how do i feel? i feel she just overheats on every little side issue, and when i go to try and communicate with the woman, for some unknown reason she doesn't believe a damn thing i say.
see what i mean?
so what, he's not interested in that, that's not what he's asking. see what she does? she wants to dig up and haul out miscellaneous things that's got nothing to do with this. i mean, i agreed to come here, okay, but i have to tell you, iwo jima's got a lot of faulty notions in her head about me that.
pardon me, i was making a statement here.
well, i forgot the upshot of what i was saying, but.
the hell you are, honey.
 at fifty bucks a shot, out a my pocket.  i'm going to listen to some pencil-necked butthead tell me i don't know how to relate to you.
i hear you, honey. but let's have just a little more trust on your end of this thing, okay? that's all i ask. get in.
now don't start lazing around, june. let's get with it.
it's very nice, sluggo. go hose out the kennel. she goes back to reading.
where the hell are my nail clippers? the phone on his desk begins to ring:
i told everybody to stay out of these drawers.
get this first, will you.
remember, don't say i'm here 'til you find out who it is. she picks up the receiver and speaks into it:
yeah? who was it?
bastard.
don't give me a bad time, lard. i've got enough trouble with iwo jima and her complaints, alright? now the woman doesn't even believe you're my niece.
that's not the point i'm making. suddenly irritated, he begins fumbling through a pile * of bills on top of the desk:
you know what's gonna happen if i can't pay these damn breeders and get some adult dogs on the premises? pretty damn quick, some asses are going to hit the pavement, believe me.
jesus, here i am, sitting in the center of a lot of wealth, the escalation in crime couldn't be better, and i'm not turning a damn nickel on it.  he catches sight of something outside: *
oh shit. there's lee.
i'm in vegas, delivering a couple a dogs to wayne newton. duke, fuss'! you don't know when to expect me.
duke, platz! always the name first, and then the command.
now, in regard to any aggressor seeking to give you a bad time, i want to show you what you can expect from a dog of this caliber.
here we have the dog's arsenal, so to speak. the animal is trained to apply pressure to specific points of the body until the bone is more or less crushed. if the attacker is bearing a weapon of any kind, be it a gun, a club, a knife or what-have-you, the dog will, excuse me for saying.  .  automatically go for the testicles.
you want him to do that.
believe me, this will scare them, as well as incapacitate their mind and any ability to maneuver against you.
let me ask you something. i like to get a general picture of the individual situation i'm working with.
are you married, single, living alone or with some other party?
well, the hills are hit heaven as far as burglaries go. and right up on mulholland is where they found the fifth victim of the westside slasher.
believe me, i know what you're up against, being an attractive, and i take it, unattached woman, such as you are.  but we're going to remedy that situation right now, and get you to feeling as safe as a little baby, alright? what've we got there so far?
well, that's enough for a start on the basic control commands.  he scans the grounds for signs of something we as yet know nothing of:
now let's do a little work with the assailant.
she holds duke on a short lead, and as they move along a wooded area of the grounds, he leans in close, directing her in confidential tones:
alright now, joan, give him the command, 'duke, wachen sie.'
good. the dog is now on alert.
this is really a nice piece of real estate you've got here.
oh, it's your sister's. and where's she?
never look at your dog.
dammit, june, don't exhibit fear until i tell you! seeing the dog still in pursuit, june ignores the command and as duke continues to tow joan behind him:
get him under control now, joan.
give him the off command!
duke, aus!
what did i tell you?
ordinarily i wouldn't do this, even on a temporary rental basis, because he's the absolute top security and attack dog in the country.
is this your sister?
uhm hmm. wait a minute, who's this guy, isn't this red layls?
no kidding. your sister's involved with red layls? this guy's gotta be one of the five or ten richest men in the country, with business connections all over the place.
and she's your sister. that's amazing. i mean, this is an individual i'd really like to meet sometime. he leans in close to a photograph of andy in a bikini.
boy, look at that figure. i have to say, your sister is really an attractive looking woman.
i'll skip back up in a day or two, okay, just to see how you're doing.
and joan, i want you to know, it's been a great pleasure doing business with you.
feel free to call on me for anything. anytime of the night or day, 24 hours.
i sincerely mean that.
come on, dumpty, don't start that. this is quality clientele. it calls for a certain kind of approach. just soak some of this in, will you? he steps past her and goes to the van:
start to pattern yourself. breed up. observe the woman, for christ sakes.
you don't screw this type of individual.
this is the kind of atmosphere we want to gravitate toward. did she even ask me the cost? dammit, i really respect that.
well, i'd have to say this place * is a snap to break into.
don't worry. the dog'll take care * of anyone trying to get inside.
no, you don't have to do that. this is just some ding-dong that's trying to scare you.
but you don't want to give off that impression, by acting too timid or afraid, because that's what invites an aggressive attitude from certain types of men. *
for instance, don't go mincing * along, taking mousey little steps, and waving your hanky, because * you're drawing a target on yourself if you do.
well, let's see. just walk back and forth the way you normally do.
okay, but keep in mind that you want to exhibit a very confident attitude. look like you know what you're doing and where you're going.
just remember to stop short of appearing a little dykey, because that's not attractive.
no, no, you always want to remain a little bit attractive. otherwise that can set somone off too.
sure you can, it's just a matter of degree.
uh-oh. now what's this?
tell you what. let me take you out of here, buy you a drink, and * see if we can't get your mind off these kind of things.
oh, i'd say seven or eight years, around there.
i have to tell you the truth.  i've been observing your hands, and i have to use the word exquisite.
you're probably quite a singer too. i'd like to come down and catch you sometime.
very much. even to the degree that when it's playing on the radio, i sometimes have to turn the damn thing off. thinking he is revealing a peculiar brand of wit, she laughs.
i just mean it starts to get to me too much. i can't swallow my saliva.
yeah, symphonies, operettas, poems, things like that. all those type of things really get to me.
well, it was a while back there that i did, yeah.
it depends on the man and woman you're talking about. they arrive at the fence and as she speaks she rests one of her hands on the railings:
there i disagree with you.
is that right? oh yeah, i forgot that part.
we can go as slow as you want.  why not?
oh yeah, absolutely.
what?
oh don't worry about that.
no, that's just normal in most of your adult males. some percentage of the time they're gonna attempt to make these vulgar motions on your person. he places his arm on the couch behind her:
you just have to be very firm and stay on top of him. in the sky beyond the hills a helicopter beams its light.
no, it's very nice.
you know what's affecting me?
you are.
don't worry about it.
there's no problem. he leans over and kisses her. after a moment she breaks off:
uhm hmm.
you know, i'm not one of these guys who's going to look upon you as an object.
because i look upon a woman as a whole.
other modes?
uhm hmm.
other modes is fine. you don't have to be shy with me. i've been asked to do do every kind of thing in the book. he kisses her once more. her response, is far less tentative. as it begins to border on the ardent, she breaks off again:
find out where she is.
tell her we'll find it.
no.
let's just take a run out there.
well the guy must be doing something right to have amassed that amount of wealth.
joan, can i make a suggestion?
you better try an keep up a little with the flow or we're gonna get cited.
hell, i could come in here and say i was a doctor an' sign somebody out.
okay, let's stop wasting time here, where is this guy, what's his name?
what kind of business are you running here, buddy?
nothing. no dr. monroe park.
i've got a couple of ideas here. first, we want to try an' connect with red layls.
there's nothing to be afraid of, believe me.
i know these type of guys. you take away their money and their power, and what are they.
just hold off a bit on that, honey, will you?
what?
well that's what you are.
i want to get a hold of this top private investigator, who's a close, personal friend of mine, okay, and get him to find out who this doctor is.
don't worry, we're going to find your sister. everything's going to turn out fine.
no, it's not what you think. this is a very unique individual i'm talking about. plus there's a mind there, as well as a body and a face.
i'm telling you, this is something completely different. you gotta meet her. she sings opera and has * the hands of a hula dancer.
anyway, you remember that private * detective that use to come in here all the time? on the portly side, bald, had kind of crossed eyes.
yeah, that's him. how do you think i could get a hold of him?
what?! * june, mouthing "there's some guy over there wants to see you." then she gestures to a continental town car in the parking lot next to the house of bliss.
you're talking to the wrong godammed party, you know that?
no, you hear me out, friend.  he takes note of the driver coming around the front of the car. he stops a few feet off and unbuttons his jacket, revealing the cross-strap of a shoulder holster.
look, i happen to have a very high regard for this party. and maybe i even have some feelings of a personal nature here.
goddamned right.
wait a minute.
you know, that's not necessarily entirely accurate, i mean, i don't know where you come up with these so-called facts, but.  i can't go sneaking around, stealing this lady's property.
what do you mean, 'unpleasant'?
jesus christ, i hardly know the woman. i'm just renting a dog to her, that's all. what kind of a person do you take me for? harry stands in the parking lot, watching as the con- tinental drives off. he starts to move toward the house of bliss, then stops and opens the voucher, braving a look at it.
oh come on, you're way off.
well, he's right, i could've told you that. this is a man who goes fishing with the president, honey. he's a little high up to go around burglarizing people and sending them nasty notes. so why don't you just ease back on this thing for awhile.  life's too godammed short.
i'm trying to chase the guy down, okay? but don't go and make yourself sick.  he begins pushing the paraphernalia around on his desk:
i mean, jesus, why don't you just get this damn thing and hand it over to me and i'll give it to these guys.
yeah, to red, or whoever.
dammit, you're making my work more difficult for me, you know that!
i tell you what the hell to do and you don't listen to me! joan looks down at the floor, attempting a drollery:
i'm not ordering you around. i'm just giving you my opinion. and maybe i get tired of hearing about this stuff all the time, this book business, this manu-whatever, and red layls, and your sister.
ah honey, now.
what's her problem.
now what's she complaining about?
 i come over here to look at the ball game and you give me these clowns. a commercial comes on. june hands him the remote and he sits down on the couch, channeling to a baseball game:
i mean, what's wrong with these women.
they don't want to hear the truth, that's what disturbs me.
you tell them the truth and they come at you with a cleaver.
what guy?
you're going to leave me, lard, just after i've broken you in, and taught you the fine art of dog training?
women. what's the score?
why didn't you have the damn dog with you, that's what he's for!
what the hell good is that! you have to have him with you at all times!
yeah, but that's before he tried to part your hair with an axe!
wait a minute. how tall was he? about six one? kind of ugly? helen, now with a drink in her hand, steps into view behind harry:
forget about him. i know what i'm talking about.  helen * joan, if you don't call the * police, i'm not staying here. *
guy like red layls have hit men working for them, that drive them around and do their dirty work for them.
it's not more than one person. i'm telling you who the hell it is!
dammit, joan!! she steps out of the closet and comes toward the bedroom, * dressed in one of andy's negligees.
you can mention anything you want, * honey. i'm just trying to keep you from turning up face down, that's all. after a moment: harry * i mean, i can't leave you up here alone now.
it's very becoming on you.
yes you do.
yeah, i'm going to skip down the hill, take care of a few things, pick up some clothes.
yeah. sure.
hi.
i just want to look for my.  .  watch, i think i left it.  .  in there.
thanks, soco.
i just got a phone call, honey, from a prominent entertainer up in vegas, a very well-known singer.
he's a rock star, you probably wouldn't know the name. anyway, i gotta run a couple a dogs up to him.
now iwo, don't blow this way out of proportion. you think i want to do this. i need the extra cash right now, believe me.
come on now, honey, don't say things like that.  he puts an arm around her, giving her a perfunctory hug:
let's not make a big issue out of it.  okay?
it's really very nice looking, honey.
yeah. i do. very much. she finishes securing the watch.
thank you.
yeah it's great and it's something i really needed, so.  he leans over and kisses her on the cheek, then picks up his fork and begins poking with disinterest at his food.
no. nothing's wrong. everything's fine. she resumes eating. then, desirous of drawing his atten- tion, she fixes her gaze on the table top and smiles pensively, making the assumption that he is looking at her. when no response is forthcoming, she attempts a verbal solicitation:
what?
oh, uh-huh.
well, same here, honey.
you know, there is something i feel i gotta say here, joan, that's been preying on my mind. something i maybe should've handled a bit differently with you from the start, about this particular situation i'm in.
well, you recall i mentioned to you a while back, that i was finished.  socorro steps into view, addressing joan with great excitement:
this is not the way you want to go about this, honey. as she moves out of view into the living room, he turns * to socorro: * *
tell her, soco. she shouldn't mess with these people.
will you just once take the benefit of my advice?
yeah, but this is a whole different situation here.
this is not the pope we're talking about here, believe me.
dammit, joan, these people are holding all the cards. they'll probably throw you into that bughouse with your sister.
you want to go there and call 'em a bunch of names, throw a lot of accusations at them? they don't care. people with that kind of money behind them, with their kind of connections, they never go to jail, you never see them behind bars.
am i getting through to you?
alright.
jesus christ.
this is just nuts, what you're doing.
look at this goddamned traffic. *
you're the one that's dragging along. go around the goddamned truck. *
okay, just let me drive the goddamned car, that's all i ask.
why? i'll tell you why, because you're a terrible driver, that's why.
you operate this vehicle like it was a cane with a red tip painted on the end of it.
driving around with a goddamned ax stuck in your car.
is something the fuck bothering you, pal?
can i at least offer some advice?
good. just barge into the place, honey, and play the big hero. when he tells you your sister's not there, what're you going to do, cry? she stops walking and as he moves up beside her, looks defiantly at him:
excuse me, nurse.
don't worry. just do what i told you. they approach room 206.
what's the problem, dear?
i understand. you're doing your job.
she had to step inside for a moment, to relieve herself.
that's very correct.
i'd say female troubles, mainly.
sometimes he does, yes. by the way, did anyone ever tell you what attractive eyebrows you have?
certainly. he moves to the door, opens it, blocking the nurse's view into it with his body.
don't worry mrs. ellerman, we'll be right back. andy, wearing dark glasses and with her hair hidden up under the stingy-brim hat, steps out into the hallway.
which way?
don't mention it. the nurse watches briefly as they move away, then extracting a key from her pocket, she steps over to the door and locks it.
here, put this on.
harry.
stay in the car. don't talk to anybody, and i'll be right back.
fuck! he turns and moves out of sight.
joan? are you there?
is that you?
i'm having a little trouble getting back in.
everything's under control, just hang on a few more minutes and i'll be right back, okay? as he moves out of sight, her attention is drawn to the sound of muffled voices in the hallway. in a panic, she starts toward the bathroom, changes her mind, moves to the bed and gets into it. as the door begins to open, she grabs one of the pillows and quickly covers her head with it.
aw, jesus.
honey? it's me again. moncrief and joan look toward the window:
i have to tell you something. joan jumps from the bed and moves to address harry:
who's there?
shit.
that's what i'm trying to tell you.
bullshit! i never agreed to anything! this asshole approached me and tried to bribe me into working for them, and i told him to go to hell!
oh, you want to see your check?
honey, don't go by anything this guy says, because i'm the only one who knows what the hell i'm doing. it just slipped my mind, i was going to tell you. see? i never cashed the fucking thing!
alright, what the hell's going on in here?
mr. layls.
i just want a say, that though you're someone in a category i admire, you've gone to some lengths on this thing here, that i don't entirely agree with.
okay. no problem. as he seats himself in the other chair, red reaches up and takes a glass of tea offered by moncrief:
but i want to go on and finish my thought on this, because.
oh, uh huh.
uhm-hmm.
i'm not nodding my head, honey, i'm just listening to the man.
honey, he's not supposed to get excited.
you know, maybe you better not.
now wait a minute.
uh.
so what. i'm talking to this lady.
never mind that shit. tell her.  he shakes him, causing him to spill his iced tea onto the front of his jacket:
did i spend your money! did i give you any services for it. tell this woman the truth, you son of a bitch! harry releases him and under the following, moncrief takes out a handkerchief and dabs at his jacket:
wait a minute, honey.  as she disappears inside, red re-enters, and covering the speaker vents on the beeper, strides over to moncrief:
honey, there's a simple explanation to all of this, if you want me to go into it.  i was trying to tell you at dinner.  she disappears into an intersecting hallway.
will you just stop for one minute and let me talk to you.  it's very complicated.
look, you know, you live a life, honey, you make some mistakes. you get married for maybe mutual benefits, or business considerations weighing on you at the time, and because you don't think the right person is ever going to come along.
i know that, that's why i was trying to come out and tell you.
now there you're 75 percent wrong.
okay, i lied. didn't you ever tell a lie? if not let me kiss your high heel.
wait. can i call you tomorrow, just to see how you're feeling? or how things are going?
don't say that, please. i'm asking you to just give me the chance to clear up all these things in my life, because.
well, i may be all kinds of a son of a bitch, and the prince of whatever, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't, when it comes down to it, stand up and take the bullet for you. she finally looks over at him, her eyes brimming with tears:
hey, lee, how are you. i just this minute got back from vegas. i was dealing a couple of dogs to paul anka. i was about to give you a call.
lee, i'm in the neighborhood of getting my hands on the money. i'm about to close a business deal with vark zulethian of zulethian carpets, you've probably heard of him.
look, our agreement was i could buy the dog back. he's the only thing i got to prove to people what i can do, and all i'm asking you, lee, is.
duke, geh im wagen. duke jumps into the back of the van. inside is a large wire travel kennel with another german shepherd inside. lee removes the leash from duke and gestures at the other dog:
no, i don't want the dog.
do me one favor, will you? say 'owner' if you want to, but don't say 'trainer.' i trained that dog.
yeah.
okay, what is this! what the hell are you doing with this guy! he reaches in and pulls eddy away from joan.
jesus christ.  he grabs eddy's arm and in hauling him out of the car, rips loose the sleeve of eddy's shirt.
are you crazy?! what are you doing, running around with a guy like this!!
what are you yelling at me for?! this son of a bitch is probably the westside slasher!
wait a minute, honey.
yeah, she's alright!! i've got him!! the westside slasher, i got him!!
a friend of yours! this guy's a friend of yours?!
look, you assholes! the guy was holding a knife at her throat!!
what were you doing, kissing this guy!?
why don't you go harass someone else!!
i just saved her life, you son of bitches!!
but that's what i am, honey, your friend, that's what i wanted to tell you, and then i saw you with this guy.
i just wanted to tell you, because you don't know, how important you are to me.
and i needed you to know this one other thing about me, because i don't want to withhold anything from you anymore.
my real name's not harry. it's eugene.
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