and so if you elect me governor, i promise to take care of california the same way i take care of my own family; with compassion, caring, kindness, and most of all, with an interest in everyone. my friends.  'california is my family!' the crowd cheers and waves "gluckman for governor" signs.
speaking of family, i'd like to introduce my wife bess.  bess smiles and waves.
 and my daughter, little brenda. brenda smiles and waves like a campaign-trail veteran.
any questions? the press begins shouting questions. bill picks.
deb?
in fifteen minutes?
it's a disaster.
thank god.
i have no idea. i thought he was out of town.
i thought he was at the chalet in aspen.
what are you doing here, son?
no, no. i love his enthusiasm.  it's just a little misguided. there must be something he can do for the campaign, where he can't hurt us.
i don't know.  phones, stuffing envelopes, making signs, something. cut to:
 in bill gluckman's administration, women will have better health care, women will have better day care, and women will have better jobs! from here on in, my campaign has a new slogan!
bill gluckman's down with the bitches and ho's'?
no, tom. i promise you, i will not lose this election over my son.
set up an appointment with my shrink. cut to:
dammit, brad, stop acting like a gang member. you're from malibu, you live in a nice home.
you can't be excused until you do.
that's it, mister.
what about your bar mitzvah? dissolve to:
mazel tov, bradley!
oh stop beating around the bush, bess. what we're trying to say is, brad, that your behavior is, well, it's an embarrassment to the family.
i'm sorry, but it's the truth.
and, brad.  i can't have you on the campaign any longer.
do you think we can bring him back?
great news. if he sees brad five days a week, he says we'll see improvement in three to four years.
right, good point.
i'm all ears.
you mean, have brad actually.  go there?
sounds dangerous.
how does it work?
i don't know.  it sounds so drastic.
who do we get for the gangsters?
fellas, instead of thinking of yourselves as what set you're from, or what crew you're rolling with, why can't you both be brothers. what do you say?
you see.  'california is my family'.  cut to angle on bill and the gangbangers playing basketball, having a wonderful time.
if we work together as a family there's no telling how high we can go.
will he be safe?
i don't know.  can't we just.  he looks out the window and sees brad's new banner. it reads, in graffiti colors: "election erection."
alright, fine, just do it.
terrific. how's the brad project doing?
and he's okay?
oh.  cut to:
 oooooo.
 oooooo.
bradley's been involved in a gang shooting.
his face was on the news, tom! i think i know my own son!
sleep? he's shooting the hell out of south central. we've got to get him!
forget the debate!
you can shove the campaign up your ass, tom! i will not lose my son over this election!
a positive!
you're trying to get votes out of this?
i'm his father.
i guess right now. bill grabs tom by the shirt and slams him into the wall.
you're fired. as bill takes off:
i need a location on license number.
brad! are you okay?
hey there, fellas. bill gluckman.  i'm running for governor.
i absolutely recognize that street violence is tearing californians apart.  you see, guys, california is my family, and hey, here's a thought. instead of thinking of ourselves as what set we're from, or what crew we're rolling with, why can't we just be brothers? what do you say?
i didn't know anything about that. you've got to believe me, that was not part of the plan.
it was stupid, i know. i thought i'd tried everything.  i just didn't know how to deal with you anymore.
i'm not proud of myself, brad. i made a lot of mistakes, and i know i wasn't there for you, and i can't change that, but i always loved you and still do.
 and if you say this is really who you are, then i believe you and accept you, and from here on in, i promise to be a real father to you.
i'm here, ain't i? brad looks at him. bill looks back. everyone looks on, riveted.
much love. they pound.
hey, kids.  sorry to interrupt.
well, i'm about to go on and, brad.  i want you to be part of this.
i need you to help me get the urban vote. introduce me.
and, son, don't say it.  rap it.
for real, son, for rizzeal. shondra looks on proudly as music -- heavy on emotional strings, swells, driving the movie audience to feel as good as they've ever felt in a movie. brad takes the stage.
this is a monumental day for our glorious state and there are several people i need to thank here tonight.  there's the international brotherhood of police officers.  applause, as police officers salute bill.
the southern california rotary club.  a table full of well-dressed professionals wave politely.
and our friends at the environmental defense fund.  a group of granola-type environmentalists smile. brad clears his throat, causing bill to look at him. brad gives bill a "reminder" nod.
oh, and of course.  pull back to reveal: we're actually in the proud bird.
 all the bitches and ho's.
the pimps.  the hoodrats.  the lavishly-dressed pimps raise their canes to bill.
the association of korean grocers. an asian family give bill the "thumbs-up."
the playas. the ballers. the shot callers. and a special shout out to the i-9's.
and.  the women's organization of california. a table full of prim elderly ladies golf-clap and smile.
and most of all, i'd like to thank my campaign advisor on urban affairs, and my son, b-rad g. applause as brad grabs the mic at the podium.