hello, beautiful.
well, it's a big day. wanted to line up a few ducks before kickoff. any thoughts? last minute refine- ments or variations?
a voice?
what'd it say?
'yes' to the deal?
quince, m'man, thanks for the offer, but it's all set for just me and bill. more people might --
i was saying to quince we won't need --
why yes, bill, i was saying to quince --
tomorrow we sign off -- photo opportunity, you and big john, it'll lead network news. okay so far?
it's going to be great --
bill, after this deal, you'll be able to afford one.
their pr guy asked me, what did i think parrish communications stood for, that's principle and ethics- wise? i came up with something, but then it occurred to me, why don't i ask bill? what do you think?
that's great! wait 'til i show it to bontecou.
i'm all excited --
i thought it was great, i thought you and big john would be like a couple of bulls in a china shop -- instead it was --
you have a way with words.
so.  board convenes tomorrow, you'll recommend, we close and it's a deal, right?
olympic.
he's coming.
unfortunately. i sat between them at the bronx zoo benefit -- it was better than seconal.
good, maybe they'll drown him out.
you're overthinking it --
yeah, something he goes by --
yeah, bill, the suspense is killing me.
what?!
just plain 'joe'?
'joe'
is there any more to it?
like 'smith' or 'jones --'
have we met?
you and bill old friends?
i get the feeling you've done some business before.
what side of the industry did you say you were on?
joe sounds like a ringer, bill. i have the feeling you guys got the broad strokes already. need any help with the details?
joe, you do get around.
incidentally, joe, where're you staying?
'here'?
-- did i hear 'business'?
that was 'joe'.
very.
nice to see you. i didn't expect you, but certainly you can't get enough of a good thing.
the board of parrish communications - is hereby called to order. our sole order of business is an acceptance of john bontecou's generous offer and --
anything else, mr. black? how about some water?
hot or cold.
and a glass.
to review -- we're really crossing the 't's and dotting the 'i's here. bill had a great and conclusive meeting with john bontecou yester- day, all that remains for us is to put it to a vote.
sounds like you're not leaving much room for discussion.
that's your privilege, bill. but given our needs, given the absolute necessity for growth, given the fu- ture, the truth is.  joining john bontecou is every bit as certain as - death and taxes.
yes.
yes.
it's just a saying, mr. black,
it doesn't matter.
you're not familiar with the phrase, "in this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes"?
glad i could be of some help.
but the matter's still on the table, bill --
who is that guy?
get me a field background check on joe black. litigations. bankrupt- cies. credit ratings. the works. got it?
may i interrupting?
'just kidding'?
before i do -- i was hoping we might be alone, bill.
how nice for you both.
i was hired, you told me, to help bring parrish communications into the 21st century. this merger is the vehicle --
i thought this was practically a done deal --
okay.
damn decent of you.
good question.
thanks, quince.
are you?
'it's up to joe'? those were his words?
'it's up to joe', huh?
well, that's very interesting.
yeah. neat.
as much as joe's?
for how long? and why?
boss's orders, huh? i'm great at following them. and i think i'll start right now.
i have a confession to make to you, joe.
well, i'm going to tell you anyway. i did cheat on that exam at groton. but so did twenty-six other guys, and nobody ever mentioned it until today. and i'm expecting you won't mention it again. i don't know who you are and where you're getting your information, but i'm willing to pretend i did not hear it, and let bygones be bygones. but can i tell you something else, it'd be nice to see the big guy without you next to him. what are you, his shadow? do you hold his dick for him when he goes to take a leak? you know some- times somebody would like a few min- utes alone with w.p. that means without you. okay, pal? let's eat.
mind if i throw up?
who are we talking about?
is this a state secret or are we being excluded just for the fun of it?
well, maybe next time joe goes, he'll take us along.
i'll make a note of it. anything else?
you're on, quin-cee. destination hospital. joe, you'll be the tour guide. okay? how's that sound to you?
i have to go, bill -- it's been a helluva day. need a few minutes to sort everything out.
sure.
include me out. i've had enough of the conversations.
daddy'll do fine. besides, he's got joe. and so do you.
that may be. but i don't like the fucker. i don't like the way he looks at you and talks to you. and vice versa.
no, not okay. i thought we had a good thing going here. it shows you never know.
yeah. goodnight.
i know you're all as uncomfor- table as i am to be meeting without bill, but i got a call last night from john bontecou. not only is he still interested, he is sweetening his offer. although it pains me to say it, in my opinion bill parrish dealt with us peremptorily in dismissing any deal with bontecou. therefore, i'm sorry to say that if we are to exam- ine this new offer responsibly as the board of directors of parrish communications, we must do so with- out its chairman. oh yes, there is one additional element: bontecou is so anxious to get us, he said he'd take parrish communications with our chairman or without.
bill's birthday is the day after tomorrow. there is a provisory by- law in our charter. per the discre- tion of the board, corporate off- icers can be retired at age sixty- five.
am i not obligated to?
thank you for coming.
i hope you'll respect its nature -- what we're trying to do here is gather our thoughts -- in light of bill's rejection of bontecou's offer -- and make an appropriate presenta- tion to him as to how we think the company might proceed. won't you share with our board the information you gave me last night?
how did bill react to the leads you've developed?
-- but he was concerned about the timing?
'it's up to joe'?
sorry to intrude, bill, but we've got a bit of a crisis downtown -- it's not something we could talk about on the phone.
yes, you made your feeling abun- dantly clear. now they want to do the same with theirs.
if i read this board right now, they want you to accept bontecou's offer.
what do you think the board is going to say when i tell them that?
with all due respect, you damn well better care because if you try to stonewall them again, there'll be blood on the floor.
yours.
i'm just giving you the truth. there was a time when william parrish liked the truth.
certainly. goodnight.
don't worry about it. there's a beginning and a middle and an end to everything. and i think i've come to the end of my chapter with the parrishes.
not good, not bad, you know what we got? nothing. no credit, no cars, no mortgages -- no wives. nothing.
oh, you're the great joe's attorney now? are we going to go to court? or are we going to go to bed? and i don't mean you and me. i mean you and him.
so i guess a blowjob's out of the question?
did you want to have a cup of coffee or something, bill?
to get to the point, we have re- ceived new information from john bontecou concerning his desires for this company to merge with his, and we wanted to set the details before you.
bontecou wants a quick response and --
don't you want to hear the details?
so i am to understand from your re- sponse that you do not want to hear the details of bontecou's offer?
certainly, bill.
bontecou wants a speedier response than that.
before we do, while we're here, there is a second question the board would like a response to, a far simpler one.
but who is he? what are his creden- tials? what is his relationship to you?
mandatory retirement upon our chairman's sixty-fifth birthday.
the other motion before us is the acceptance of john bontecou's offer to merge this corporation with bontecou international --
that we did. thanks to you. he was wobbling, mind you, but you stupid the coup de grace.
quince, you can't unscramble scrambled eggs.
the train's left the station, pal, and you're aboard. would you like to hear the silver lining? check that, gold. i've been working with john bontecou all along. we had a game plan -- acquire parrish communications then break it apart and peddle it piece-by-piece to the highest bidder. i set it up for him, he smacks it out of the park.
go right ahead. tell william parrish how you betrayed him at a secret board meeting. and tell allison how you got her father fired -- and he lost his company.
this is damn big of bill, i also think it's smart.
he said that?
yeah, the short, gray hairs.
hi, bill, happy birthday --
i don't know where you get that idea -- the board agreed --
is this mr. black's fantasy? another one of his whoppers? aren't you sick of this asshole lurking around? no one knows who he is, but one thing everyone does know, he somehow got your ear and has been pouring poison into it ever since.
so tell me, tell me, i'm peeing in my pants.
i'm not stepping anywhere --
the dagger --?
i think i'd like to talk to my lawyer --
and what do i get?
you're talking through your hat. you're offering a deal because you've got no proof.
all right, you win. as soon as i get back to the city, i'll meet with the board.
who would've ever believed it? you, an irs agent --