ah ha! here we are! aramis! porthos is here!
aaaaaaaramis!! porthos is --
sorry, my dears. you would have enjoyed it too. he's hung like a donkey.
really? i haven't been able to see it for fifteen years. go on now, leave his holiness alone. i'll bring you back tomorrow when he's in a better mood.
please revel with me, aramis, i need my spirits lifted. i'm old, i'm weak, my strength is gone --
i just said you're praying! are you deaf too? i know you're blind, because if you had seen the tits that just walked out of here, you'd have tears in your eyes.
really? if you can name me one thing, one single thing, that is more sublime than the feel of a plump pink nipple between my lips, i will buy you a new cathedral.
forgiveness?
forgive me.
am i forgiven?
i observe your forgiveness isn't sweeter than a plump nipple.
how are you, you skinny little pup!
deep and hard, d'artagnan.
we were all musketeers once, eh? oh, i forgot. for the poor, the ones you were praying for.
i wonder how athos is doing.
aramis.  is this the way to hell?
where are we?
mother of god!
a tomb? we're in a tomb?
yaaaahhh!
but -- doesn't god ordain both pope and king?
it is a weighty problem, aramis -- but perhaps you should leave it to this secret general of the jesuits, whoever he might be.
it can't be done.
they are very large keys.
he gets one day of confession each year. today is the day.
best not to ask. shouldn't even talk about it.
i don't know about you, but i plan to wait here.
i expected action. there was no killing, no fighting, i was useless.
i have no appetite for food, i am wasting away. say goodbye to porthos, for he is gone. even women don't interest me now.
i tell you a secret. i sleep with three women at once, not because my appetite is so great, but because now it take three to excite me.
kidney rocks. it hurts when i pee. it hurts when i shit. i'm just a fat old fart with nothing to live for any more. i'm going to hang myself, as soon as i'm sober.
aramis! athos! he looks exactly like.  exactly like.
i remember that night. d'artagnan was drunk, the only time i've seen him that way. the three of us were reveling, remember, athos?
i don't understand. what does this have to do with? you carried a baby somewhere, it's unusual, but --
the child of the king is.  the king. louis!
athos, do you understand this? he confuses me --
but why?
it's no use. my sword is bent.
no, it's dead. i am useless.
a'dieu, cruel life! farewell to useless porthos!
aramis!! you did this, didn't you! you knew i would try hanging myself, and you sawed the beam! admit it! admit it, by god!! admit it!!!
well.  well.  okay.
what use am i?
why didn't you say so?
it is good to be out on a mission again.  we are out on a mission, aren't we?
you're right. tell porthos nothing. he needs to know nothing, for he is useless.
old? old?! you're all trying to rob us because you think we're old?
old?! i'll show you old!!
let's see you rob somebody with your pistol there!
i have to tell you something. i love paris!
aramis.  these are.  these are whores!
did she have tits like that?
he's going to kill you, aramis.
d'artagnan, unready?
who?
it was mine. but since you are about to be the king, it is yours.
and make love as if you don't care. the way kings do. and fart whenever you wish.
d'artagnan watches everything. we have to be lucky.
the king! look! it's the king!
wh-- ? where did he come from?
can we eat.  before we go? this excitement's given me an appetite.
a note. pinned with a dagger, like the old days.
"phillippe has been removed to the bastille, to the lower dungeon. at midnight tonight i will order the guard changed, and will delay the replacements for ten minutes. that should give you ample time. never have i needed more to say: one for all, and all for one. d'artagnan."
what choice is there? if phillippe is in the bastille, then to the bastille we will go.
so what? i'd rather die covered in blood, than an old man, lying in my own piss.
open up! we have a prisoner!
it worked!
d'artagnan!
d'artagnan is right, the courtyard is filling with soldiers!
he is right, d'artagnan.