece of snot rag? a puppett? huh? hear them bitch and moan? bitch and moan -- and we're taught one thing -- go the other way -- there is no excuse i will give you, i'm not gonna apologize -- i'm not gonna apologize for my need my desire. my, the things that i need as a man to feel comfortable.  you understand? you understand? you need to say something, "my mommy hit me or daddy hit me or didn't let me play soccer, so now i make mistakes, cause a that -- something, so now i piss and shit on it and do this." bullshit. i'm sorry. ok. yeah. no. fuck. go. fuck. alright. go make a new mistake. maybe not, i dunno. fuck.
". it's not going to stop. it's not going to stop. it's not gonna stop 'till you wise up, no it's not gonna stop"
are you phil?
i got your message. that you were trying to get me -- right?
is linda here?
yeah let's. maybe just stand.
let's just wait one minute and stay here, okay?
how long have you taken care of him?
uh-huh. what's going on?
is he in pain?
uh-huh.
how long. you think?
when did he go off chemo?
have you ever seen this. i mean, never mind, you said --
uh. huh.
he's in here --?
no, let's just wait one minute, let's just stand here one minute or so --
oh yeah.
uh. huh.
mmm.
so. phil. um. i think i'm gonna step in and try and see him and say something if he can. talk. i mean:
can you stand. back. maybe, i mean.  just a little bit. in the room is ok, but back from us a little.
dad. dad. hey. earl?
hey. dad. dad can you wake up a minute dad?
he's not waking up.
dad. dad it's me. it's frank.  it's jack. it's jack. dad.
i'm here. i'm here now. what do you want? do you want anything?
just wait. dad. you want something. can you say.
oh, dad. it's ok. jesus. ok. it's ok. i'm here with you now, please. i'm sorry. it's ok. alright. ok.