are you?
paul apologizes for not coming, she's still getting the house ready.
i don't care. paul's frantic, but i don't give a shit. oh, and ingrid wants me to tell you that she made us all bracelets.
oh, i thought you asked me to tell them. anyway.
i got knicks colors.
it means a lot to pauline that you're here.
holy jesus! watch it, dicksack! ingrid giggles. margot clutches the handle above the door.
if you're wondering about the moustache --
i had a full beard for a while and then when i shaved it i left this part for last, you know to see how it looked, and.  it's meant to be funny.
pauline thinks this is their way of trying to be friends. i think they resent us because we're.
i don't know what we are.
in the late `80's. it was a solo gig after he left the cars.
no. no. believe me, i'm not. i used to want to be, but, no. do you want to be famous?
well, make sure you can handle rejection. i can't. for me, expectation just turns to disappointment. so, ultimately i'd rather not try. it'll all go black for us soon enough anyway.
that man had a sexual screw loose.
just use that information however you want.
we're all getting older.  which is terrible -- i don't care how universal it is. i can't remember names anymore.
i know that. i was talking more about not remembering who was the bassist for motley crüe. malcolm lights up a cigarette. he offers one to claude who shakes his head, no.
mick mars.
my scrotum is longer than my penis.
it's sweet how claude looks up to me. he waits for a reaction and gets none.
margot doesn't seem as crazy as you made her out to be.
i guess that seemed pretty crazy.
yeah, she's really worried about bruce.
nothing, you keep changing your position -- i'm just trying to figure out if i should agree with you or not?
i guess not.
she's attractive.
let's fuck.
fuck it!
paul, what are you doing?
take the extra hit.
it's the smarter play.
pauline! see, i knew you couldn't.  your feet are too small!
fuck you.
wait, we're not finished!
yeah, i kind of know what you mean.
where are we going to get married then?
is he even a good writer? why do people care about him?
it's true. i don't subscribe to the credo that there's enough room for everyone to be successful. i think there are only a few spots available and people like dick koosman and bono are taking them up.
sorry, i wasn't thinking about it. sorry, margot.
i don't want to do this.
i'm not being that way -- i just don't feel like it. i'm going to go back and.  i have work to do.
is that why you think.  that's not why i'm. i just hate swimming. i really hate it. it's disgusting to me. my mistake was saying i'd do it to begin with. you have fun.
people always pee in the pool.
i'll bet you 500 dollars there's pee in that pool.
what?
no, you got dinner, the driving's on me.
well, neither pauline or i ordered dessert.
it's probably for the best. i have this theory, i think, historically, women have been held back in so many ways that when they get power, like they do behind the wheel, they can't help but abuse it. it's akin to hannah arendt's eichmann theory about prison guards and prisoners switching rolls.
this isn't a blanket thing. i mean, women can be great drivers too.
are you doing this for her benefit or mine?
what the fuck?
no, there they go. okay. it's fine. i thought i had no brakes for a minute.
what?!
it's fine, margot!
why don't you fucking drive yourselves home!
well it's that thing where--
okay.
i don't know if --
uh huh.
i'm still digesting margot telling claude. what a fucking nut job. sorry. i think i'm really happy.
hey, sorry. i'm here.
i'm just writing my vows. trying to do something appropriate but also funny -- not jokey, more character based humor. margot pours herself a glass of wine. she looks to malcolm to see if he wants some. he shakes his head. she takes a long drink. silence.
you having an okay time?
yeah, we'll. we'll find him. or else, i don't know.
right, or else he's dead or something. it means a lot to paul that you came.
i hear you've heard the news.
pretty cool. hard to fully take in. it's a little abstract still. i haven't had that thing yet where you realize that you're not the most important person in the world. i'm anxious for that to happen. i guess i have to thank you -- i wouldn't know yet if you hadn't arrived.
of course i can't help but worry i'll pass some not so great genes onto the kid. i mean, in my family there's a lot of hand washing, you know. i don't have it, but my brother does. you working on anything now?
oh, right.
oh, i'm working on some acrylic paint --
nothing. it doesn't matter.
it really.  nothing.
i was saying i'm doing these abstractions in acrylic paint. but it's not.  i'm not getting paid or anything. i don't know, i hate that question, "what do you do?"
i know, but.
i think we shouldn't mention the tree, we should let them know that there will be people and music on saturday and it will be louder than usual.
well, i am ultimately one of them. you shouldn't've made me shave the stache.
oh, hey, ingrid is asking me if i was ever gay. do you know what that's about?
what? what do you want from me?
you brought up the tree.
i felt like you didn't give me a chance to say what i wanted to say.
i want to punch that guy in the nose!
i have too!
lots of -- you don't know them. they're not around because i've punched them.
don't laugh, pauline. it's not funny. i'll fucking punch your sister.
the threat is not out there. it's in our house. it's sleeping in my studio. i mean, i wouldn't actually hit her, but i feel. i feel like doing it. she's such a fucking idiot.
she is. she is an idiot! you're an idiot.
you're both fucking morons. i'm so fucking.  i'm trying so hard. you don't give me any credit.
i don't know, i have the emotional version of whatever bad feng shui would be. i don't know. you tell me, you understand this shit.
yeah, i drank my fucking teas! don't judge me now. really, i think when you look back at this you're going to see i'm not acting like a crazy person. that this is the right reaction. in proportion with what is going on. this is right!
i hate you. exhausted he approaches her. he says, still with anger:
let's make love.
i went to stuy.
really.
you know what i tried the other day? sitting down to pee. have you done this, jim?
i did it as a lark. as a joke really. i was going to call pauline in and say, guess what i'm doing here.
i was thinking, you know, my dad used to say, "why stand when you can sit." and this is a really good example of that. i mean, it took me so long to try because i was embarrassed. you guys do it all the time.
anyway, i recommend it. at least to try it.
those look warm.
pauline, do you want me to cut it down or not?
i liked how it looked on vogler. pauline starts to say something -- stops. then:
i agree. i hate the idea of dick fucking margot.
pauline, that's not what i said.
i didn't say that. i said i thought she was attractive after you grilled me. she has no interest in me anyway. not that it would matter if she did.
what do you mean?
no! malcolm shuts the motor.
can i do this?
uh huh.
it was.
i just did. now, can i cut down the tree?
no. she emailed me after we met at that reading at the college and.  you know we were friends.
pauline, how many times do i have to say it.
because margot can't understand why you're with me and now when she's around you look for things.
i promise.
it's okay.
i'm going to tell you something.
i don't want to lose you, though. okay?
i'm going to tell you.  just let me.  maisy.
we didn't really do anything. we were goofing around, i was making fun of her cause she dates a jock.
i shouldn't've put myself in that position, i know that. we brushed lips really. it was barely a kiss. and then we stopped. that was it. his nose runs. he wipes it messily with his arm.
our tongues touched. i don't want to under-sell it either. i mean.  we made out. i made out with her. i don't know why. i don't even like her. it's been a heady time. what are you thinking? please, tell me what you're thinking.
almost. maisy is talking to her father. dick spots malcolm. he immediately starts toward him. malcolm hesitates. cold fear creeps up his neck.
i didn't do anything! i didn't do anything!
fuck off, dickhead.
ow! dick lights a brown cigarette and walks away. malcolm screams:
fucking dickbag! she's lying! he touches his face and sees the blood on his fingers.
oh, man.
i know. and it's smashed. i'm such a fucking idiot. please don't take me seriously. i mean take me seriously, but not the fucked up parts, you know. i love you so much. please marry me.
i promise.
i ate some of the cake. i don't know why, but i did it.
good.
maybe. maybe it was. i didn't even notice.  they fucked up the cake. how sad. i love our little baby. i miss you.